Deodorant Crime Blotter

This information comes from local police reports. It does not mean anyone is guilty. This is not a court of law.


Ask For Forgiveness: Cops nabbed a Columbia man after seeing him drive around town in a car that was reportedly stolen. When asked about the vehicle, the driver told the officer that he didn't know he’d borrowed the car without permission. He doesn't know the owner. I guess any defense is worth a try. You follow “I didn't know” with a “my bad” and it may get you off the hook ... or arrested.

Iced Out: Authorities got a call after two men robbed a jewelry store in the Harbison area. The suspects reportedly entered with guns and took $5,000 worth of jewelry as well as those microscope things they use to look at diamonds. That's foul. That's like stealing food and also taking aluminum foil to wrap up the leftovers after you make a meal with your stolen food.

Ya Smell Me?: Cops got a call after a suspect stole items from a store on Taylor Street. One of which was some deodorant. Usually when people steal stuff from stores you give them a speech for taking stuff, but if someone is stealing deodorant, at least the thief is self aware.

Ex-Employee: Lexington police arrested a man accused of robbing a convenience store in the area. It wasn't hard for the authorities to figure this one out because the guy used to be an employee (as well as a regular customer). After the armed robbery, the clerk told the cops that she could positive identify the dude since, you know, they worked shifts together. The only thing that would have been less obvious is if he walked in there with his work uniform with a name tag.

Tip of the Week: There have been a bunch of cop shows over the years. Like, a lot, so if you plan on posing to be cops, you have to at least invest a little in trying to look the part. Authorities are looking for two men who posed as coppers. The suspects reportedly approached a home, knocked on the door and claimed they wanted “to talk”. The guys didn't have a badge or a weapon and threatened to come back with “their team” and even kick the door open later. I mean, sure we have Denzel's character in Training Day as a dirty cop, but he at least had a weapon (or at least two) to play the part. Still no idea what the point was of these guys posing, but next time at least order a uniform from eBay before trying.

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