Nabbing a Cassette Tape

This information comes from local police reports. It does not mean anyone is guilty. This is not a court of law.

Jars of Weed: Cops arrested a man and charged him with intent to distribute marijuana. The suspect reportedly was visiting an inmate when the front gate got a call that the vehicle had a strong smell of that loud (for the unhip readers, “that loud” is strong smelling weed #lit). After a lawful search with a K-9 unit, they found jars of weed, digital scales and baggies. The only thing missing was a How to Sell Weed for Dummies book in the backseat. To get arrested while visiting a jail seems counterproductive, but at the same time could just be great efficiency.

A Bribe Called Quest: Nine people (including seven people in law enforcement) were indicted on fraud and drug charges. The charges are related to a drug operation that had criminals obtaining fraudulent immigration paperwork from law enforcement individuals to maintain their enterprise. Bribe money was used to keep the operation going. This all sounds like story lines from a lost season of The Wire.

Tape Deck: Cops got a call after someone broke into a car and stole several items including a bunch of cassette tapes and change from the center console. Not really sure if this is a thief breaking into a car, or a friend or family member doing a sort of intervention about still having cassette tapes in your car. Breaking into someone’s car and taking cassette tapes is like someone breaking into your home but only stealing items you had set aside to donate to Goodwill. Sure, it sucks to have someone break into your stuff, but technically the thief is saving you a trip in some way, so maybe that’s the universe balancing itself out (it never said anything like this in The Secret when I read it).

Tip of the Week: Weekend at Bernie’s is a bad movie. Pretending someone is alive after they’ve died didn’t work in that movie, and probably wouldn’t in real life, either. A 55-year-old woman was sentenced for insurance fraud after collecting checks in the name of her husband via insurance years after he passed away. The woman even reportedly had a random dude pretend to be the dead hubby in order to give verified information like a Social Security number and date of birth. Overall, she was able to swindle more than $18,000 in the scheme.

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