poop

Views expressed are those of our readers, not us. Need to get something off your chest? Leave a message with your rant or rave at 765-0707 ext. 126 or email RANTandRAVE@free-times.com. Submissions will be edited for length and spelling but not grammar. Please limit emailed submissions to 100 words.


What’s with all these restaurants only serving tilapia for their fish selections? Do you not know that you’re eating fish poop when you eat tilapia? Gross.

No wonder there is so much road rage around the Midlands. I’m driving down a two-lane road, I have a double yellow line, speed limit is 45 and I’m doing 50. Two cars passed me with a double yellow line.

Hey there. Lindsey Graham needs to know that these teachers definitely should strike until they get better money.

Hey, I’m all for a penny gas tax for teachers. These are our children, and they need to be taken care of by our teachers. I do a lot of driving and I spend a lot of money on gas and I’m all for it.

Superintendent of Education Molly Spearman is now a punchline among teachers in South Carolina. This is what happens when you sell your soul to the Republican Party to get elected. She’s now too much of a political shill to be effective. She should pack up and go home.

When the Confederate flag came down, there was a huge turnout. Race relations haven’t improved one damn bit. The teachers rally at the State House had a monumental turnout. And guess what? Education in this state is not going to improve one damn bit.

Why don’t we get rid of all the teachers and have Uber home school them? Hell, they are taking over everything else. Why not that, too?

Oh wait, Cellar on Greene is closing for realsies this time? Guess that “bring us some plywood” sale didn't work out for them.

Regarding the turn signal app comment (Rant and Rave, May 8): For all those who are looking for that app — turn in your license, you idiots! It was written in jest.

Why do some dogs eat poop? It’s their version of the TURD POD CHALLENGE.

Excuse me, did you say you are pro-life? I think you meant pro-birth, since you don't care what happens to children in certain demographics after birth, are working hard to reduce or eliminate social safety nets, see no problems with "minimally adequate" education for children, and support the death penalty.

When driving through Virginia recently, I noted that their new license plates start with V. V for Virginia, get it? So how did we get stuck with Q? Did South Dakota get the S? They have a population under one million people, and we have a population exceeding five million. What genius decided we would be the Q state? Typical.

I saw on the news where former Gov. Nikki Haley is saying she’s going to make Boeing safe again. Maybe she can come back here and do the same thing with Uber. After all, she started all this mess.

Yes, people seem to forget that the Christine Building was a lot like the Chateau Marmont on the Sunset Strip in the late 1970s, as that sort of rock ‘n’ roll dorm set-up. Yes, the Christine Building is very much like Los Angeles’ Chateau Marmont.

Hey, I know you probably aren’t going to like this. But white trash is white trash.

I don’t put too much time, money and effort into having a good yard. I just go buy a Yard of the Month sign.

A couple of my friends can really put some food away. When we go to the Chinese buffet, the owner says, “We’re closed soon.” They say, “It’s only six o’clock.”

I had five wisdom teeth taken out. Yeah, I said five. I lost all my wisdom.

McDonald’s McCafe was probably one of the first coffee shops Columbia ever saw, with their McCafe. You probably don’t want to put a rant about a national chain in your paper. But kudos to all the restaurateurs.

[In reference to “Crawfish Out of Water,” May 1] Kyle Petersen, shame on you. That front page crawfish story, it’s really crayfish and all that. That’s neither here nor there. The title “Crawfish Out of Water,” you shouldn’t have done that. You’re implying that crayfish can’t stay out of water. No, crayfish can stay out of water for a very, very long period of time. Much like an alligator. An alligator can be out of water for long periods of time. So can a crawdad. It doesn’t faze them at all.

Giraffes are becoming an endangered species. Maybe they should quit sticking their necks out.

What our representatives don’t seem to understand is that they represent everyone. Not one percent of blacks and 99 percent of whites. Not 5 percent of Latinos and 95 percent of blacks, but everyone. What they say in private is fine. In public? That’s a different story.

What did the judge say when there was a skunk in the courtroom? “Odor in the court!”

Disney on Ice was at Colonial Life Arena. It was a Mickey Mouse operation.

I listened to Paula Abdul’s greatest hits. That took about four minutes.

When you put the words “the” and “IRS” together, you get the word “theirs.”

George Sink has all these commercials on TV talking about “dial all 9s.” He must not be getting too much business, because now he has billboards everywhere.

I got fired from my job as a Walmart greeter for talking too much.

The City of Columbia is trying to buy the Assembly Street post office. I guess Finlay Park will have even more homeless people hanging around.

I’ve moved around the world so much, they call me Tumbleweed.

If you drive the speed limit on I-26, you will get run over.

Eva Moore is the sexiest woman alive.

If somebody wanted to save me, I could use it right now.

To the person who said we should all support local cab drivers (Rant and Rave, May 8), guess what? We really want to. But there are no cabs waiting at the fountain at Five Points, or the designated safe zone on Saluda, EVER. Try calling and you usually get a recording, or a harried dispatcher who says it will be a 50-minute or more wait. Uber and Lyft will deliver service in five minutes. Beat that, and everyone will happily support regular cabs.

Please add to my most recent submission: And he is a lying piece of scum.

The rule of law is flying out the window while tyranny walks in the door.

Rave to things you can count on in this crazy world. Hey, Lindsey! What are you having for lunch today?? Saaaamwich!

Rump is by far the worst president in history, yet his approval rating is increasing. Just shows how stupid the American voter is. He has set the environment back 40 years. He has made us a laughingstock around the world. He kisses the asses of our enemies and spits in the faces of our best allies. Businessman? His businesses have lost billions. The stock market has become totally unstable. The deficit is skyrocketing. He has not done one positive thing. Not a single piece of legislation. The economy was improving due to Obama’s policies before that clown took office. Rump is a disgrace.

Regarding horn blowing by the honkers from higher latitudes, it is quite understandable three seconds or so after the light turns green and a tweeting twit stopped in front of you still has not looked up and noticed, but it is quite another when a mere half second after the light changes, as it often is.

Instead of worrying about vaping, maybe work on concentrating efforts to patrol high density student, historically high-crime resident areas, so that people don’t get killed. I don’t remember a female student getting raped or killed by picking up the wrong Juul.

It is our deep regret that we have a president who is imposing more and more foreign trade tariffs while making it clear that he DOES NOT UNDERSTAND trade tariffs. He is hurting us. US. USA. US.

We're improving out commenting experience.

We’ve temporarily removed comments from articles while we work on a new and better commenting experience. In the meantime, subscribers are encouraged to join the conversation on our Free Times Facebook page.