CLEMSON - I know dozens of you have waited anxiously, patiently for this.

Got a better caption idea? Let's see it.

If the Landon-Lambert scheme to slow Jerry Hughes failed Saturday, ESPN has “confirmed” Plan B was a straight kidnapping.

Has Memorial Stadium outsourced its concessions to the Upstate’s carnival cartel?

You know everybody seems pretty happy in their tailgating villages. I know I enjoyed them in Columbus.

Maybe it also good preparation in case the recession deepens. And, hey, maybe the 1930s weren’t so bad.

Do you think they did a lot of grilling out in Hoovervilles?

In the spirit of Curb Your Enthusiasm – recall the Freak Book/limo driver episode – I feel bad for these guys.

I wish I could offer them something to read, while they pass the three hours of game time. But all I had was Phil Steele’s College guide and several restraining orders.

Speaking of restraining orders. Brett Jensen formerly of CUTigers looks over one issued to Will Vandervort, clearly distraught, who by court decree, cannot come within 500 feet of Ben Roethlisberger.

See: destruction of evidence.

Guys, please stop using Gatorade jugs to house Harry Buffalo during your Friday night mixers.

I’m set for lunch the rest of the week.

The rain gods were either not satisfied with someone's pregame chicken sacrifice ... or my hire by the Post and Courier. If it rains again it is on me. But it can't rain again on Saturday in Clemson this fall, can it?

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