Well, it was a great day in South Carolina -- until Florida got all up in our business.

On Wednesday, Sunshine State Republicans threatened to cut in line on us in the presidential primary by hinting that they might vote on Jan. 31. We should have suspected as much from a state whose motto is "Early-bird Specials!"

The presidential nominating system is a time-honored tradition. Iowa holds a "caucus" so that New Hampshire can say it has the first "primary." Then we get to say we are the first primary in South. See, everybody's special, which is a policy the GOP generally opposes -- but whatever.

Leave it to Florida to screw things up. The closest thing they have to tradition is the Main Street parade every night at Disney. And this is a typical Mickey Mouse move.

Look, there is only room for one oversized mobile home park at the front of the presidential primary line, and Florida ain't it.

Smiling faces

It is kind of ludicrous that the geniuses who brought us Bush v. Gore think they need to have a bigger say in a presidential election.

Until the condo commandos prove they know how to vote, there should be an electoral restraining order on Florida -- America's very own hanging chad.

If Florida jumps ahead of South Carolina, it's going to hurt this state. It will cost us money (bad), national exposure (probably good) and dilute our ability to pick the next president (probably good for the nation).

We deserve to be the first primary in the South. We have successfully picked the Republican nominee in each presidential election since 1980, and we have thousands of savvy voters with a long track record of electing well-qualified, upstanding leaders to statewide office.

Well, one out of two ain't bad.

South Carolina is uniquely qualified to road-test these candidates. Where else would their tolerance to grease be tested, if not at Spartanburg's Beacon Drive-In? And somebody has to force them to take a position on the Confederate flag, a pressing national issue ... 150 years ago.

We have a lot at stake here, and not just our pride, or our economy. If South Carolina takes a back seat to Florida, our own Jim DeMint might lose some of his national cachet, forcing him to actually spend time in this state.

And then we'll never get the harbor dredged.

Impatient places

Florida is threatening to jump in line because Georgia, Colorado and Missouri might cut in front of them. You know, it's kind of funny that the "rule of law" party can't follow simple rules. Doesn't give you much comfort in their ability to adhere to, say, the Constitution.

But that's another issue.

The Republican National Committee rigged the system in our favor, and it's patently unfair for Florida to do this to us. We might have to hold our primary on Dec. 26, and that's going to get in the way of whatever third-tier bowl Clemson ends up in.

The Sunshine State just needs to stand down. They get spring training baseball, the Orange Bowl and the Keys. They should give us our week of national publicity that is only marginally bad.

You know, this whole thing smacks of payback. We take their Ball Coach, they try to steal our glory in selecting the nation's next mediocre presidential candidate.

Until they get out of our way, we should boycott those sunny beaches.

Follow Brian Hicks on Twitter at @BriHicks_PandC.