Adam and Eve

Old Testament|1. Pentateuch (Genesis–Deuteronomy)|Creation (Genesis 1–2)

It just came to me while I was reading: If Adam and Eve had not sinned, none of us would be wearing clothes.

U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley just outfoxed the blinders-wearing Stable Genius. He never saw it coming, but he will.

Sling TV advertisements are in extremely poor taste. I am not against poor taste, in fact, I enjoy poor taste, but Sling goes a bit over the top for public, daytime TV. I know some advertising person thinks mistaking “sling” for “swing” is just clever as hell, but I would not want to explain it to my young children.

As a, recovering, 54-year-old hip-hop head, since discovering that that s#!t was and is psychological warfare against us, I've been listening to 102.3 and that shit ROCKS! Where can I go to hear, predominately, the music they play on their station? Thanks, Columbia for your responses.

An old school, that’s how you do it rave for Rev. J. Steed. Thanks for seeing that something must have been going on with my father, to let his lawn get out of hand and STEPPING up, UNASKED to start cutting it yourself.  Thanks for being the definition of a neighbor. THANK YOU, Rev. J. Steed!

Here's a rave for two for lunch. It's a date for Kanye and Donnie. Both stable geniuses, it's a natural match. You can tell a man's character by the company he keeps. Yeah. 

Hey I've got a mother and a daughter — that makes me an expert on women's issues! I've never held office, and lost embarrassingly to our incumbent congressman, but I'm qualified to run for Senate! My platform: "All me, all the time!" And did I mention that I have a daughter, and a mother?

To the restaurant owner who unfortunately is closing one of his places this month: Perhaps if you did not vilify people who are different than you, those people would have been more amenable to come spend $12 for your Chef Boyardee on a plate. You shouldn't have been so selfish.  

It is the highest court of our land. Let's impeach Brett K. The SCOTUS can only be diminished by having that crybaby on it. 

I went to see an acclaimed first-run movie at the theater. It would have been more enjoyable if most sentences in the script had deleted the F-word.  F this. F that. F the other thing. All I can say is F you. I won't go to any more of your flicks. 

“I don't mess with that FOOLBOOK.” But your thirsty ass is on it using messenger. A liar. Bakers Bar bum. It's coming to you, and I’m gonna watch. Blocking me from a social media outlet you swore you would NEVER be a part of won’t change your karma.

Here's a rave for me as I wear whatever I want to our revolution. Why should I wear a bra? Why don't YOU wear some stupid contraption to hold up your pair?

Once they get this Supreme Court together, you can take big scissors and cut little holes in your Constitution.

I’ve been around a long time and seen many things, but nothing like Lindsey “Loser” Graham.

All this political jibber-jabber is meaningless. The reason? Republicans have already rigged the next election to put their dictator in charge.

One thing I’ve garnered from these Senate hearings on the Supreme Court nominee is, boy, it sure must not take much to get a doctorate in psychology.

If you were disqualified from voting by being mentally ill, the Democrats wouldn’t get many votes.

This is The Weasel looking at you. Jeff Sessions, you better watch your ass, man. Somebody in South Carolina is bucking for your job. Lindsey Graham, you are the mother#!ker who is bucking for that man’s job. Lindsey, let me give you some advice: Next time you throw the damn brick, don’t hide your hand.

I went to the Irmo Okra Strut. My favorite food was the okra egg rolls.

Hi, I’m curious. In your Sound Off headline [Sept. 26] “McMaster Prematurely Evacuated,” should that have said he “ejaculated” or did you mean he s#!t his pants?

Hey people, don’t get it twisted. He said it would take time after Bush. Jobs, the economy. We are living in the limelight of former President Barack Obama. Thank you.

In my humble and simple opinion, two of the biggest heroes in our time have been the senators from Arizona, McCain and Flake.

Two uniformed officers knock on your door to ask if the cars parked at your home belong to visitors, and, if so, how long will those visitors be in town? Nazi Germany in the 1940s? No, 21st century Irmo Police. Knock, knock.

Yeah, I’m watching the Clemson-Syracuse game. I totally agree with the sports announcer that Kelly Bryant did a very selfish thing when he decided to transfer. He was not looking out for Clemson’s best interests.

The China Buffet on Garners Ferry Road, next to the Gamecock Bi-Lo, has Nationwide on its side.

I kid you not, when I was driving down Assembly, I saw Slender Man using a weed whacker. Who’s Columbia employing nowadays?

I saw Ric Flair at a football game. He lost his “wooo.”

My friend is from Wisconsin. He doesn’t know how to eat Southern boiled peanuts.

Tell me, what is there to celebrate about the Southern culture? Stupidity? Laziness? Diabetes? Bugs? Bad weather? Slavery?

A dirty little secret, a dirty little lie.

Mr. Graham, I am ashamed of your behavior.

God won’t tear you down by building you up. The truth is God loves you.

Hi, I was watching a Jenny Craig commercial, and what struck me odd about it is the three ladies they had in the commercial. One was a real estate broker. The second was an attorney. The third was an opera singer. Why couldn’t they have a stay-at-home mom or a school teacher?

Am I the only one to see the sad irony in the Irmo fried-in-fat-and-grease Okra Strut?

The USC football team lost to Kentucky. The Chicken Curse lives on.

When I was a kid, I went to school in Switzerland. I love the Swiss. They’d say, “Americans aren’t that smart.” It makes me laugh now, still. We have a five-deferment president who wants a military parade. You’ve got to love the Swiss. I still respect them and I miss them.

Has the Forest Acres Police Department checked the VIN number and registration on the race car at Richland Mall?

A church that’s liberal is like a bar that doesn’t serve alcohol. Why bother?

So, you can’t drive a taxi in the City of Columbia until you take a hospitality class. But you can drive for Uber without taking a hospitality class. I don’t call that very damn hospitable.

Yes, I believe there should be an investigation on Congress, to see how many women they have badgered or sexually assaulted.

[The sounds of dogs barking. Caller hangs up.]

What shoes does a Gamecock proudly wear? Keds.

Here comes the judge.

Mike Ditka enjoys what he is doing. He must have been a drill sergeant.

Tomb is pronounced “toom.” Womb is pronounced “woom.” Why isn’t bomb pronounced “boom?”

Lazy: It’s a South Carolina state of mind.

I finally figured out how to be radical, too, after every week of Trump-hating in your paper, with the economy doing great. Yet your paper hates Trump. Multiple hate every week. Therefore, I’ll hate, too. I want to hate, too. So, I will grab at least five pounds of **Free Times** papers at the grocery store, and dispose of them in the trash every week until you stop it. Damn, now I’m an activist.

Man, I tell you one thing, that clown John Wayne Gacy had a killer smile.

My heart goes out to the families who were wounded, and the one officer who was shot and killed. The suspect should be put in jail for the rest of his life or sent the electric chair.

It was C.J. Fuller. Not C.J. Spiller. Get it right, people.

This is about Lindsey Graham. He put down all of us Southern states, especially South Carolina. And he’s our representative? I think he needs to be out and put to pasture.

Someone should take a bucket of rocks to the committee that investigated Kavanaugh and tell them that he without sin should cast the first stone.

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