We Met Billy Gibbons at the Airport, Confirming He Will Play in Cayce Sunday

 

Views expressed are those of our readers, not us. Need to get something off your chest? Leave a message with your rant or rave at 765-0707 ext. 126 or email RANTandRAVE@free-times.com. Submissions will be edited for length and spelling but not grammar. Please limit emailed submissions to 100 words.


I have to rave about beards. These are mighty fine days with beards in fashion. They are mostly great and distinguished and classy and handsome. If you are a guy with a red beard, it’s a double rave for you.

We want to thank the City of Columbia for allowing people with handicapped parking permits to park at any parking meter, free of charge. Thank you and well done!

Have you noticed that 90% of the new 2019 SC license tags have a “Q” in them? What is the government trying to tell us? — Chuck

WLTY-FM radio does not have a DJ. Maybe they should. Yeah.

The rap artist MC Hammer is 57 years old. You can’t touch this.

I am responding to the person who said “I am not a racist but when you do stupid things you get stupid results … I’m trying to help y’all understand some things.” (Rant and Rave, March 27) I’m assuming that “y’all” means black people? My response is you have people doing stupid things in all races — black, white, Hispanic, Chinese. Ma’am or sir, you are racist. Stupidity comes in all colors, shapes and sizes, and your rant was very stupid.

I want to give a shout out to all the friends of the river and my brother Squirrel, who was the Mayor of Three Rivers. What a great day it was. We memorialized him down at his beloved river. For all the people that came, when a cowboy trades his spurs in for angels’ wings, it’s nice to be there with his friends. God bless you, Squirrel.

OK, Kilbourne next to the Piggly Wiggly has been closed for weeks. Get this thing back open!

Hey, buddy buddy.

Hello, Bob, is that you, Bob? Hey Bob, you know who you are, Bob.

I want my daddy’s records.

Why do people throw beer cans and other trash along our roadways? Is it a lack of garbage cans? Are they just too f#!king lazy to find a garbage can? Obviously they don’t give a rat’s ass about the environment or the harm they can do to wildlife. Not to mention how “trashy” it makes South Carolina look.

Yup, if I go to Los Angeles or New York City I see that our country seems full. If I go to many, many other places, I see that there is plenty of room in our country. If you want to keep people away, at least keep it real. Yeah.

Let’s talk about things people who live in Orangeburg don’t have. Starbucks. Let that sink in, people.

The most deadly force on the earth is religion. The most deadly force in the USA is conservatism.

Is it just me or does Attorney General Barr not look like the old cartoon character HR Pufnstuf? If you don’t know the cartoon, please Google and then hold your sides and don’t be taking a big drink of coffee.

A few examples of how stupid marketers are: If you are on the telephone with one and he or she sounds extremely thrilled, very smiley and too friendly, hang up immediately. It is a scam. Marketers actually think those actions make you more likely to commit your money. Wrong! Another sign is this question, “How does that sound?” It sounds like you are whistling up my ass.

It’s especially a joy paying the IRS this year knowing that the filthy rich folks got a federal tax cut and the rest of us DID NOT.

Why are y’all injecting your faces with junk that makes your mouth look like a butthole with hemorrhoids?

In response to the citizen who was so concerned about underprivileged mothers letting their children “run wild” (Rant and Rave, April 3): Do you share the same concern when overprivileged mothers let their entitled children “run wild” in the same situations?

Get well soon, Mick Jagger!  

The people that run City Roots couldn’t farm their way out of a compost pile. 

Over the years I have lived in different states as well as overseas, but I have come to realize the differences in customer service being an African American here in Columbia. I can never order the cocktail I enjoy. That drink is cognac, a nationally sold liquor no more expensive than Ketel One or any Scotch among brands sold, but not one bottle out of the 30 brands do you have behind the bar. What we hear is “it’s too expensive,” but you have Jack Daniels. The message you are sending to me and all other cognac consumers is that you really don’t want my business. I can promise if you start to carry these brands instead of excluding them and us, they will sell.

Whether a computer or phone is involved or not, gossip is still gossip and everybody knows better.

Transplants from northern urban areas should have to have their auto horns disconnected for at least three years, to get them out of the habit, to civilize them, to enforce some unfamiliar manners.

Yes, I can see how throwing bricks justifies the use of deadly force. I hope your relative recovered more quickly than the dead. Thanks for enlightening us.

Isn’t it time to clean up Five Points? Do they really need 44 bars?

The reason the urinals are so high is to keep all you short s#!ts on your toes.

I know you’re tired of hearing this, but I went to Switzerland when I was a kid. You had to speak French at lunch. You had to behave. You had to go to church. We also studied Sigmund Freud. He was Swiss. This Dominion thing. The legislature loves a lot of not-so-smart kids.

How do you tell a dogwood tree? By its bark. [bark]

Hey, test test test test. This is Chris, bye.

Isn’t it amazing after a horrible tragedy that everybody wants to jump on the let’s-regulate-Uber-and-Lyft bandwagon. [sighs] Think about it.

Uh, I went to Children’s Law Center. There was a bunch of little kids walking around carrying briefcases.

What the people of South Carolina want from a restaurant is fresh vegetables, not canned vegetables. All canned vegetables contain a lot of pesticides and we are tired of having unfresh food. We are ready for fresh-cut vegetables in our fast food restaurants.

Hey I guess this is a rave. I just want to says thanks. If you want to understand how the Lord works, in the Bose stereo, a CD got stuck on Kenny Chesney’s “Don’t Blink.” It talks about people getting older. But that CD, it’s on right now, you cannot get that thing out of the Bose stereo. I thank the good Lord that CD got stuck in the stereo.

Tug Baker, I don’t know if you know too much about the law. I’m a retired ex-cop. Did you know, young man, that there’s such a thing as public intoxication? So in your “Local Drink News” I hope you’re not encouraging the delinquency of adults and everything like that. You can drink and you can run, but if you drink and run you might fall afoul of the law. I hope you are prepared to pay the bail. Tug Baker, you better be careful about some of the stuff that you write, man.

I just got word from my friend Sheriff Leon Lott. He will again be attending Bark to Park. He will be walking naked through the park again this year. Thank you. I meant to say for those who don’t know, Sheriff Leon Lott has a dog named naked. Thank you.

Rest in peace, Fritz.

This is the Columbia Yeah Guy. Columbia needs to quit growing. It’s big enough. Yeah.

The AAF football league was disbanded after eight games. They showed the highlight reels. It took about a minute.

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