Biscuits

It amazes me, people in all these buildings all over Columbia will go to lunch and leave the watchman sitting on duty and everything and everybody comes back and won’t even bring him a biscuit or nothing. All the watching he is doing, looking out for them. The least they could do is bring him a chicken leg or a something.

If South Carolina is getting too liberal for you, you can always leave.

Just how stupid is Trump? Apparently far more so than any of us feared. At the recent G20 Summit, the dumbass was asked about Putin’s comment that western style liberalism was obsolete. Trump had no clue what was meant. Trump thought it was a literal reference to liberals living on the West Coast. Trump stated that he didn’t want it to spread and was thinking of getting the federal government involved. Then the idiot was asked about federally mandated busing. Again, he was without a clue. He thought it was simply a way to get kids to school on buses.  

Have you ever wondered how it can be that many self-described “pro-life” individuals who are so concerned about protecting fetuses can be so unconcerned about children crowded into filthy cages and deprived of adequate food, water, sleep, and healthcare? I told you in a previous rant, they are not pro-life, they are only pro-birth.

What is a spooky waterway?  An eerie canal.

This is the Columbia Yeah Guy. My wife and I were talking about getting a well in the backyard. I said, “That sounds like a deep subject.”

I bought an owl figurine for my yard. I don’t give a hoot.

My legs look like curtains.

Tug Baker is the man.

Nowadays lying is the national pastime. Is there one journalist, just one journalist in the whole United States, that tells the truth all the time? Answer: No.

I wonder if Trump is keeping as trophies the innocent dead children at the border alongside the trophies of African animals that his narcissistic offspring have slain.

All day all I heard was “Trump’s a p#!sy because he didn’t attack Iran.” No, we made Iran blink, watching every military move they made just over the word “attack.”

When I got to McDonald’s, I tried to order off their international menu. But, no matter what I do they give me a Quarter Pounder.

The other day my girlfriend wore a woodgrain dress. That reminded me that I want to buy a cabinet.

The Volvo assembly plant being constructed near Charleston is massive.

All the folks crying about Five Points bar closings never lived in the ‘hoods nearby. Walk your dog through there at 6 a.m. and dodge the vomit, broken glass and passed-out students. Hell, go to the clubs on the outskirts of town like we did.

My fellow progressives, would you stop painting all gun owners with the same red brush? Some of us are up for a complete overhaul in gun laws while still preserving a citizen’s access to firearms. You’ll be grateful for us if this era of the walking, talking example of how spray-on tan effects to the brain bubbles over if he and his base do not handle losing re-election gracefully. He tells his followers we want to destroy America, the Second Amendment will help us preserve it.

Thank you and blessings upon the workers who are putting down new paving on the highway near me. The new surface is pitch black and it is 95 degrees outside. They are working all day in an environment that could fry all the eggs you’ve got.   

My friend Twista looks like the policeman in the Village People.

We all know there’s going to be a war, so can someone go ahead and start it so we can all get really good jobs at the Uber bomb factory.

I love Rant and Rave. Please tell me if you’ll ever be able to retire on Social Security. People in my age group are just barely getting 50 cents on the dollar, and in 20 years you’re going to get 10 cents on the dollar. You’ll be 7-foot tall and bulletproof and broke.

Grew up a child of the 1950’s. The ocean then was blue. It’s not no more. Bye.

My ex-wife is a good housekeeper. She kept my house in Columbia, and my one on Lake Murray.

To hell with Iran, let’s just send all of the Uber drivers over there to take all their oil.

I was shut out of Rant and Rave last week. I felt like the Gamecock football team. Yeah.

I’m in the mayonnaise battle. I chose Duke’s. I tried Hellman’s. Duke’s rules, baby.

I had a good time on the Fourth of July. My community center had indoor fireworks.

Orwell was so right. In the classic 1984 he called it Big Brother. In 2019 we call it Alexa.

We might have my wife’s elderly mom live with us. I need to build a mother-in-law house.

Hey folks, this is the Swiss Kid. You can always tell people by the fruit they bear. That’s the Bible. This administration is mistreating children at the border. Kids getting aluminum foil blankets is horrendous.

I ran into that rah-rah Trump teenager.  When he checks our national debt on his phone, his phone tells him it is way down under Trump. What kind of lying damned phone is that?

Husband and I have been separated over a year. He has not been faithful to me. I asked him if he would mind if I step out, too. He says he’ll think about it and get back to me.

We are in desperate need of a functioning adult to be our POTUS.

Two theories prevail on our local drivers’ practices in making a right turn on red, an allowance that used to have an implied “after stop.” 1) after tapping the brakes so that at least the brake lights flashed, and 2) after slowing down enough to avoid sliding sideways or tipping over.

Want to put Columbia on the map? Host a steel cage match: Putin versus Trump.

Hey! What happened to those lounge chairs on Boyd Plaza?!? They were there a couple weeks ago and they just disappeared. I loved laying out during lunch or after work and watching the people go by. Bring them back!

Yeah, man. That is what I want: a White House Press Secretary who can throw a mean right hook. Can she give us press briefings too?  

Does it bother you when Lindsay Graham flip flops like a leaf in the wind? Does it bother you to see your senator being suck up to the Liar in Chief? Just another hypocritical old white man trying to save his job by any means necessary. Maybe we can get a spine implant. Let’s get some younger blood with some courage in that job so we can move forward and get something useful done for a change.

If Richland One cannot manage its budget, it must seek a tax increase. Isn’t that the way problems are always solved?

President Trump likes to keep things simple; China does not share that trait. Trump thinks he can bring China to its knees with tariffs. Umm, China can call his economic bluff in a skinny minute and turn the tables on us any time they want. They could even sink the value of the American dollar if they get sick and tired of Trump BS. Does Trump get that? No, I doubt it.  

At first it was all about deporting members of MS-13 and other violent criminals, and I was willing to go along with it. Then it became about putting children in concentration camps and rounding up and deporting millions of families, so I’m out. And what happened to all of those violent criminals? Are we now overlooking them to go after women, children, and families? It’s just wrong, on many levels, and if you still support it you are just wrong, on so many levels.

I wonder why VA has policy to hire disabled veterans then turns around and counsels these same veterans for missing work for their disability? Hmmm

A poor person voting for a Republican is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders.

Hooray taxpayers! A 20-something, habitually late and chronically calling-out-with-a-migraine state employee was promoted to a supervisory position. Great job if you can get it!

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