Views expressed are those of our readers, not us. Need to get something off your chest? Leave a message with your rant or rave at 765-0707 ext. 126 or email RANTandRAVE@free-times.com. Submissions will be edited for length and spelling but not grammar. Please limit emailed submissions to 100 words.
When the government shuts down, why don’t they stop taking taxes out my check?
What kind of s#!t-for-brains asshole tries to make a U-turn in the middle of Christmas traffic on Harbison Boulevard? Happy f#!king holidays!
OK, you can print “My friend made some kangaroo meat, he felt a little jumpy,” but you can’t do a rave for my friends who cook second shift at Lizard’s Thicket? We deserve better than this crap that you’re printing.
I just called ranting that you didn’t print my rant about Lizard’s Thicket, and then I see it in the paper. I’m so sorry. But please quit printing this other crap that 4- and 5-year-olds would say. Thank you.
Why not get rid of Columbia City Council? Do they do anything?
Hey, I love your paper. I’m a paper reader. My little rescue pup just bit the neighbor’s Great Dane on the nose. Sounded like a person. Now, I’m not pro-biting.
Happy Holidays. My rant and rave is today is Dec. 20 and it is too many black men and women at the courthouse being served for child support. The government is right; we do need to use some type of preventive pregnancy. And we black women need to stop trying to use these men for money only.
As a single white male in Columbia, my question is why is there such a concerted effort by media, whether it’s in the comics or regular newspaper, or even on TV, on having white women in a relationship with a black male? Why do they want to show this all the time? It gripes my butt.
I think someone needs to contact the Guinness world record people, because the merger between SCANA and Dominion Energy has to be the most foreplay ever done before screwing somebody. Thank you.
[loud dinging noise in background] Fix the goddamn roads.
It’s called barbiturates. And it’s f#!king up the whole world. What are y’all doing? Hello.
Is God almighty circumcised? I mean, did he come into being in the singularity circumcised or was there some mohel that came into being to circumcise him?
I heartily concur with what you said about McClatchy and the other media letting their best people like Cindi Ross Scoppe go. (“Our Dumb State,” cover story, Dec. 5) Apparently the motto of these companies is “We don’t care because we don’t have to.”
The new lanes on I-77 are wonderful. Now we need some lane markers you can see. The paint that’s there is all but invisible, especially when it’s wet.
Hey, I’m just curious, but how many news reports do we see about crazed marijuana junkies robbing or stealing or killing?
Every morning I see if my newspaper has my obituary. If it doesn’t, I eat breakfast.
Whatever you got on your mind, I’m about to change it: Whatever you got, you earned it.
OMG. LaBrasca’s Pizza is better than sex. That stuff is so good. Thank you.
Bring back Free Will Astrology. You are ruining my life. I have to get my friends in Asheville take pictures of it cause I don’t have internet.
I’m sick and tired of people complaining about the Gamecocks going to the Belk Bowl. Hey people, it’s at the Carolina Panthers stadium. It’s in Charlotte, North Carolina. There’s a lot going on in Charlotte, North Carolina. I’m going to support my team.
What’s up with Deebo not playing in the dadgum game? I’m going to yell insults at him.
Sometimes I get shut out of the Rant and Rave section. I get shut out so much, my friends call me the Dallas Cowboys.
Whenever I’m asked what do I like better, white or black, I always answer “translucent.”
Moe is back on Columbia City Council. Where are the other two Stooges?
White Duck Taco Shop is closing. Noooo.
My rant and rave is about Child Protective Services. How do you return a child to a home when you did not even inspect the home?
All these years I trusted so many journalists I thought were telling the truth. Turns out so many journalists are anti-American a-holes and they’ll all be put into jail.
OK, America. Canada made pot legal nationwide. Come on, America.
Why doesn’t Columbia City Council clean up the Devine Street area?
New Goody’s powder pack: You are terrible. Please bring back the— [cuts off]
I would like to know why they can’t put sidewalks on Woodale Circle. They put them across Mason Road but I don’t see any on Woodale Circle.
All you people talk about the Chicken Curse. Well the Chicken Curse just struck again. They’re going to let Will Muschamp stay until 2024. It wouldn’t be a Chicken Curse if you guys would spend a little money to hire a better coach.
For Christmas my wife gave me a forklift cheese plate. Yeah.
You just can’t go and do acid. You just can’t go and do cocaine. Y’aint strong enough for that s#!t. Smoke your blunt.
It’s all about just maintaining.
When is someone going to actually investigate exactly why the Columbia Canal levee washed away? Sure it rained a lot but the canal was designed to handle floods. What about the overflow structure that was sometime relatively recently altered not to open all the way, cutting off its emergency release capacity? What about the long-neglected input valves upriver that could no longer be shut to stop the massive high-water influx to the canal? Were the valves at the power station fully open to release water?
Ah, South Congaree. So Neolithic.
For Christmas I gave my wife a unicorn onesie. Yeah.
Two pedestrians were recently killed in the Columbia area. I think it’s about 95 percent the pedestrian’s responsibility to not get hit. One was hit crossing a road running with a group. Really? You cannot avoid a car when you’re crossing the road? I think the other was walking at night. Walking at night is not good for your health.
Russia and America, all both y’all some busters. Putin and Trump, y’all busters.
Donald Trump gets his governing skills from Michael Scott of The Office.
There’s something new in wedding dresses. They are made with pockets now so the bride can have her phone on her while she is getting married. If her phone is that important, maybe she should marry the phone instead of the groom.
Dick Harpootlian is a good man, but his comment that Five Points is “like Bourbon Street on steroids” made me chuckle. (“Bill Would Dramatically Increase Penalties for Bars Caught Serving Underage Drinkers,” Dec. 13) I’ve been to Bourbon Street. Senator, Five Points is no Bourbon Street.