Now what for deflated football fans?
Super Sunday’s final-act stunner was four nights ago.
National Signing Day was yesterday.
So while some folks fret about the awful, ample evidence of man’s enduring inhumanity to man, woman and other animals, lots of Americans’ moods have been freshly sacked for long losses by the familiar challenge of more than half a year without meaningful football.
But before wallowing in that contagious despair, consider a hard-hitting sport with no offseason — a spectacle that will slam into our community again Friday night with an all-star World Wrestling Entertainment event highlighted by a “North Charleston Street Fight” at that city’s coliseum.
The main event will pit Roman Reigns, 2006 first-team all-ACC defensive tackle at Georgia Tech as Joe Anoai, against Big Show, an aptly named behemoth originally from Aiken.
Also on Friday night’s card:
Bray Wyatt (an alternately manic and brooding backwoods bad-guy philosopher of sorts) vs. Dean Ambrose (aka “The Lunatic Fringe” and currently my favorite rassler despite his current — and deceptive — good-guy status); U.S. champ Rusev (accompanied by blond-braggart manager and Vladimir Putin idolizer Lana) vs. Erick Rowan; and WWE Tag Team champs The Usos vs. The Miz and Damien Mizdow.
If you’re unfamiliar with these charismatic competitors, check out “Smackdown” at 8 tonight on the Syfy Channel.
And if you’re wondering who will win the tag-team showdown here, keep in mind this scene on this week’s “Monday Night Raw” in Denver:
The Miz, whose movie-star pretensions are utterly unsupported by his mediocre cinematic resume, became irate when a fan asked for — and received — not his autograph but Mizdow’s. So The Miz abruptly fired his partner from his body-double gig, berating him as “an ungrateful, talentless human prop,” adding, “You’re nothing — I’m everything.” The Miz did, however, then rehire Mizdow as a mere “personal assistant.”
Haven’t we all played one, and maybe even both, of those roles in ego-driven conflicts?
And don’t such hurtful betrayals of trust — at work, home or elsewhere — inevitably undermine tag-teamwork?
Why devote this column’s precious space to rasslin’?
Because when properly perceived, the dramas, farces, twists and turns of the squared circle round out enhanced insights into human nature far beyond the ring.
For instance, in life as in rasslin’, rules, alliances and outcomes suddenly warp without warning — and with profound consequences.
So with expert help from highly esteemed Post and Courier tag-team partner/pro wrestling columnist “Mr. Mike” Mooneyham, here’s a brief primer of what is meant by a rasslin’ ...
Street Fight: Anything goes in street clothes.
Loser Leaves Town Match: And don’t come back.
Table Match: Only way to win is putting foe through table.
Ambulance Match: Hardcore rules with no pinfalls, no submission, no disqualification, no countout, only way to win is by forcing foe into back of ambulance and closing its door. Wyatt outlasted Ambrose in one of these on the Jan. 5 “Monday Night Raw.”
Mask vs. Hair Match: Lose and you must remove mask if you wear one. If you don’t wear a mask and lose, you must have your head shaved. George Becker and Johnny Weaver won one of these way back when at the late, great County Hall on King Street, exposing the masked Red Demons as the notorious Hines brothers.
Battle Royal: Up to dozens in ring at once, with winner the last still there after all others have been thrown out of it. Reigns won the Royal Rumble Battle Royal against 29 opponents Sunday night in Philadelphia (Pa., not Miss.).
Closer to home, there are only two announced challengers so far to North Charleston Mayor Keith Summey in November’s election, which will not be Street Fight.
But a Battle Royal is brewing in the Charleston mayor’s race.
Six candidates have already thrown their hats into the ring (no, not the rasslin’ kind) — and several more are expected to join them — in a crowded quest to fill the huge void that will left by the departure of “Little Joe” Riley after 10 terms as “The Authority.”
In politics, as in rasslin’, bitter clashes of wits and wills abound.
As for what looms in North Charleston Friday night, recall a site-specific pre-match promo more than three decades ago.
Blackjack Mulligan, pitching a “Boston Street Fight” against Kevin Sullivan (aka “The Beantown Brawler”) at County Hall, said he had spent some time “down on the docks on East Bay Street.”
Citing that experience, Mulligan told viewers:
“I know that in Charleston, South Carolina, street fighting is a way of life.”
So if your way of life ebbs and flows with the coming and going of football season, fill your sports void by attending a North Charleston Street Fight.
And if you’re ever in a tag-team match, keep a fresh man in the ring.
Frank Wooten is assistant editor of The Post and Courier. His email is firstname.lastname@example.org.