In the movies, the old saying goes, some stars wear the hat. And sometimes, the hat wears them.
Say whatever else you want about Sylvester Stallone’s kitschy 1995 turn as futuristic comic book judge-jury-executioner Judge Dredd, the dude wore the helmet. Karl Urban replaces him in the new “Dredd 3D.” And frankly, the helmet wears Karl.
He never takes off the over-sized thing. It closes off his performance and masks his charisma. We only see his scowling jaw and hear his hissed one-liners, chewing out the rookie mind-reading judge (Olivia Thirlby) who forgets to wear hers.
“Sir, helmets interfere with my psychic abilities.”
“Think a bullet in the head might interfere with ‘em more,” the Judge mutters.
It’s set in a future when tens of thousands are packed into high-rises, many at the mercy of mega-criminals. The judges are all that stand in the way of anarchy. They’re wired-in, hi-tech hunter/prosecutor/killers who solve (sort of) crimes, catch criminals and dole out punishment, on the spot. The death penalty is their favorite.
There’s a new drug making the rounds. There always is. “Slo Mo,” it’s called, and Ma-Ma is the drug lord who has it. Lena Headey (“300”) plays her in a performance that begins and ends with the flashy scar-riddled makeup.
When Dredd and the “mutant” psychic judge-in-training, Anderson (Thirlby), nab one of Ma-Ma’s thugs, of course you know this means war.
This “Dredd” is a limited vision of the future, mainly confined to one towering, rundown high-rise. Judge Dredd and Anderson and their prisoner must fight their way out of this building, which Ma-Ma’s minions have on lockdown. This could have been claustrophobic, an action epic in compact form. “Die Hard” is a version of this set-up that works.
With “Dredd 3D,” you get only a taste of that as the judges blaze their way through Ma-Ma’s murderers and supposedly innocent bystanders and await the back-up that seems awfully slow in coming.
The villain is poorly drawn. The script lets her down, and Headey just isn’t “big” enough. Thirlby is sensitive and cute as ever, funny when she has to be. She needs more to do.
And Urban — so droll as Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy in the “Star Trek” reboot, so sinister in as Black Hat in “Priest,” so worthy a foe for Bruce Willis in “Red” — is lost behind that big ol’ helmet.
That conspires to render the mega violent mega satire of MegaCity mega boring.