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My friend Dave drank a fifth on the Fourth, if you know what I mean.

I just want to say Preach Jacobs wrote an excellent article about the rap music scene in Columbia. (“Fight the Power: On Main Street Public House and Hip-Hop in Columbia,” July 2) Venues should be open to rap music. It’s not going to bring the bogeyman to your door. There’s an awful lot of white kids that like that music, too. Wake up, folks.

If I had control of my ancient ancestors, I would never approved of them bringing in slaves or owning slaves. The fact is, I didn’t have control over them. So get over it, everybody. Slavery is gone. Move on.

Let’s build that wall, build it high, and build it just east of California.

Here’s an oxymoron for you: conservative principles.

I’m in full support of a change of the laws involving alimony in the state of South Carolina. I think it’s a crime to have to pay a woman one-half of your National Guard retirement pay just because you were married to her for 20 years. The woman never attended one Christmas dinner at any National Guard unit I was a member of during the 20 years we were married. Didn’t care if my uniforms were ironed or not. Cussed me out when I’d shine my boots saying the smell was about to kill her.

Like my Jewish dog likes to say, muzzle tov.

If I’m going out there and get pulled by police and I take off and they shoot me in the back, uh yeah, I didn’t listen. I got shot. Now I’m dead. Oh, let’s all march in the street.

When I go to Harvest Hope when times get hard, I get the most trash food I’ve ever seen. And what’s with the lettuce you give me? Where’s the meat?

I am tired of the race card.

What the hell is an assclown? (Rant and Rave, July 4) I’ve been going to circuses for years and I’ve never seen one.

I ask for more racism and homophobia. What you give me is more dumbasses.

Socialism doesn’t work because everyone should know that performance should be rewarded, not just participation. It’s true in sports, it’s true in life.

Every week there’s a boil water advisory for some unfortunate neighborhood in Columbia. Every night there’s a shooting. What the hell is King Benny doing sniffing around south of the border? They’ve got titty bars a lot closer than Texas.

Confucius says: The simple act of caring is heroic.

I can’t believe the Lizard Man in Bishopville is 30 years old. Yeah.

You haven’t lived until you’ve had toasted grasshoppers with chili lime seasoning. Yeah.

My vacation was so short my workplace got my postcard after I got back to work.

What the heck does FIFA mean?

My rant is against SCE&G. I’m a senior citizen and I’m on the budget billing plan. Yeah, some budget.  

False accusations, racism, sexism — it’s all a liability.

The capital city of Columbia. Some of the worst roads in the country.

I wish I had a Ouija board. I’d summon up the spirit of Bing Crosby and ask him to beat my boss with a bag of oranges like he used to do to his kids.

What is this Soda City Showdown foolishness happening at the War Mouth? There’s only like three comedians in Columbia anyways.  

The “Ode to Joy” in the fourth movement of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9 is NOT the same as “Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee.” (Rant and Rave, July 4) Friedrich Schiller wrote his poem “Ode to Joy” in 1785. You are correct about the composition date of the Beethoven 9th at least.

Judi Gatson is the senior anchor in Columbia, so she is now qualified as the city’s best authority on everything having to do with the news. In her opinion. In fact, in many cases it is just the opposite. And WIS is now doing “Friends All Day” to one-up WLTX. Adaline always has to add a line, and is almost as bad.

Dear university administrator: Want to know how to destroy staff morale? Deny them the one day of vacation they ask for before school starts. One day!

The people that go to a Methodist church on Devine Street aren’t God’s chosen few so that they can hire a city cop to stop 200 cars so that every single one of them can dawdle across the street.

I’d like to remind the climate deniers out there that there’s no Planet B.

The best way to produce peace between alienated minds is to bring them to the same savior.  

Many who are first will be last and many who are last will be first.

(Male voice) OK, repealing Roe v. Wade? I’m sorry, but here it is: No uterus, no opinion.

Yes, we are from South Carolina, America, and yes, thank you so much for our crucial part in helping you achieve your independence. God bless America.

I’m calling regarding the rant criticizing the president and his administration for separating families at the border. It wasn’t the president who made that law. It was Obama and all the Democrats. Look it up. It’s history.

I just saw some dumbass trying to pump gas while smoking a cigarette and talking on the cell phone.

Bravo to countries retaliating with their own tariffs. They’re slapping them on products coming from states that Trump swung. They’re sticking it to the dimwits who continue to drink the orange Kool-Aid no matter how ugly it tastes.

Gentlemen of the Columbia metro area: Be aware, there is a 30-year-old petite hoochie named . She is a drug-addicted, scamming, dipping, lying woman who will take advantage of you in a heartbeat.

My wife and I want to give a huge shoutout to Palmetto Federal Credit Union, Cayce-West Columbia branch. As soon as we walk in the door, the tellers greet us by name without having to see any identification. The more senior people are very helpful and always have time for us.

Hey, Free Times, you took away the horoscopes again.

We hope children will not need to be rescued from flooded caves but, meanwhile, please, please, please teach the children to swim. It saves lives. Learn to swim.  

[sic] This is the furst time in my life that I trulee know that I is smartar than the president of the United States of Rusha but then so is my nabors cat. Ain’t saying much.

Were we supposed to believe that a wily dictator was happy to denuclearize his country just because a bully from the U.S. visited him? More likely is that Trump properties will sprout up on the lovely beaches of that country.  

I find it pretty funny that the people who hate Trump the most have him living in their heads.

To our S.C. soybean farmers: I am sorry about what the president has done to you with tariffs. Exporting soybeans to Asia has been good for South Carolina. What shall we do now? Maybe we at home have to eat a lot more tofu.   

To the individual who knocked off my driver side corner light while I was parked in a remote area of Walmart while visiting Fort Jackson on the morning of July 5: I’m sure you’re aware of what you did and — although I find it difficult — you are forgiven.

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