Reportedly, the ghosts of Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were seen wandering the Vegas Strip Wednesday morning. The conversation?

Hey Abbott, how about the Circus Circus these past few days?

Yeah, Lou, lovin’ those Nevada primary caucuses. I can’t believe that Trump has surged into first place.

Trump’s in first? In marriages and foreclosures, maybe. Who’s in second?

I don’t know who’s in second. Cruz has just one more delegate than Rubio.

Isn’t Cruz the guy who fires people?

No, that guy’s in first. Although Cruz did can his top aide this week.

So The Apprentice is in first.

No, that’s Rubio. He kicked his mentor, Bush, to the curb.

Wow, that’s harsh. These guys seem like real cut-throats.

No, there’s this guy, Kasich, who has significant executive experience, has overseen balanced budgets at state and federal levels, and hails from a key swing state. He has support from major newspaper editorial boards. He likes to hug people and avoids negative campaigning.

Sounds like a low-energy guy to me.

No, that’s Bush.

Don’t tell me what’s bush. I wanna know who’s in second. Do I need to repeat myself?

No, Rubio can do that for you.

So who was that guy with the glazed look we passed in the hallway last night?

Oh, that’s Carson. Everyone passes him by.

So at least we have a minority candidate.

Well, Lou, you also have a woman and a socialist on the Democratic side. And Trump, like John Boehner, proves that Republicans CAN rally behind candidates of color. Orange is the new black.

But back to Carson … He’s still in the race, but taking on water?

No that’s Rubio. He’s in second.

I thought Cruz was in second?

That’s right. But they both are attacking each other so that it becomes a two-man race, because of Trump’s high un-likability ratings.

You lost me on me being right. So you’re saying the worst thing to happen to Rubio or Cruz is … .

(Both Bud and Lou):

THIRD PLACE!

Vince Benigni

Professor of Communication

College of Charleston

George Street

Charleston