Kids say the darnedest things, but so do people under the pressure of being questioned by law enforcement.
Which is good, because it makes compiling Your Lowcountry's annual "Best of the Police Blotter" edition a lot more interesting.
Police reports filed locally in 2010 informed us of some of the more unusual purported utterances of people being confronted by officers:
--Asked June 3 by a Charleston County Sheriff's Office deputy at an auto accident scene in West Ashley why he was holding marijuana in his hand, a man reportedly replied, "Because I'm an idiot."
--In another Charleston County Sheriff's Office report, a man asked by a deputy why he smelled of marijuana allegedly replied, "Because I was smoking weed earlier."
--A suspected drunken driver who later blew a 0.23, nearly three times the legal limit, when breath-tested for blood-alcohol, reportedly replied, "What accident?" when asked about the collision he allegedly caused April 25 in Charleston.
--When confronted May 8 by a Charleston police officer responding to a report of shoplifting of sunglasses, a suspect reportedly uttered, "I didn't steal no sunglasses from ..." and then named the shop.
--After being stopped Feb. 21 for failing to use her turn signal, a North Charleston woman reportedly told police her error was due to her eating chicken wings while driving.
--A woman told Summerville police the Aug. 6 vandalism at her storefront may have been voodoo related.
Not only do suspects make interesting comments, so do complainants. In addition to the usual calls and emergencies that law enforcement responded to in 2010, there were these interesting calls:
--A Rutledge Avenue resident told Charleston police early Jan. 1 that an apparently intoxicated person stumbled onto his porch and asked him if he was Bruce Springsteen.
--Mount Pleasant police were advised by a man May 12 that earlier in the month parsley had been stolen from his back porch.
--In West Ashley, a man told the Charleston County Sheriff's Office on Jan. 15 that his wife "was spending his money and going out constantly to play bingo."
--A postal worker told Charleston police in April a man threatened to shoot him "due to him taking so long to deliver the daily mail."
--A man told the sheriff's office May 21 that "his wife took the headboard from her bed out of the residence, and he wanted her to put it back." The deputy's report noted the husband had previously taken a bed from the residence, "so in return, his wife decided to take one."
Before plunging into the best of 2010's blotter, consider this incident, which landed in a daily edition of The Post and Courier in November.
A West Ashley man received an alarming text message from his wife reading: "In chair got shot." Fearing a heinous crime had been committed, he called Charleston police.
Police broke glass out of back doors at two homes looking for the woman, who later was found to be quite well, sitting in her dentist's chair, and having received a shot of Novocaine.
Campers squabble over scary stories
Mount Pleasant police were called to a campground after two women fought after telling scary camp stories to one another, a police report states.
Police responding to a disturbance call said one woman reported that while arguing with her friend she stepped into a fire but didn't need medical help. The woman said they were arguing over not liking the other's scary story, and that they started pushing each other.
A man camping nearby broke up the fight, and told police he was hit in the face but didn't want to press charges, the report says. The women told police they were best friends and would sleep in separate tents and work things out in the morning.
Woman: Threat made during midnight snack
Following a "romantic evening" at the West Ashley home of a man she met a week earlier, a woman purportedly was threatened at gunpoint after looking for a midnight cereal snack, according to a Charleston County Sheriff's Office report.
The 39-year-old woman told a deputy that after she and the man both fell asleep, she awoke, and while moving around, he awoke and hit her. "She stated that they got past that and went back to sleep, and she stated she woke up again to eat a midnight snack," the report says.
According to the report, he saw her eating from a box of cereal and "pointed a gun at her saying that he could shoot her and say that she committed suicide."
The couple then went back to sleep, and she called authorities after leaving his home in the morning, the report says.
When you have to go, there's no holding back
A Georgia woman was charged with disorderly conduct after reportedly stripping outside a concert venue Oct. 2 to use the bathroom.
According to a Charleston County Sheriff's Office report, three detectives saw the incident unfold when the woman, 25, began running toward the venue yelling to her friends.
The woman, who was wearing a one-piece outfit, was intoxicated, according to police, and as she was running, she fell into a construction zone. After getting up, she went further into the construction site, by a pile of dirt, and began to disrobe, the report states.
A detective approached her, introduced herself as law enforcement, and told her to put her clothes back on. But instead of complying the woman said, "You have to wait." The detective told her repeatedly to put her clothes on and then took her into custody.
In her defense, the woman reportedly asked the officer, "Where was I supposed to go?" The report noted the woman was within 20 feet of a portable toilet.
'666' gets man dialing Mount Pleasant police
A 54-year-old man called the Charleston County Sheriff's Office after finding a suspicious package in the driveway with "666" written on it. The man said that his roommate found the package containing a blue moisture-wipes box covered in orange netting when he went to get the newspaper in the morning, according to the report.
The man opened the box and reportedly found another note inside the netting that said, "tick, tick, tick." The man opened the netting and found a note with the words "tick" and "flea" written repeatedly and then the words "two, one, boom!"
A cold pack was under the note, the report says. The man said he thought it was probably kids in the neighborhood messing around because they didn't have any problems with anyone.
Man reportedly taped as he moons police
When officers asked a man for his identification, a 35-year-old man yelled, "You want to see my ID?" then tossed objects from his pockets, unbuckled his belt, dropped his trousers and lowered his underwear, according to a Charleston police report. And it was all captured on videotape, the report says.
The report says an officer patrolling in the Market Area Nov. 11 saw a "very agitated" man who yelled to the officer that he wanted to talk to him. The man became "verbally abusive," however, which drew a crowd, and the man tried to walk away when the officer approached, the report states.
