For years, Raven Saunders' identity was wrapped up in how far she could throw an 8.8-pound ball of metal.
And the Burke High School graduate could throw the shot put a long way, far enough to win four NCAA titles in college and make the U.S. Olympic team in 2016 at the age of 20, finishing fifth in Rio de Janeiro.
A pretty good identity to have, if the shot put is flying far.
In order to throw that metal ball more than 64 feet, Saunders came up with an alter ego — "The Hulk," an intense, brooding game face that allowed her to tap the competitiveness burning inside.
"It’s a nickname they gave me in high school,” Saunders said as she prepared for her first Olympic Games in 2016. “I was really muscular for a female, and I guess I resonated with The Hulk, how he transformed into a hard-core animal to get the job done."
But in the aftermath of that Olympic high, which included a "Raven Saunders Day" parade through downtown Charleston, Raven crashed to earth. She ended her college career at Ole Miss, and in her darkest days even considered suicide, a story she first told to The Post and Courier last year.
"I was probably about 10 or 15 minutes from trying to end my life," she said.
Now at age 25, Saunders is in a much different place as she attempts to make Team USA for a second time at the U.S. Olympic Trials on June 24 in Eugene, Oregon.
Saunders has combined trying to peak for the Tokyo Olympics physically with sharing her struggles with mental health on a broader scale, doing public service announcements and telling her story on platforms such as CNN and PBS.
"She's very happy to be helping other people, and I think in turn that's helped her a lot," said Herbert Johnson, Saunders' coach at Burke and a long-time father figure. "She's feeling like she's giving something back more than, 'I'm throwing, I'm throwing and getting these things.'
"I think that's a thing that has given her some peace."
Peace came in the form of trying to find a way for Raven and "Hulk" to live together, with realizing there's more to Raven than how far the shot put flies.
"To me, separating Raven from the Hulk was really learning that how I value myself as a person does not have to be valued by how well I do on a track," she said. "I've learned to separate the two, and to learn that no matter what happens on the field, I'm still me. I'm still smiling and waving, and I can do great things.
"I can use the Hulk as my outlet for things, and save that for the ring. So it's been nice to kind of separate the two and have a clearer understanding of Raven the athlete and Raven the person."
Saunders has been working as a coach at the University of West Alabama in Livingston, and training in Tuscaloosa with University of Alabama throws coach Derek Yush.
In February, she set an indoor personal record of 19.57 meters (64 feet, 2½ inches) at a meet in Arkansas, at the time the fourth-best indoor throw ever by an American woman. That was just off her overall personal best of 19.76 meters set in 2017 in Sacramento.
A hip issue has kept her out of some meets this spring, but treatment and therapy have her feeling confident heading into the trials. The shot put preliminary and final rounds will both be held June 24 at Hayward Field in Eugene, Oregon.
"I feel like I'm in a great place right now and I'm just counting down the days," she said.
Saunders' personal record of 19.76 meters leads the field of 23 entrants at the trials, which will be without defending Olympic champ Michelle Carter. She just underwent surgery on a benign tumor on her ankle and will not be able to defend her title.
Other top contenders are Chase Ealy (PR of 19.68 meters), Maggie Ewen (19.47), Felisha Johnson (19.45), Jessica Ramsey (19.23) and Rachel Fatherly (19.20).
A second Olympic Games would give Saunders an even bigger platform from which to help others struggling with mental health.
"One of my biggest things in sharing my story was just getting information out there to help people," she said. "The amount of love and support from people I've talked to who have gone through similar things, or have family members or friends who have gone through things, is amazing.
"They say, 'Thank you, because now I know what to look out for.' And they reach out to their friends or family members. And honestly, that's been the best part about this."