Crime Blotter Sleeping

This information comes from local police reports. It does not mean anyone is guilty. This is not a court of law.


Florida Man: Authorities nabbed a Florida man responsible for a string of car break-ins from Lexington, Chapin and Columbia. A witness spotted the suspect breaking into a car and gave cops info on the vehicle he drove away in, leading to them finding him at his home. Florida Man had two dozen Social Security cards, driver’s licenses of victims, and bank account information. In related news: I was recently informed that my bank account was breached and laughed because anyone trying to steal from me would only be practicing. Don’t know who got into my account, but chances are the guy is from Florida.

While You Were Sleeping: Authorities arrested a 35-year-old man with a list of charges including taking pictures of women while they slept in their homes. On at least two occasions, the suspect broke into homes of women and took pictures of them without their knowledge, and is also seen in a surveillance video peeking into a woman’s home from outside.

The Odd Couple: Cops stopped a car with a 42-year-old woman and 39-year-old man after realizing the ride didn’t have a license plate. Upon further investigation, the cops realized the car was stolen and conducted a search, finding crystal meth and other drug stuff (they can never find anything cool like an original Beatles pressing or, ya know, ice cream. It’s usually just drugs.) Needless to say, while driving with meth in the car, try to make sure you have the proper plates and paperwork. If you don’t have that, you might as well get a fanny pack and ride around with your meth on a bicycle.

Tip of the Week: Don’t let bad people keep you from being a good person. That might be hard advice to take after a man was carjacked for just being a good dude. A good Samaritan saw a car overturned on the interstate and stopped by to check on the person in the vehicle. When he checked on the driver, he was met with a gun and forced to drive the suspect to a certain location to be dropped off. After dropping the suspect off, the victim called the cops and told them what went down. The suspect is charged with carjacking, and if being an arsehole was a legit charge, he would get that one, too.

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