Crime Blotter Spray Painting

This information comes from local police reports. It does not mean anyone is guilty. This is not a court of law.

Car Chase: Cops in Lexington were flagged down after the driver of a fire service truck told them his vehicle had been stolen. The suspect was a 32-year-old man who reportedly led the cops on a chase but eventually crashed. The only thing that is disappointing is that I was hoping he’d stolen an actual fire truck with hoses and all as opposed to the Chevy Blazers you see on the scene of a burning building. Either way, he was caught.

Church Vandal: Cops nabbed a 33-year-old woman after she spray painted the outside of a church in downtown Columbia. The suspect reportedly spray painted triangles, hearts and the number 3 on the building. Here's some advice to other spray-paint enthusiasts out here: Get a canvas or even a slab of wood, and make some artwork. Then you can probably sell it and have some dough and then use that money to buy my mixtape. Just kidding, mixtapes are so 2015.

Floor It: Authorities got a call to a fast food spot in Lexington after a woman drove into a brick wall next to the drive-thru. The woman reportedly told the cops that she was confused thinking her gas pedal was the brake pedal. On a related note, check out the episode of Malcolm Gladwell's podcast Revisionist History (episode “Blame Game”) talking about this phenomenon. Either way, this lady took the term drive-thru pretty literally.

Tip of the Week: If you don't want to get a beatdown, don't spoil Avengers: Endgame for people on your Facebook timeline. And don't use your phone to be a creepy dude. Greenville cops nabbed a 55-year-old man after he reportedly used the camera/video feature of his cellphone to get footage up women's dresses. The suspect was reportedly caught sliding a suitcase with the camera trying (and not discreetly) to get a glimpse. After an employee saw this, he was kicked out and cops arrested him shortly after with his parole officer saying that the suspect was in fact on parole for doing the same effin' thing a year ago. This guy's phone privileges should definitely be revoked.

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