gas pumps

You know, I just saw where the price of gas went up 30 cents overnight. It’s not even a holiday. The holidays are over with. What the f#!k? When is somebody going to do something about this crap?

I guess we better get ready to go back to Africa, then, according to the president. We were brought here illegally.

Hey folks, I love Rant and Rave. That person who said they were 7-foot tall and bulletproof [July 19], did they have five deferments also, and do they support President Trump’s five deferments? Thank you.

My friend is faster than a fan in a toupee factory.

If you believe what the WLTX people are saying in their “Morning Mantra” commercials, they’re really important. Someone should tell them they’re just doing bad local TV.

The Taste Buds got me a Village Idiot Pizza T-shirt. It said, “What if I am an idiot?”

Treat me with respect, for no heart in the entire world is more loyal than the heart of an American soldier.

How thoughtful of the South Carolina Department of Corrections to move the men on death row to a facility where they can have more time to socialize. The victims should really get the same considerations, but it’s kind of hard to socialize when you are sealed in a coffin.

Progressives announced new plan to avoid confusion about preferred pronouns by addressing everyone as “comrade.”

Seems to me the Rant line has gotten pretty one-sided. If you call in criticizing Trump, you get in every time. If you call in criticizing the Democrats or liberals, it never shows up. That’s interesting.

Hitler and Trump couldn’t get p#!sy unless they paid for it. I don’t know, do you learn that from your mom or your dad? That’s what I wanted to say. Somewhere these boys learned that they needed to pay for a girlfriend.

[In reference to Rant and Rave, July 12] Aw, poor baby. Was that damaging for you to read that I don’t think you deserve reparations? Wow, sensitive much? Besides, you’ve been getting reparations for 50 years.

I’d like to thank all the hospitals throughout the state that have the courtesy valet parking, as well as offering every person who comes through the hospital a newspaper. Thank you.

Hey, if Congress passes a joint resolution, does that mean we can resolve to pass the joints?

We have become a country full of leeches. And our victims: The poor.

The American duchess over there in the UK, goes out in public wearing torn jeans and messy hair. American duchess, that is not how it is done!

I went to a Thai restaurant. I really tied one on.

Nothing against Chick-fil-A, but they are largely responsible for the traffic jams on Harbison Boulevard. I wish they would relocate to another location on Harbison or reconfigure their parking and drive-through.

When I try to dance, I have the stank leg.

Has anyone noticed that it is always easier to get people to hate than it is to get people to understand and accept. Hitler, Mussolini and Tojo are examples. Does anyone see a parallel to our current leadership?

They say there’s a day for everything. Recently we had National Tape Measure Day.

The zombies are out again — “Trump’s tweet racist! Trump’s tweet racist!” OK, y’all here’s the real news. Due to global warming, there is an endless worldwide famine in our future. We are headed over the falls of global warming feedback loops no turning back now. Not millions, but billions of people will flee the tropics and low-lying areas. The next century will be the century from hell.

I can’t wait for high school and college football games to start. Teamwork makes the dream work.

Can you imagine the b#!ching and whining from the right-wingers if Hillary had won? Doesn’t matter that the country would have been better off.

My wife went to KFC and bought me one of those chicken sandwiches with Cheetos on it.

I have a fungal infection. I live in the white, conservative south.  

My neighbor cuts the grass early in the morning. Roosters say, “What the hell?”

Former drug kingpin and prison escape artist El Chapo Guzman got sent to the Supermax prison in Colorado. It will be fascinating to see how El Chapo becomes the first inmate to get out of Supermax. He’ll probably jump into a trash can and leave in a van.

Yes, we have a mess in Irmo, along Columbiana Drive. We’ve got weeds along the roadway four-feet high. Nobody is maintaining it. I don’t know who’s responsible, if it’s the Town of Irmo or the City of Columbia. But somebody needs to go in there and clean up those weeds and grass that are out of control. It’s the biggest mess you’ve ever seen.

The police are out of control with their policies regarding car chases. Put a unit at each end of a license check to intercept people who don’t want to stop. Don’t chase them on a minor infraction until they get killed, or their car ends up on top of someone who is leaving their house. Cops seem to get a thrill from needless pursuits.

The shameful way the new USC president was bullied into office makes me an ex-Gamecock fan. The State House has no business choosing a candidate, let alone strongarming the board to choose a Trump crony.

I don’t care who you are, if you are young and loud and passionate, that does not mean you are correct in your opinion.

When someone tells me they are an emotional person, what they are really saying is they are an immature person.

There were some people standing on the side of the road bumming money. I offered one of the men $25 for an hour and a half of work cutting my grass, and that I’d furnish the lawnmower and bring him back. He refused and said he could make more than that in an hour just standing there. Everybody needs to quit giving these jokers money. If you buy them food they won’t eat it.

It’s been three months since the horrific tragedy that happened to Samantha Josephson, and nothing has been done. The rideshares are no more safe. They have little pieces of paper in their windows to make them safer. That’s not making anybody safer. How come the City of Columbia hasn’t done anything? How come nobody has done anything?

What do you call little Gamecocks? Gameweewees.

Say “no” to kale.

The four women of Congress who are called The Squad should be called The Squat, because they haven’t done squat for the American people.

Love your enemies, and remember: God said, “Vengeance is mine.”

This is BG, the Blind Guy. Remember, bad times can be good times. Good times can be hard times. But all times are the best times. See you, Commissioner Kirby, from the Commission for the Blind.

This is Figaro. You know why women have legs? So they can leave.

Hey folks, I want to chat. My neighbors are Trump supporters, they wear the red hats and all that. They are selling their house. Somebody came by to look at the house and I was in the front yard. I asked that gentleman, “Did they tell you there was a three-alarm fire at their house in the past?” They said, “No, no one said anything about a fire at the house.” I think they lost that guy’s business.

I watched President Trump in Greenville N.C. and it’s disgusting. I stand by America not politics, human decency is for humans. But that mob wasn’t human. I think John McCain was a good patriot. He had a good name McCain, like Lucas McCain, a man that stood strong for what he believed in. Fictional yes, but a better example than Lindsey Graham or anyone in the Republican Party in this reality.

Since Trump became president, America’s promises mean nothing. Our country’s honor, integrity, and honesty have been destroyed. The world knows the U.S. can no longer be trusted. We have lost our claim to being a world leader for democracy, peace, and justice. The harm Trump, and his enablers, have done may take generations to repair, or worse, it may be irreparable.

When you live in a society where anything goes, everything will.

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