Cash Box: Cops are searching for two men who rammed a truck into a gas station on North Beltline and then snatched an ATM. The suspects reportedly were pulled over by the cops after the incident, and once stopped they fled, leaving the machine in the back. So now these dudes don’t have the money or a truck. Good thinking!
Drive-In Home: A Blythewood homeowner probably had a poopy day after coming home to find a car crashed on the side of his crib. Authorities say the driver left the roadway the crashed into the home. Luckily nobody was home and the driver didn’t have any injuries. This is the kind of storyline they never have on those HGTV shows when fixing up homes. Where are the Property Brothers when you need them? Disclaimer: I know I’m officially lame admitting my love for HGTV shows. I don’t care — try watching one of them for five minutes and I dare you not to sit to the end to see how the renovations look.
Bass In Ya Voice: Cops are searching for a man who robbed a restaurant on Beltline. The suspect reportedly ran in when they were about to close, pulled out a gun and demanded money. Witnesses say the guy was about 5’5” and had a young-sounding voice. Should you be allowed to rob places if you haven’t hit puberty yet?
Pizza Pie: Cops are searching for a man who robbed a pizza spot on Clemson Road. The guy walked in with a gun and demanded money. Certain places should be exempt from the list of places to rob. Churches, schools and retirement homes are on the top of the list. Pizza should be there, too.
Tip of the Week: If you’ve been nabbed by the cops previously and are wearing an ankle monitor, you may want to take a break from illegal activity. Cops arrested a 28-year-old man after discovering over 100 pounds of weed in his home after a search. He should’ve hidden the weed in various crappy CD and DVD boxes. If you hide a little weed in Kenny G’s Greatest Hits, are the cops really going to open that up?