The purported exposure took place after a second officer arrived in a vehicle with a video camera running, and captured events on tape, the report states. Police charged the man with indecent exposure and booked him into the Charleston County Detention Center, the report says.
'Supernatural' blamed for odd home events
Supernatural powers were cited by a North Charleston woman concerning strange incidents she said happened at her home.
A Dorchester County sheriff's deputy responded Aug. 21 to a reported possible burglary. His report states a 39-year-old woman told of numerous unexplained incidents. He followed her into the master bathroom, where she pointed to the electrical wall outlet over the sink and said that outlet had somehow been switched with the outlet from the upstairs bathroom, the report says.
Asked who she thought the perpetrator might be, the woman looked at the officer with "a concerned smile on her face and stated, 'I don't think it's someone,' as if to suggest that paranormal activity was occurring in her residence," the report reads.
Asked what she meant by the statement, the woman just shook her head and advised the officer she would call back if any other strange events occur. The officer reported that he saw no signs of forced entry or tampering with the exterior of the home.
Sidewalk sleeper invokes the 'Fifth'
An allegedly intoxicated man who police said was sleeping on a sidewalk invoked his "Fifth Amendment" rights when asked to explain what he was doing there, a Charleston police report says.
According to the report, the man was face up on a sidewalk in The Battery area and was heard to moan, "Help me."
The man had a strong odor of alcohol and was helped to a nearby bench, the report says.
The man seemed to have no injuries and reportedly answered "Fifth Amendment" to police questions. The 26-year-old man had a wallet and ID on him and eventually said he was staying with a girlfriend at a downtown home, according to the report.
There was no answer at the door when police knocked, according to the report. The man was charged with disorderly conduct, the report says.
Tourist runs out of gas, loses, then finds car
A tourist temporarily lost his rental car after running out of gas in a Mount Pleasant subdivision, according to a police report.
The man, a visitor from Germany, said he decided to take a drive down Rifle Range Road and drove through residential neighborhoods to look at nice homes when he ran out of gas in the middle of a road June 19, a report says.
A resident stopped and helped the 65-year-old German push the car out of the way and then gave him a ride to the home where he was staying. The man waited for his family to arrive. When they returned, the report says, he couldn't remember exactly where he had left the car and called Mount Pleasant police.
Police tried to find the car but could not. The man called police later that day and said he had found it, a report states.
Man tells police pants were lost in pluff mud
A man found lying in a yard minus his pants told police that he lost them in the pluff mud while running from robbers who jumped from a white truck, according to a report.
Police found the 27-year-old just before midnight. He was sweating and wearing a T-shirt and boxer shorts, a report states.
When police asked him what happened, he said he had been dropped off near an apartment complex, where he planned to meet a roommate for a ride home, but he couldn't find him so he decided to walk back to his house.
While the man was walking, he said, three people riding in a truck pulled up next to him and the two passengers got out and chased him into the woods. Then all three men caught him and pushed him to the ground and started punching and kicking him, he told police.
They emptied his pockets and looked through his wallet, he told police. They took $100 from him and left. He said he eventually got up, grabbed his wallet and started running. He said he stopped when he reached the home he was lying in front of.
A woman living in the home told police that she heard someone screaming outside and looked out the window and saw the man running back and forth on the street in front of her house, the report states. She opened her front door and asked if he was OK. He told her that he wasn't, so she asked him if she should call 911 and he said yes.
EMS tended to the man and found only superficial scratches on him, a report states. He complained of injuries to his head and back from reportedly being kicked.
The man was taken to a hospital. Police searched the area where the man said the attack took place but could find no evidence of a fight nor the man's pants.
Oops! Woman says obscene mails a mistake
A woman reportedly was embarrassed after sending revealing picture mail text messages to another woman by mistake.
A 51-year-old woman told Mount Pleasant police she had received obscene picture mails, all of the same woman. According to the report, she received five text messages between midnight and 6 a.m. Each one included a photo of the woman in various clothes, or with none, with a suggestive message.
The officer called the number the messages came from, and a 29-year-old woman answered and said she had intended to send the messages to a male friend, but had accidentally transposed the last two digits of his phone number, the report states. The woman "was very apologetic and embarrassed about the whole situation."
The officer told the woman about the law regarding such pictures and told the receiver that she had a right to press charges, but she refused, the report states.
Police: Plan to share foiled by bike stop
"I have two bags of weed and I am taking one to a friend," a bicyclist stopped in downtown reportedly told a Charleston police officer.
A report states that on Jan. 12 a patrolling officer was forced to swerve when the bicyclist ran a stop sign. The officer turned on his blue lights, stopped the bike and questioned the rider, who appeared nervous, according to the report. When the officer asked about a bulge in the man's clothing, he stated it was a cigarette pack, and when asked what was in the pack, he replied, "It contains my weed," the report says.
The man was charged with possession of marijuana with intent to distribute and possession of marijuana with intent to distribute in proximity of a school, and was issued a citation for failing to stop for a stop sign.
Bovine invasion no bull, man says
The Charleston County Sheriff's Office was told about evidence that proves a Hollywood lot is being invaded by cattle. A complainant told deputies Jan. 15 that he "discovered numerous mounds of bovine feces on his property," the report states.
A deputy who responded found no sign of damage to a fence bordering the property, so it's "unknown how the livestock entered," the report says. The property owner was advised that the incident is a civil matter, the report says.
Jessica Miller and Almar Flotildes contributed to this report.