Political ads cartoon for Sept. 30

Nancy Pelosi is livid.

In a series of emails sent personally to me, she laments that Mitch McConnell stole a Supreme Court seat from President Obama and, at a rally in Michigan, President Trump stirred his “massive” crowd into anti-women chants.

But I can stop all this, the House Speaker promises, by sending the Democrats $1 (or more, of course) … which will be triple-matched by someone.

The same day, Trump — who warmly calls me “friend” in his email — sent a note offering one of only 50 signed and framed Gold Convention Stars that decorated the stage when he accepted the GOP’s re-nomination at the White House. Which may have violated the Hatch Act, but that’s not important right now ... because this is a limited time offer.

All it takes to get one of these historic trinkets is a contribution of $20, $15, $10 or $5 — or any amount really — to the Trump-Pence campaign.

It’s disappointing they didn’t offer one of those “Trump defeats COVID” commemorative coins the White House gift shop is selling. But those cost $100 … and may be a tad premature, seeing as how coronavirus cases are on the rise again.

Everyone who isn’t sick from the pandemic is probably at least ill about all the fliers from local, state and federal political candidates — particularly Nancy Mace, Joe Cunningham, Jaime Harrison or Lindsey Graham (or, more likely, their anonymous surrogates) — in their mailbox.

Anyone who feels that way should probably avoid their inbox. Because if there’s anything cheaper than killing trees to fill our recycling bins, it’s sending shameless emails hitting up voters for money.

For weeks, or maybe it’s been years, everyone has grown weary of the incessant, divisive TV commercials touting one candidate or, more likely, trying to destroy another one. Can't we watch baseball, er, now football, in peace?

This will probably make them madder: The donations all these folks are soliciting will pay for more TV ads. (Plus a percentage that goes to the political consultants, who are really the folks who make their living stirring up everyone else.)

Unfortunately, most of this poor-mouthing isn’t technically true. The Biden-Harris campaign recently sent out a note asking for $25 because “honestly, donations have slowed.”

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Uh, the Biden campaign raised $3.8 million just while Trump was ranting during the first president debate. And the campaign raised 100 times that in September.

In the same period, Trump’s campaign raised a quarter-billion dollars. But that’s apparently not good enough, because it’s nowhere near as much as the Biden camp.

Which may be why I got a note saying the president will be disappointed if he doesn’t see my name on his donor list.

Truth is, the political parties are making so much money right now that even local candidates are benefiting. State legislative races usually don’t generate enough donations to afford TV ads, but the national parties are making so much they’re spreading the wealth.

Still, Sen. Lindsey Graham has complained — “crying,” as the Democratic Senate Campaign Committee says in a fundraising email — that Harrison is raising more money than him.

At the same time, however, Graham raised $28 million in the last quarter of fundraising. Which the GOP brags is a record for Republican Senate candidates. So which is it?

Both, actually. They’re just upset that Harrison has raised twice as much. And make no mistake, despite the hand-wringing, both candidates get most of that money from outside South Carolina.

Look, everyone is mad right now. Politics is infuriating these days and, as this interminable election cycle ticks by, giving money seems like the only way to register a complaint.

For instance, at a Georgia Trump rally on Friday, Sen. David Perdue made fun of Kamala Harris’s name — and, in response, his opponent got $1.8 million in campaign contributions.

It’s a free country, and people can spend their money however they want. But there’s only one true way to ensure everyone’s voice is heard and, fortunately, all it costs is a little bit of time: Go vote.

Your checkbook will thank you.

And, in a few weeks, all your new friends will suddenly stop hitting you up for money. At least until the next election.

Reach Brian Hicks at bhicks@postandcourier.com.