Steve Benjamin, you suck. Here it is, 11 minutes after 5 p.m. on a Friday. There's about 100 cars stuck in traffic because of the damn train. Choo-choo, your ass.
There are so many Uber drivers and Lyft drivers in Columbia now that they are like junkyard dogs fighting over scraps. They just can't make any money. Does that sound fair? Come on, City Council and state Legislature. Let's raise the rates for them and make it fair for everybody.
Our political leaders are like a dull knife that just ain't cutting. They talk loud and ain't saying nothing.
Somebody help me understand this: People are prejudiced and they use the N-word. But they go to town and put a black dress on or a black suit on in a minute to show it off. I don't understand that.
Hey, this is Nick. I don't get to town often enough. I swung by Bernie's to get some fried chicken and grab a Free Times and sit under the shade trees. But somebody came along and cut down all the trees. That stinks.
If it dishonors the flag and America not to stand at attention at football games, is it not treason, or at least dishonor, to diss our longtime allies and kiss up to despotic leaders? Also the childlike imposition of tariffs that hurt millions of workers and farmers seem unAmerican as well. And what about those T-shirts at rallies that say "I'd rather be Russian than a Democrat"? The Turtle just wonders about that.
Good evening. I know y'all missed The Weasel, but he's back, looking at you from Hopkins, South Carolina, where they just changed the name. It's now known as Cancer, South Carolina. Later.
Hey, this is The High Guy back with another Random Thought of the Day. I wonder if the phrase "reinvent the wheel" was born out of someone reinventing the wheel. This has been The High Guy with another Random Thought of the Day.
It's a Friday night and the stupid motherf#!kers at the Walmart grocery store on Knox Abbott Drive have got one damn register open. Motherf#!kers are lined up at all the self-serve registers. What the f#!k's up with you people? You don't want a damn job?
This is a rant to the dumbass who said Obama gave millions to Muslim groups to support terror [Rant and Rave, August 15]. Support your facts, dumbass. Let's hear some details. Where did you get that information from? Back it up, Trump lover.
NBC is always showing Notre Dame football games. Can't they find a better school?
Shouldn't Beyoncé pay to fix USC's football field?
August 20 was National Lemonade Day. Was that in honor of Beyoncé?
This is my impression of Jay-Z: He don't sing as good as Beyoncé.
I raise my voice to all mankind. My mouth speaks what is true. Choose my instruction instead of silver. Wisdom is more precious then rubies.
Confucius says, "The truth is rarely pure, and never simple."
To the person needing an explanation of an AMPERSAND (Rant and Rave, Aug. 29): The "at sign, @" is not an ampersand. The & symbol is the ampersand. It got started as a symbol for the Latin word "et" meaning "and".
I love Little Caesars pizza as much as the next person, but the five-meat pizza commercial has got a line of fine print. What the hell does that line of fine print say about that pizza? I can't read that. Thank you.
My friend says that the stock market is like chasing your tail.
My dog's name is Rover Dangerfield.
Justice should continue to kiss some black ass after all that black people have been put through. They have a lot more ass kissing to do.
Let me see if I get this right: The president of the United States, who despises MS-13 and their culture, the people who snitch and all that for drugs, is now besmirching people in his own administration for snitching?
My favorite food is barbecue tuna fish.
I mean, really, University of South Carolina Police Department, isn't jaywalking still a crime around the university? When the light's red, students, that means "don't walk." Let's do something about it, USC.
There used to be only two things that were a pain in the ass. Those two things were asteroids and hemorrhoids. Now we must add a third: opioids.
Lock him up! Lock him up!
This rant is against Spectrum Internet service. The commercial on TV is geared only toward black people.
Here's a question: Will our president continue to be the Teflon Don?
My favorite moving companies are Two Men and a Truck and Minute Man Movers.
Can we the people seize Trump's passport so he doesn't flee to Russia?
The Rant and Rave is our favorite page in Free Times and we can't read it this week [Aug. 22] because it is up against a green color. You know what? We'll cancel.
Yeah, change your paper color back to white, the way it was. The green color is very hard for older people, even if they wear glasses, to read. So, you need to put it back to white. This is bad color this week.
Yeah, would Mayor Benjamin have given entertainers the key to the city if they had been white?
Coach Will Muschamp has "USC" in his name, and "champ." Yeah.
Boy, old Todd Kohlhepp played the Spartanburg County Sheriff's Department like a puppeteer. He's got them looking for bodies that never have existed.
Please pay the man for an astrology column and he will write.
The best weatherman is Jim Gandy. Bar none.
Hey, when you get the key to the city, what does it unlock? Where's the gate, man?
It's a good thing Cohen had a tape to back himself up.
My friend drives a water truck.
I think they ought to take that officer and put him in the car in the Columbiana Mall parking lot in the afternoon and leave him in the vehicle for six hours. Irresponsible.
[In reference to Rant and Rave, July 18] There are more than three comedians in Columbia. Go to Art Bar on Tuesday night for a free comedy show and you'll see a dozen comedians. Only three of them will be funny, but you'll see a dozen.
Somebody please tell these mothers and grandmothers to slow down when they are walking. The baby's legs are not as long as theirs. Thank you.
Hey CPD, that's a nice new dedicated pick up/drop off area for Uber, Lyft and taxis. How many drunk students are going to get hit crossing Harden or Devine to get to your little Uber Trap? What kind of public safety officer or city planner actually thought this was a great idea?
He appears to be obese but he makes himself known as a small man, a very small man whose actions highlight his lack of leadership.
I love squirrels. They are tasty.
"WTF" is a phrase that can get your mouth washed out with soap.
You can bet your ass Trump will never buy a flip phone.
Yes, I was just wondering, is there going to be anybody left to lock Hillary up?
Hammock thought from Shameless Smoker: Coming this holiday season, TV's sneaky view into priest recruitment reality show, Prey To Get Laid.
A female jogger in the Midwest was murdered. RIP. Her uncle asks for respect for their deceased. Her family does not want her death politicized. And he went on to say: "I am Hispanic. I am African. I am Asian. I am European. My blood runs from every corner of the Earth because I am American. As an American, I have one tenet: to respect every citizen of the world and actively engage in the ongoing pursuit to form a more perfect union.”
What’s the smallest building in the world? The Hawaii Sports Hall of Fame.