It Beats Working
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There's no treat in being tricked
One Halloween we're dressing up as Mickey Mouse to go trick-or-treating, and the next we're staying at home so we can hand out Fun Size Snickers bars to all the kids who come to our front door. Granted, in my particular case, it actually was last year I dressed up as Mickey Mouse (and, Mom, I'm sorry about your pantyhose, I promise to get you a new pair), but still, I'm not going to lie: Those last 365 days sure went fast.
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As seen on TV
Bryce demonstrates what not to do on TV while on TV
With all due respect to Paula Abdul, when it comes to on-air presence there's nobody better than Warren Peper.
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Now you know II
This time it's personal
BRYCE'S NOTE: This is part two of my thought-provoking series on things everybody should know how to do. Last week, I addressed such subjects as how to give good directions, how to jump a dead car battery and how to stretch one column on things everybody should know how to do into two.
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Now you know
And knowing is half the battle (the other half being money)
BRYCE'S NOTE: I don't normally do this -- "this" being actually trying to teach you something in this space -- but for some reason, I felt compelled to share these things this week in the hopes of making the world a better place. OK, so not necessarily a better place, but at least a place where more people can tie their own shoelaces.
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Are you ready for some faux pas?
So it's the day of the big game. You've got your HDTV ready, the fridge fully stocked and all of your closest pals on the way to the house.
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Here comes the bride, there goes the pride
Weddings are those rare events that seem to always bring out the best in everyone. Unless they're dry. Then they're miserable.
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Euro gonna regret letting Bryce into your country
Europe is an amazing place.
The unbelievable sights. The fascinating sounds. The really friendly people.
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Hair we go again ...
God, I'm such a cliche.
The day I got married, I completely stopped taking care of myself. Now I don't mean that in the, "Wait, is he putting mayonnaise on his breakfast cereal again?" kind of way. I'm talking personal hygiene. More specifically: I stopped shaving. And showering. And brushing my teeth. And worrying about getting caught drinking at work.
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Speak of the devil
Two weeks ago, I was asked to speak at Citadel Mall about, among other things, Twitter, the social networking sensation that has everyone, including the creators of Twitter, going: "Can somebody please explain to me what Twitter is?"
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Next time I think I'll pass(port)
Let's say you're traveling to Europe this year. Let's also say your passport is valid through next year. Would you be worried? Of course you wouldn't. That's because you are an idiot.
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Next up: Improving this column
The shed in our backyard has always been problematic. Sometimes it unlocks, sometimes it makes me want to take a chainsaw to it, throw the pieces into a wood chipper, douse the resulting pile of mulch in kerosene and set the whole thing on fire. Or, you know, something equally rational like that. (Fortunately we keep the chainsaw in the shed.)
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iThink iMight have a problem
I'll never forget the first time we met. I was downtown shopping one afternoon, minding my own business when out of nowhere she appeared. She was dressed in all black and commanded the room's attention. Almost immediately I caught myself staring. As I went to look away I wasn't sure, but I thought she might have blown me a kiss. Later I realized that's silly, iPhones can't blow kisses.
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Down. Set. Hike (the Appalachian Trail)!
A couple of weekends ago, my wife and I went hiking (notice I took my wife with me) (and we actually went hiking) in the mountains of North Carolina. It was during that time, surrounded by vast amounts of open space and the gentle sounds of nature, that I had a chance to reflect on some things, most notably, how much I missed cable television.
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Leapin' lizards (scare Bryce to death)
Funny how life works.
Back in 1985, when I was just 10-years-old, my buddy Andy Nelms and I spent the entire summer trying to catch lizards. Every time we would catch one, we would put it in a container, label it and observe the lizard's behavior. Fast forward 25 years later, and wouldn't you know it, I still make poop jokes.
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One year down, hopefully more to go
On Sunday I celebrated my first wedding anniversary. Or, as my wife likes to call it, "I still can't believe I said yes." As for the day itself, well, we didn't really do anything too fancy. Simply grabbed a bite to eat and then visited the spot where we exchanged vows. But as we wer...
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Bryce Donovan is the humor columnist for The Post and Courier. According to his mother, his weekly column is "easily the fifth or sixth best thing in the Thursday newspaper." Each week he ventures outside the building to try out new, weird and exciting things. When he's done, he sits down at a computer and writes a first-person account of just how much company time he wasted. For even more Bryce, check out his blog, The Bryce is Write.
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