No puking sign

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My life is ruined. I barf every night. Please pray for me. I need it.

I don't want to share your vanilla vape cloud with you! And if you were using that thing correctly there wouldn't be any cloud at all.

One day they make you a legend. The next day they take it back.

All McDonald’s do not change their grease regularly enough. The McDonald’s I currently eat at changes its grease regularly.

The Rosewood Crawfish Festival will not be in Rosewood? Hold on a second please. Hahahahahahahahahaha! OK, I'm back.

In reference to my post done earlier today. If you publish it, please remove the word “gut.” You know how iPads are. They slip in a word or two before one can catch it. Sorry for the mistake.

If Obama had just done a fraction of what Trump has done, right wingers would have stormed the White House and tarred and feathered Obama. But if it’s Trump, it’s OK.

According to the news, more people believe Cohen than Trump. That should come as no surprise. More people believe Pinocchio than Trump.

Don't like the fact that poachers in Africa kill an elephant every 15 minutes? Then don't buy ivory!

Shouldn’t a hernia be called a hisnia?

The actress Kristin Davis from Sex in the City turned 54 years old. She’s an A.C. Flora graduate. Happy birthday, Kristin.

R. Kelly's newest hit topping the charts: “I BELIEVE I'VE BEEN F#!KED.”

[In reference to Free Times’ Feb. 20 cover story] We have been going over the theories of how to make it in the Columbia music scene for 30-plus years. There is no answer. You can theorize all you want. The best thing to do, really, is to move out of Columbia. I know that’s a bummer statement, but them’s the facts.

The Oscars didn’t have a host. They didn’t have me as a viewer either.

Hey, when I was a kid I actually went to school in Switzerland, and I’ve seen avalanches and I’ve seen snow 10 feet high. The snowblowers were as big as garbage trucks. But, it’s 64 and sunny in South Carolina, but what the hell, let’s just call it an Alert Day.

I enjoyed watching the 500-mile race from Atlanta. It looked like driving on I-77.

We need more teachers and fewer cops.

Can someone explain to us why the prominent black leaders in Columbia are running to the defense of the Columbia Housing Authority? Two gentlemen just died as a result of living there.

This is my impression of Bradley Cooper as a singer: He’s a pretty good actor.

I’m not the smartest man, but America, y’all better find a way to keep this man inside America. Y’all don’t be letting President 45 get outside America, going to talk to these foreign dignitaries and leaders and stuff. He’s not on that level.

My comment is to the people of Summerville: Please stay out of the garbage. Please stay out of the trash cans and the dumpsters.

Oh yeah, front page news, a billionaire got charged with soliciting prostitution in Florida. Yeah, I’m sure he’s worried about it.

Ric Flair just turned 70. Wooo!

Well, Spike Lee and Donald Trump have at least one thing in common: Both are egotistical assholes.

My friend drives a PT Cruiser with wooden panels on the side. He doesn’t have a girlfriend.

Coming this summer, a Donald Trump film, The Gangs of New York. Rated MS-13.

What really gets me is the police and the powers that be in Florida say they knew about the sex trafficking ring for a year. If that’s true, why didn’t they shut it down a year ago? Think about it.

Most people in the Midlands drive as if they have lived in South Carolina their entire lives. I would like to add, here in the city playing your music very loudly and blowing your horn for someone to come out after 8:00 p.m. is considered bad manners.

I don't know about y'all but I want a New York con man for President of the United States of America in 2020.

What the hell do you mean having sex in a massage parlor is illegal?

It’s a crying shame that you work for someone and you have to use your own cellphone to clock in at work. If you leave it at home you have to go back home and get it or you can’t work. Why don’t they issue them cellphones, that way they don’t have to worry about their own personal cellphone? Now they’ve got an excuse if they don’t bring their cellphone with them.

What’s on my mind is how stupid the damn state of South Carolina can be. Instead of paving a whole road, they are sitting here patching s#!t. What happened to all the money? Somebody has to give a damn answer to this.

South Carolina, America, know that a sober mind accomplishes more than a drunk and a high mind. What is wrong with y’all?

The South Carolina state motto — “While I breathe, I hope” — I’ve never been a fan of it. But after watching this SCE&G nuclear debacle it is beginning to make sense.

I saw where we have this plastic in our drinking water. So, what are people going to go do? Buy more plastic bottled water. This is craziness and it’s a cycle.

My wife called the Korean help line at AT&T. A Filipino guy answered.

Everybody, I mean everybody, whether you believe God created the world or whether you believe it was just a big bang and we just all happened, we know one thing: It made all of us. Shouldn’t we reach out and teach each other without having to put each other through pain.

Life is too short, and it ain’t promised to none of us.

The Carolina Panthers released my favorite player, Captain Munnerlyn.

President 45, just based off where they are located at, I hope you realize Russia and North Korea are neighbors.

The three best artists of 2019 are women.

Seems like nowadays everybody wants to rag on Preach and his Crime Blotter. But the issue from Feb. 27, the Tip of the Week, that was good stuff. That is really great. You go, man.

Females are getting harassed, but there needs to be some common sense.

I hate Columbia drivers and I hate it when you’ve got brake distance between you and the car in front of you and some jackass whips in there like you were saving it for him. F#!k no, that’s my brake space, b#!ch.

I am the Lord of creation and history.

Man, I’m angry. It just took me three minutes to fry a minute steak.

Benjamin Netanyahu, President Trump, Solicitor Johnson. You tell me, is greed the number one deadly sin or are people really this stupid.

It's kinda scary how bad the sex ed is here. Schools legally can't talk about any sexual relationships besides heterosexual ones UNLESS it's about STDs. They can't even talk about sex outside of marriage or for making kids.

Please, for the love of God, put strokes (borders) on your photos AND your advertisements. I know they send them in without strokes, but those of us in publishing know you MUST put a border on it. If ya like it, put a stroke on it. A 0.5 stroke will suffice.

I have survived presidents since after WWII. None has ever revolted nor disgusted me like the current pile of dung currently occupying the White House. But the one thing that I have the most disgust for is a f#!king draft dodger. Especially when the POS in question claims to be a patriot. Few of us back then were not looking forward to going to war, but we did it because it was our duty.

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