Ask someone if they know a clean joke and wait for the blank stare. In case you don't, here are a few to fill that hole in your education.
--A turtle was crossing the road when he was mugged by three snails. When the cops arrived and asked the turtle what happened, he rubbed his head and said, "I don't know, man, everything happened so fast!"
--Every day a man came into a bar and ordered three beers and drank them down. When the bartender asked why, he said he was drinking two more in honor of his brothers back in Ireland. One day, he came in and only ordered two beers. The bartender solemnly asked if something terrible happened. The man said, "Yes, I quit drinking."
--A bank robber's mask fell off during a holdup, and he asked a customer if he saw what happened. The man said yes, and the robber shot him dead. Then he asked a woman in line the same question, and she said, "No, but my husband saw it all."
--What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt.
--Why was the 10 so scared? Because 789.
Call for backup
--An old man driving a red Corvette was pulled over by a Florida state trooper for speeding. The trooper told the old man he'd have to come up with a story he'd never heard or he was going to jail. The old man said his ex-wife had run off with a Florida state trooper 20 years earlier, and he was afraid the officer was trying to bring her back.
--A teacher asked her class if they knew where God lived. One little girl said he lived in the bathroom. When asked why, she said her father went to the bathroom door every morning and said, "My God, are you still in there?"
--A police recruit was asked during his final exam what he would do if he had to arrest his own mother. He answered, "Call for backup."
--A lady named her dogs Rolex and Timex because they were watch dogs.
--What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
--Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.
--A rookie cop pulls over an old lady who declares she has a body in the trunk, a gun under her seat and no driver's license. The rattled rookie calls his sergeant. When he arrives, the old lady says "I bet that lying young officer told you I had a dead body in the trunk, a gun under my seat, no driver's license and that I was speeding!"