SC State House with in bloom

South Carolina State House

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Good evening, I’m Hugh Downs. And I’m Barbara Walters. And this is 20/20.

To his hardcore political base Trump is the political placebo they need to make it through the day. Dealing with reality is out of question.

Had a “boomer flashback” seeing images of bush fires in Australia and people wearing goggles and gas masks: This is what Apocalypse Now looks like. All that’s missing is Jim Morrison’s haunting voice. Asking myself: Are you OK, boomer?

My favorite sport is sleeping. Yeah.

The electoral college is now totally corrupt. It ruined the last election, when Putin got the Orange Crush elected.

Gumby is my favorite Christmas character. 

In response to the person saying bartenders should chat, not sing [Rant and rave, Jan. 1]. Actually, never mind chatting and singing. Bartenders should learn how to make a proper margarita. Who decided it was a good idea to start adding orange juice to a margarita? That's a Tequila Sunrise NOT a margarita! Annoying AF! Stop with the OJ already. A margarita should be sour from the lime and slightly sweet. That's the whole point. I'm exhausted from having to explain this EVERY time I order one. Please get with it bartenders of Columbia and stop "reinventing" such a simple recipe. Thank you.

It seems to be right on time. Now Donnie wants to have himself a war. Please send the Trump children to fight the Trump war. 

Eddie Murphy hosted Saturday Night Live a couple weeks back. I loved when he was on the show 30 years ago. Since then the show has been terrible.

Consider this very carefully, you right wing conservatives. You claim to hate government and politicians. Just where do you think you would be without them? We would be hunting and gathering. That moron in the White House is just about to return us to that state. How about going to surgery for an appendectomy and the surgeon says, “I am not a surgeon, but I stayed in a Holiday Inn Express once.” 

I guess Joe Wilson and Lindsey Graham think we have forgotten that they tried mightily to impeach Bill Clinton over a sex act. Now they are indignant about their Republican president. He has lied repeatedly and colluded with foreign governments. He has abused power and done all sorts of things over and above what Bill Clinton did. Don’t you think that’s pretty strange?

This is Rick from the Taste Buds. I went to the new Bad Daddy’s. The burgers were fantastic and the service was excellent. Yeah.

Why worry about your safety riding in rain, ice or snow? You are riding with a professional Uber driver. Oof.

The Dallas Cowboys have a lot of talent. How come they suck so bad?

I have seen people who receive federal food stamps order a processed meat sandwich while standing next to a counter with cooked fresh vegetables and chicken.

The Free Times reported that 16 percent of Columbia residents are eligible for federal food subsidies. The city is now planning to make fresh food available by special dispensation, effort and cost. But the greater, deeper issue is to get people to want to eat more healthily and not make lazy food choices. People can grow tomatoes in a pot on an apartment balcony. They can grow greens from seeds under a kitchen light. Instead they decide on fast food and a bag of chips.

Did you know that you can be drafted into the Marines or the Army? Did you know that, when drafted, you don’t get to pick what job you will have or where you will be sent? If you are drafted YOU WILL HATE IT. One other thing, being drafted and sent to a war zone is a really great way to get killed. Trump is starting a war to stay in office. Remember, he is the one that bought a bone spurs diagnosis to get out of the last draft. It seems he will be OK with sending other people’s kids to war. Young people need to stop him or he will get a bunch of you killed over politics and call it patriotism. 

The song “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” borderlines on immoral to me. But, I’ll stop there. Over and out.

Hey, this is the Swiss Kid. The sweetie down the street made me some cookies, so I took her a large can of Reddi-Whip whipped cream. It was buy one, get one free at Publix. She said, “What am I supposed to do with this.” I said, “Sweetie, you tick your parents off.”

Louisiana Tech beat the Miami Hurricanes 14-0 in a bowl game. Maybe Miami should discontinue football.

This is a rave for the Market Tea Room at Senate’s End. That’s the place.

Look at the mayor’s New Year’s party that he had. Were a lot of white people playing there?

I was so tired of watching the bowl games during the holiday season that I was watching Hallmark movies.

I try and try, but I just don’t like mangos, avocados and guacamole. This is the Columbia Yeah Guy. Yeah.

Famously Hot New Year with Salt-N-Pepa. Not only was that the band’s name, but also its age demographic.

Reading the book God Is Not Amused scared the hell out of me. I also read the book Why God Loves Rednecks. Now I’m glory bound.

Clemson and LSU are both called the Tigers. They both play in Death Valley. Yeah.

Ohio State is called the Buckeyes. What the hell is buckeye?

Now is the time for all those macho, gun-toting, racist Trump supporters, who feel compelled to protect the US from “foreigners” and who think violence is the only solution to our problems, to volunteer to be the first ones into combat against Iran and its allies. Line them up and ship them off. Donald Jr. and Eric should be the at the head of the line.

War is useful. I am an American and my country loves war. My tax dollars kill men, women and children. I am an American.

People who were cheering on the Obama administration’s involvement in murder of Libya’s Muammar al-Gaddaffi are all of a sudden “anti-war” when the Trump administration murders Iran’s Qassem Soleimani. Wake up, fools. Both major parties are full of warmongers. The corporate media has been manufacturing your consent for regime change wars since Vietnam.

When the second warming-inspired global flood occurs, Florida will not be at sea level. It will be the deep state. And Donald Trump’s house will be underwater.

Bill Belichick is a fat f#!k now, and he’s losing. The Lord hates a glutton.

We had a holiday family gathering. I ordered pizza with extra anchovies, so I could eat most of it.

So, I understand my local representative is Mia McLeod. This woman is one super, duper clown. Do you understand what your pro-abortion bill would cost?

I had a great holiday season. I received a canned fruit cake and six snow globes.

My friend has five wives.

I was in medical school in 1992. The Bodyguard with Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner came out that year. Some folks laughed at that movie, but I loved it. That chick could sing. If she had a good bodyguard in real life, she wouldn’t be dead today.

My friend said, “What concert only costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.”

[In reference to “Best of South Carolina Music 2019,” Jan. 1] I have a question for “Black as Hell” — but not racist — rapper Benny Starr. How exactly how are “many ... [black] people still under the thumb of oppression?” Is Oprah Winfrey oppressed? How about Neil de Grasse Tyson, appearing in Charleston later this month?

The young lady who sings the jingle for the IGA TV commercials has a stunningly beautiful voice.  “We... are... your... hometown, locally-owned…I-G-A!”

Does time exist? In the absence of conscious thought?

Some of us are seriously heating our living spaces with wood fuel. We are buying firewood by the truckload. All of you who sell green firewood as dry firewood can go to hell. We cannot stay warm on that wood. All of you who sell mostly rotten “firewood” can go to hell, too. We cannot stay warm on that either. I wish I knew where I could purchase some DECENT FIREWOOD.

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