Crime Blotter Paper Bags

Wiggin’ Out: Cops nabbed a man involved in an attempted armed robbery at a phone shop on Bush River Road. The suspect reportedly entered the store in a dress and a wig with a gun, demanding money. Unfortunately, he didn’t realize that he would come across the employee of the month, a woman who worked there who had her own gun. She actually used it on the suspect, shooting him in the stomach. A shootout ensued and the would-be robber got away; he was eventually taken to the hospital and is in stable condition.

Cash Box: Cops are searching for suspects who rammed a truck inside a dollar store in Orangeburg in an attempt to steal an ATM machine. Surveillance footage shows a truck ramming through the store and the suspects attaching something to snatch the ATM from the floor. It didn’t work. I’m not really an expert on the whole robbing thing, but crashing a truck in a building and causing a huge disturbance doesn’t really work with the whole “be inconspicuous” thing.

The Wave: Authorities are searching for a man they believe to be involved with several liquor store robberies, including one at a spot in Northeast Columbia. The man in question wore a Gamecocks jersey and a glorious durag. Not sure when he’ll be questioned by authorities, but there’s no reason to not have your hair look frickin’ good.

Money Trail: The South Carolina Attorney General announced an indictment for a Charleston man for laundering more than $34,000 from his employer into his own bank account. More charges include the accused using amounts to pay for personal credit card bills and even to make a payment on a vehicle loan. Damn, son.

Tip of the Week: Even if you’re going to do something crazy like rob a bank, you can still be responsible with your transportation. Authorities are looking for two armed suspects who robbed a bank in Forest Acres. The suspects reportedly entered the facility with guns and covered faces and demanded money. They got away with an undisclosed amount of cash and fled in a Hyundai. Robbing a bank and then driving a Hyundai means you’re adventurous but still responsible.

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