Feeding my pet peeves

As a rule, I'm a pretty easy-going guy. I go through life humming happy songs and trying to stay out of the way.

But there are certain things that really irritate the heck out of me.

They're called pet peeves.

For instance, I don't understand people who park at a gas pump at a convenience store, fill up their car, then leave it parked at the pump while they go inside and shop around for a while.

Don't they know other people are waiting to use that pump?

Then there are the gas pumps that don't have the automatic shut-off do-hickey, and you have to stand there and hold it the entire time. That bothers me too.

I also get the willies when I see a misspelled sign. Some folks just don't know the difference between your and you're, and who's and whose.

Don't you just hate misplaced apostrophe's? See?

Bistro seating

When it comes to restaurants, I'm not a fan of bistro seating. I know they put those little tables close together so they can fit more people in and make more money.

But it's hard to ignore the conversation of people sitting eight inches away from you.

I'm also bothered by restaurant receipts. Can they make the print any smaller? I don't mind paying the bill, but I'd really like to be able to read it!

Also, I get a little peeved with impatient waiters who want to rush you out before you finish your dessert.

What part of wait don't they understand? It's right there in their job title.

Road signs are another problem. If you aren't familiar with an area, they can be awfully confusing.

And I promised myself I wouldn't get into all the stupid things drivers do on the roadways, but I'm not fond of tailgaters, I wish more people would use their turn signals, and I would like them to get off the phone while they're driving.

Oh, and there are certain people who incessantly crack their knuckles. I really wish they wouldn't do that.

Volume control

Then there are the people who simply don't understand they're supposed to park within the white lines in a parking lot. How did they miss that simple lesson?

And just a quick word about loud talkers. There really ought to be a volume-control knob on these people.

They're almost as bad as mumblers.

But even that's not as aggravating as when you go through a drive-through window at a fast-food place, they get your order wrong, and you don't realize it until you're five miles down the road.

How about those hard plastic shells that toys and tools are wrapped in? They're impossible to remove without a chainsaw.

And DVD security strips. They're packed like plutonium.

Then there are the people who talk in the movie theater, throw cigarette butts out of the car window, never answer their phone, leaf blowers, potholes, and the ever-increasing problem with having to have so many passwords to get everything from your messages to your money.

And, of course, there are newspaper columnists who just like to complain about everything. They're the worst.

Read more columns by Ken Burger

Reach Ken Burger at kburger@postandcourier.com or 937-5598 or follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/Ken_Burger. To read previous columns, go to postand courier.com/burger.