Personally, I'm not a big fan of England's royal family.

But there's a wedding Friday that's caught the world's attention and the hoopla is hard to ignore.

Prince William, the eldest son of Prince Charles and the late Princess Diana, will take a bride, and the world is agog with royal wonderment about the blessed event.

The groom, of course, is young and handsome while the bride, Kate Middleton, couldn't be more beautiful.

It is, by all accounts, an affair that feeds the fairy tale in us all. At least some of us.

Somehow that dust didn't fall on me. I've never quite understood what all the royal fuss was about.

Royal names

First of all, who are these people who don't even use their last names?

That alone puts them in the entertainment class with Elvis, Cher, Sting and Festus. And if you know anything at all about their history, you know they pretty much gained their royal status and tremendous wealth through centuries of tyranny against commoners.

The very concept that some people are born better than everybody else with royal blood pulsing through their veins is ridiculous and goes against everything red-blooded Americans believe in.

We even fought a long and rather bloody war of independence to rid ourselves of these arrogant, demanding, presumptuous, overbearing people.

But that was long ago.

In modern times, we've been buddy-buddy with Great Britain. We joined together to free the world from the Nazi plague and fought the Communists and other tin-pot dictators around the world, except of course, the ones we needed.

We are, indeed, two countries separated by a common language.

Real world

But not since Prince Charles wed Diana in 1981 has America run completely amok with our emotions when it comes to all this royalty stuff.

And, if you recall, that one didn't work out so well.

After fulfilling her duties by producing heirs to the throne, Diana ditched the big-eared boy and dashed about the globe with various millionaires, paparazzi in tow, until her untimely death.

Not until then, I suppose, did we glimpse the true depth of global emotion that surrounded this stranger-than-fiction soap opera known as royalty.

While I remain convinced they are irrelevant and completely unnecessary, I actually find myself feeling sorry for them.

How awful their lives must be, having to overdress for every occasion and pretend to be some sort of divine entity when, in fact, they would probably rather be almost anywhere else at the time.

Meanwhile, their every tomorrow promises to be just like every yesterday, only worse.

So, for the millions of commoners caught up in this pompous circumstance, remember, we are the lucky ones. When it's all over, we can return to the real world. They can't.

Reach Ken Burger at 937-5598 or on Twitter at @Ken_Burger.