Women need to know how to ask for a raise

You've just completed your third special project at work in the year, receiving rave reviews, public recognition at the staff meeting and a nice note from your boss. All quite gratifying, but not the raise you really wanted. Now what do you do? You ask for the raise.

But these are challenging economic times, you say. Don't let that keep you from asking. Consider this advice from David Lorenzo, author of "Career Intensity": "Employers don't automatically hand out raises these days. Remember that most businesses try to obtain services as inexpensively as possible. This includes labor. Chances are good that sometimes you will only receive more if you ask for it."

Asking for a raise isn't typically a strong skill for women. Susan Wilson Solovic, author of "The Girls' Guide to Power and Success," says, "Women share the most personal details about our spouses or children, but when it comes to money, we just shut up." In their book, "Women Don't Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide," Carnegie Mellon economist Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever cited research showing that men initiate negotiations four times more often than women do.

But success awaits those women who do negotiate pay increases. A study of businesswomen conducted by Pink magazine revealed that 72 percent of study participants who instigated negotiations received what they wanted. "Because women in South Carolina earn 72 cents for every $1 a man earns, it's vitally important for them to know how to negotiate higher rates of pay," says Jennet Robinson Alterman, executive director of Charleston's Center for Women. "Studies show that their failure to do so results in a loss of more than half a million dollars in earnings over their lifetime."

So what's the best way to ask for a raise?

Start by arming yourself with data, lots of it. Use sites such as jobsearchintelligence.com or salary.com or speak with a trusted recruiter to understand the market value for your job. Inventory your job skills and abilities. Prepare a list of compelling facts showing the value you've added to the business. If that project you just finished saved the company money, that's a negotiating point. Use this research to establish a specific dollar amount for the raise you want.

Now, it's personal preparation time -- planning what and how you'll present your case. It's good to work with a friend to practice what you'll say. The goal is getting comfortable with your words and demeanor so you assert your views sincerely, calmly, diplomatically and without apology. Anticipate what objections your boss may bring up and craft a response. Despite all your good research and thoughtful preparation, the answer may still be "no." Resolve to be calm, politely saying, "I understand your position," as you exit the conversation.

Expand your comfort zone -- think about negotiations simply as a business skill, not as a threat to personal relationships. "Negotiating for outcomes is a basic fact of business life regardless of gender and is something that more women must get comfortable doing," says Amy Jenkins, a Charleston-based employment lawyer for McAngus Goudelock & Courie LLC.

Negotiating -- defined by Merriam Webster as "to arrange for or bring about through conference, discussion, and compromise" -- should be a natural skill set for women based on our skill in forming collaborative relationships. The only difference is in learning to ask for ourselves instead of always for others. Let's make it so!

Jane Perdue, consultant, coach, speaker and author, is the CEO of The Braithewaite Group.The Job Coaches are experienced volunteers from the Center for Women's Job Counseling Program. Ask a question by calling 763-7333 or e-mailing info@c4women.org. If you would like further assistance, make an appointment; a donation of $10 is requested for appointments.