I like it when teachers from the nation's worst school system want another school to be investigated.

Columbia residents had a lot to say this week.

Fruit trees. The perfect Christmas present. Peach, pear, plum, pomegranate, persimmon, pecan (and fig)  

I recently ate too much Taco Bell food. I had a natural gas leak, if you know what I mean.

The Tigers’ last play at this year’s Clemson/Carolina game was called THE BURGER FLIP! Oops, they dropped it! GO COCKS!

My friend is 70 years old. He doesn’t look 70, he looks 72. Yeah.

My poor car can't handle any more of the construction on north main. Its ridiculous

My coworkers is always doing jumping-jacks and eating coffee grounds. That seems to perk her up.

South Carolina beat Texas A&M. Give Shane Beamer another corndog.

I wanted to call about the new The 1975 album that dropped today on Friday, August 14. I want to let everyone know that it’s absolutely stellar and amazing.

I’m so glad the South Carolina State Fair is going on. Meet me at the rocket.

My wife told me that I’m the cheapest man in the world. I’m not buying it. Haha.

The entire Republican party is mentally ill.

Ugly game, I know. But, number 15 Oregon didn't even get a touchdown against the number one team. Have faith, my fellow Cock Commanders!

The South Carolina football team lost to Arkansas. The chicken curse lives on.

When did R&R get so political. I miss hearing about your personal drama. I wanna hear about how your mother is screwing your ex-boyfriend.

Trump is a colossal butt face.

I enjoy watching pickleball. I also like watching paint dry. Yeah.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. Ha ha.

Grass is not green. It requires large amounts of water, pesticides and herbicides which end up in our water supplies. Grass also requires mowing with mowers that have no emission controls. 

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For drizzle.

You know I thank the lord for rant and rave, period.

Cooking tip: don't put bell pepper in crab cakes.

Driving on our interstate highways has become really scary.

I’m on a seafood diet. I eat every food that I see. Yeah.

Have a picnic.

Have a picnic.

Usually, countries concern themselves with having jobs for everyone. In the USA, we've flipped it. There are jobs and people don't want them.

I’m going to tell you right now nobody better F with me right now. I just left the gas station and filled my car up.

Nineteen big kids on one side of the door. Nineteen heavily armed cops on the other side of the door. The kids and teachers are heroes. The cops are cowards.

Until a politician’s child is murdered in school the laws will not change.

Looka here y’all. As long as it’s going to be shakin’ and quakin’ around here, it’s a good idea to take your Dale Earnhardt plates off the top shelf.

Johnny Depp could’ve used an Amber alert.

So I guess if Columbia’s nickname is Soda City, Irmo’s nickname should be “Siren City”! 

I went to the South Carolina fair and had some fried cheesecake. Mhm. 

Don't forget to call your mom. She deserves to hear from you.

Why did the physics teacher not get along with a biology teacher? There was no chemistry. Yeah.

I ain’t sayin’ he shoulda done it — but I understand.

Next week is national beer day. I’ll drink to that!

Rent is going up. The price of food is skyrocketing. Gas is outrageous. Democrats do not know how to run a country. Bring back the man with the mean tweets.

Man, having an electric car sounds pretty good about night now!

Don't be worried about your smartphone, TV or Alexas spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner have been gathering dirt on you for years. Haha.

God bless the people of Ukraine.

How does a penguin build his house? He glues it together. Haha. You get it? He glue.

How does a penguin build his house? He glues it together. Haha. You get it? He glue.

The class clown observes that you can make cars safer, but you cannot make people drive safer; you can make cell phones smarter, but you cannot make people smarter!