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Rant and Rave: To the Twitter Thugs

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Views expressed are those of our readers, not us. Need to get something off your chest? Leave a message with your rant or rave at 765-0707 ext. 126 or email RANTandRAVE@free-times.com. Submissions will be edited for length and spelling but not grammar. Please limit emailed submissions to 100 words.


I respectfully submit my rant: To the Twitter Thugs and Keyboard Warriors, before you “dunk” on that person with your woke tweet that includes vocabulary you never use in real life, please ask yourself, “Would I say this to their face?” If not, hit delete.

This is the most magnificent rave for all these beautiful ladies’ legs that come out in short shorts in spring and summer. A rave to beautiful women’s legs.

I told my wife I got hit in the head the other day with a cola. She said, “Well, at least it was a soft drink.”

To be honest about it, people looting stores does more to promote racism than anything the KKK could do or say.

The Turtle says to those knuckleheads out there who refuse to wear a mask or keep your distance from one another, please be considerate of others and not be so damn selfish.

If you don’t want to read God’s word and try to walk in it, don’t want to give Him his tithes, don’t want to talk to Him on your knees sometimes, God can show you how he can just shut it down. It all belongs to Him.

I just got back from a trip from Columbia to Charleston and back. The speeders are out in full force. You have to go 85-95 miles per hour on I-26 to keep from getting run over. I didn’t see a single highway patrolman. Not one patrol car to pull these lunatics.

Instead of us flattening the curve, it looks like the curve is flattening us. Thanks, Henry. Thanks, Donald. Good job.

The sycophantic relationship Chris Trainor has with every Democratic politician willing to look in his direction is sad, but his obsessive fanboy stalking of Steve Benjamin is actually disturbing. We get it, you want to be his pal but aren’t you supposed to be a journalist of some kind?

I love my wife but this is TOO much time together! Come on, vaccine!

It is interesting to note that of the sates most affected by the coronavirus, of the top 25, 15 of them are red states. My opinion is right-wingers listen to politicians instead of scientists. Save your life. Vote blue.

Defund the police! You know, the same police that searched trash dumps tirelessly for Nevaeh, or the same police trying to bring justice for Knowledge Sims. Let’s just have vigilantes?

By the time this cop who lives in Springdale turned left on Rainbow Drive and passed me on my morning walk, he was doing in excess of 60 mph in a 35 mph zone, and was so close to me I could have touched the car without ever extending my arm. Police who thumb their noses at laws they are supposed to uphold make me agree that, yes, we need to defund the police and stop taking my taxes for the department that funds this officer.

The waitress said, “Welcome, to our restaurant. Do you have any reservations?” I said, “No, I’m pretty sure I want to eat here.”

Masks, masks, masks. I really long for the day when I wanted people to wear bags over their heads.

The largest war in history? Afghanistan? Wrong. Look in history. How long have the Kurds been fighting for their freedom.

So, they have a so-called injection for a cure to the coronavirus in Europe. And Big Pharma does it again. Yay! Now watch it be expensive.

If you think the Taliban has forgotten about Osama bin Laden, think again. If you think the Taliban is going to turn down a bounty to kill an America soldier, think again.

Apparently, a whole bunch of Trump supporters went to Mount Rushmore. If they wanted to go to Mount Rushmore with no masks on and stand side by side, then let them be.

I’ve been in quarantine for so long, me and my family came up with a quarantine Olympics. Yeah.

Hey folks, I just saw Lindsey Graham on TV. Sometimes you can just learn something from someone’s face. I looked at his face and I can see what Donald Trump has done to him.

I wonder how long it is going to take for the buffets to really come back, like Golden Corral.

South Carolinians are always going to be white trash. Switzerland was a great country to grow up in.

When I get up in the morning, I look to see if I’m in the obituaries. If I’m not, I continue my day.

My nickname is Sheriff. It was given to me by a 100-year-old man many years ago. I’m getting ready to go into retirement. I just want everybody to pray for me, so I can know what my next mission is. Take care of yourselves.

I used to know a chick who would cuss early in the morning at the nurse’s station at Providence. It would get your attention.

If you think our dear president gives a f#!k about your kids’ education, you think that over.

I left a message last week and y’all didn’t print it. Trump is the best thing we’ve ever had as a president. I think all of y’all at Rant and Rave are Democrats.

One of my friends has a phonebook. I didn’t know they still made phonebooks.

So, it looks like former SC Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer just got Trump to appoint him U.S. ambassador to the vacation destination Belize. While running for SC Governor in 2010, Bauer compared those on government assistance as “stray animals”. Now, look at the newest “stray animal,” living in luxury in Belize off of American taxpayers!

Trump just can’t stop stepping in dog poop. He goes and appoints Andre Bauer ambassador to Belize. Bauer is a world class jerk and one of his best friends is Thomas Ravenel. Ravenel was sentenced to ten months in prison for purchasing cocaine.

President Trump takes the work of artists and uses it without their permission. Don’t bother suing him over it. Your lawsuit will get in line behind the thousands of others against Don the Con.

I just discovered there is an anti-Democrat Party. See, that’s what’s wrong with people today. Hypothetically, how about if it was positively proven beyond any doubt that the Democratic Party would solve our problems, you would still vote against it. Open your little pea brains. We are in trouble and it’s coming from the right.

I wear a mask and have done so since march. But, I was in line with a vociferous man wearing a mask at Dollar General. Doesn’t that make his mask use less safe?

Nicki Haley is popping up again. Noooooooo.

The vile virus has done at least one good deed. It has about wiped out another chronic malady, one that degrades the brain rather than the lungs: spectator sports. I heard one moron on the radio today bemoaning the loss. “Football is the lifeblood of the nation!” he said.

We do not need to DEFUND the police. We need to DISARM the people. Calling all police bad is as discriminatory as saying all people of a group no matter the race are bad. Police the police. Disarm the people.

The Republican TV ads against Jaime Harrison brings forth an interesting point. The ad points out that Harrison is a “liberal Democrat” and he admires Nancy Pelosi. Right wing conservatism is based on dislike. They dislike liberals. They dislike Democrats. They dislike Nancy Pelosi. Harrison’s ads on the other hand say nothing about disliking conservatives, Republicans or Lindsey Graham. His ads tell what he hopes to accomplish.

What’s worse than a skinny proctologist? A meaty urologist. That’s MY first alert.

I sent in four rants last week and they didn’t print any of them. They were ok, but mostly the paper was packed full of Trump haters and I guess there wasn’t room.

When do four plastic rings cost $10,000? When it’s on the front of a souped-up Volkswagen.

Here’s to you kid. We’ll always have Yesterdays. Thank you, Duncan, Scotty, and Darrell for making the dream come true.

Rave for the SC State fair for recognizing the COVID virus being a hoax. Too bad the Greek Festival did not see it. Sucks for them. SC State Fair, I do not plan on signing a COVID liability waiver to attend. Gamecocks and Tigers, I expect to see football.

Governor Henry McMaster is looking like a fine gentleman with those waves in his hair. Let’s encourage that.

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