Twitter is the latest, greatest techno communication twist that allows you to send messages to the masses with the click of a mouse.

The only limitation to Twitter is that all messages can be only 140 characters, including spaces. And sometimes that may not be quite enough to convey the full message. For instance:

"Hey, Suzie, we're all going to get together to celebrate your birthday so act really really surprised when you walk into the room down at the …"

"Dear Peaches, you know I love you and want to marry you. I don't care if your father doesn't like me. Meet me at midnight behind the old…"

"To all my really good friends down at the Kit Kat Klub: Just got the test results back from the clinic and thought you all need to know …"

High heels

"We were hiking but are lost on the Appalachian Trail. We're hungry and low on water. Please send help. Our GPS coordinates are …"

"I think it is time to tell everyone that our good friend is finally coming out of the closet. So don't be shy the next time you run into…"

"After many years of study and contemplation I have come to know the true meaning of life and wanted to say that you really need to know …"

"Sorry to inform you that a big fire broke out in your apartment building early this morning, but the firemen were able to save your favorite …"

"Will the person who left a pair of high-heel shoes in the back seat of my minivan please not mention it when you see my wife tonight at the …"

60 Minutes

"Dear Mom and Dad, thanks for the graduation trip to Europe. Met a nice guy in Paris. He said we should explore our inner souls at a town near…"

"Thomas said that Meagan heard Elizabeth say she overheard Arlie say that Katherine was talking to Bobby who learned from Tony that you were…"

"I don't know why I listen to my shrink who always makes a big deal about my mother who he says ruined my life and is the reason I took…"

"My parents are out of the country so we've got access to the beach house for the entire weekend! Everybody's invited. The address is …"

"To whom it may concern: I found this cell phone in the men's bathroom at the Kit Kat Klub. I'll leave it at the corner of Main and …"

"A reporter from 60 Minutes and an FBI agent asked if I knew any details about your overseas travels and some guy named Osama, so I told them…"

Reach Ken Burger at or 937-5598. To read previous columns, go to