Activia-rama

Mr. Tidbit this week turns the blinding glare of his Pointless Product Proliferation Spotlight on Dannon's Activia, the yogurt infused with "the exclusive probiotic culture Bifidus Regularis (Bifidobacterium lactis DN-173 010)" to "help naturally regulate your digestive system."

A year ago, Mr. Tidbit briefly cataloged the then-available kinds of Activia: Just-plain Activia ("original"), with 110 calories and 2 grams of fat; Activia Light (70 calories, fat-free and artificially sweetened); Activia Fiber (with cereal pieces; 110 calories, 2 grams of fat and 3 grams of fiber (original Activia has no fiber); Activia Dessert (140 calories, 4 grams of fat, because it's made with whole milk; original Activia is made with "reduced-fat" (2 percent) milk). Those are all in four-ounce tubs.

Since then, while Mr. Tidbit was distracted by counting new kinds of Oreos, Activia introduced six-ounce tubs of Activia Parfait Crunch, or maybe it's Activia Selects Parfait (either seems to be original Activia with some granola under the lid (220 calories, 3 grams of fat); a drinkable version of Activia, in seven-ounce bottles (160 calories, 3 grams of fat); and six-ounce tubs of Activia Selects Greek (strained to make it thicker; 190 calories, no fat), and Activia Selects French (made with whole milk, 180 calories, 5 grams of fat).

And now there are six-ounce tubs of Activia French Selects Fruit Bites on the Bottom (Mr. Tidbit assures you that it's "fruit bites," not "fruit bits." If you get one with only bits on the bottom, you should complain; 170 calories, 5 grams of fat).

Counting all the flavors of each kind of Activia, you can naturally regulate your digestive system 41 ways. Yow.