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This is for Ms. Paige who used to be a dental tech for Dr. T.  Where have you gone? This is the Florida Street Fighter and I miss you, pretty lady!

When you are cooking out on the grill and you have to wear an apron, it says, “Kiss the cook.” My dear parents learned to cook in France. Does that mean a French kiss? Yuk, yuk, yuk. Bye.

Alert! WIS has put out another alert! It may be cold in the morning.

Saturday I drove I-20 from Clemson Road to Highway 6. I was doing 70 miles per hour, the speed limit was 60. Cars were passing me like I was sitting still. Some doing 80, 90 or 100 miles per hour.

My wife and I just moved to Blythewood.

This is a rant for XXXXXX. I took my phone to you, it was working. You were supposed to put a battery in it. Got it back, it doesn’t even turn on and you burned it up and act like you didn’t do it.

Bisexual, bipolar, bicameral, bicycle. I’m so sick of things that swing both ways.

What is written in the book of life about your life?

This is for Mike, who comes into the Lizard’s Thicket and sits in my booth every Saturday. If he can’t have an office, maybe he should go sit in the back room. He sits in my booth for three and a half hours, then tips me $2. Does he not know how much money he costs me by sitting there? So, hey, sit in the back room or get an office.

Communication is something we all take for granted.

Marriages are like sharks. Even as you enter into deeper waters, you still have to keep moving.

Right now I don’t have TV service, because I just moved out of Columbia. I miss WIS and WLTX and their news.

My wife wanted to go to the store and buy a table runner. I called USC track coach Curtis Frye and asked, “What the heck is a table runner?”

It’s been pretty chilly this week, but just think how cold it would have been if we didn’t have global warming.

I’m a somewhat liberal person. But when it comes to immigration, I’ve become semi-conservative. Let’s face it. I don’t care if folks come here and get jobs. They aren’t taking jobs. There are plenty of jobs. What they are taking is tax money and services American people need. They are wasting my money.

Another bad thing about the Allen Benedict Court problem is that the Columbia Housing Authority is right across the street from there.

Yes, my rant is for a dear friend of mine who passed away between January 24 and January 25, due to a drug overdose. That’s a sad, sad state of affairs.

When is someone going to fix the gigantic cavernous "pothole" (sinkhole really, several cubic yards, I kid you not) in a lane of Gregg Street near Washington Street. A steel plate has been over it since I reported it THREE YEARS AGO!

Look, Richard craniums: Global warming is real and humans are the major cause. One hundred percent of the world’s countries who have a scientific community agree. 

If, as an employer, one is unable to pay one's full-time employees a wage that affords them their basic costs of living (i.e. rent, utilities, transportation costs back-and-forth to work, clothing expenses, grocery bill, etc.) then one cannot afford the costs of doing business. In Columbia, that equates to around $15 an hour, 40 hours a week. Anything else is exploitation, plain and simple. 

Hey Dominion Energy, I voted for you. WTF is my $1,000? Should have known. LIARS, LIARS.

After hearing Moe Baddourah speak about the Allen Benedict Court problem, the only question I have is where the hell are Larry and Curly?

This state has such stupid people it could not even succeed at secession.

Is it just my vivid imagination or does anyone else think, as I do, that Donald Trump looks like an orangutan?

My friend has a therapy animal. It’s an alligator.

I'm gonna do an interview with News 19 with $20,000 worth of gold teeth and complain about my free housing cause I'm not gonna get a job! WTF is wrong with this picture? 

Fox Undercuts Christian Kingdom.

He had a temper tantrum and shut down the government. It was quite a display and it hurt people. If he decides to start a war, it will be another opportunity for him to dominate the news and be in the spotlight. Is there anyone to stop him?  

Damn, I cannot believe that Manifest closed. Lord, I’ll miss them. But guess what? We’ll still have Scratch N’ Spin. Yay, go Eric!

So, I tuned into WUSC this morning and they are analyzing car ads. Car commercials. What has happened to our youth? The millennials, come on.

So I just watched Marie Kondo's Netflix comedy special Tidying Up. I did not find it funny at all. But oh man it sparked so much joy. 

The Bible says the lame shall enter first. Won't that hold up the line?

I love Preach Jacobs like a brother. But someone needs to tell him that ATM stands for “automated teller machine.” So when he writes about “ATM machines” he’s being superfluous, to say the least. Ciao.

We put a man on the moon. Donald Trump is president. I can’t even get cable run to my house from Spectrum.

Uber and Lyft. Isn’t it amazing how everybody wants to be a taxi driver now? Think about it and have a nice day.

So many men listen to podcasts on the toilet. Maybe they should be called “pot-casts."

I don’t understand refried beans. If you fried them correctly the first time, you wouldn’t have to refry them, right?

We need a pedestrian bridge across the river between Gervais and Blossom Street bridges. Lexington and Richland can split the costs. More folks can walk to school and work cut down on traffic and road rage and fat and air pollution.

Believe me, I will tell you this. Like we've never witnessed before. I could do it, everybody tells me I should just do it. Who, Donald Jr.? I barely knew the guy.

Focus this image in your mind’s eye: Snoopy atop his dog house, doing his vulture routine. Now imagine Trump daydreaming about the health of Justice Ginsburg.

I was driving around the USC campus today and I was thinking to myself, “What did the female students wear before leggings?” Um, is this generation aware of other types of pants or is it strictly a leggings world now? It’s quite fascinating.

Women belong in the house … and senate.

I’ve got a good idea for Trump. If the Saudis think they can get away with doing anything, why don’t we just go over there and take their oil? I know you guys probably won’t print this, but thanks for letting me vent.

Either build or don’t build the wall. After that, it will just be something else.

[To the tune of "Jesus Loves Me"] Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. The Bible says, “Hey, grow a beard,” but I won’t 'cause it looks weird.

I saw a sheriff’s deputy. I said, “Hey, you look like Leon Lott.” He said, “I get that a lot.”

On Groundhog Day I had to do my yearly ritual and watch the movie Caddyshack.

Our current president’s first and middle name are not Donald and John. Little known fact, his first name is Moe and his middle name is Ron.

I view the distracted driving law as a joke. When cellphones came on the scene, it just got worse. We’ve long been dealing with people putting on makeup, doing their hair, playing with the stereo, eating, drinking, one-handed driving or driving with their knees. Now you have people working electronic equipment and they are seriously distracted.

America, y’all better do something about President Trump as far as removing him from office.

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