The worst job you ever had?

Whenever you hear a co-worker complaining or someone says something about how bad things are at the office, just ask them a simple question: What's the worst job you ever had?

For me, the answer is watermelons.

I was 16 years old and a bunch of us skinny boys signed on for a summer job working in the watermelon fields under the scorching South Carolina sun where there wasn't any shade for miles.

Rising before sunup, we carpooled to Yemassee, where the pickers and packers were loading 18-wheelers bound for places we never heard of.

The packers were migrants who worked their way up the East Coast, following the crops as they matured on the vine. They had a skill and were paid well.

We were manual labor, melon tossers, paid $7 for a day's work that lasted until the last rays of sun dropped down behind the pine trees.

I remember being so tired and dirty that when I got home at night, I took two baths and fell into the bed, exhausted.

Admitting clerk

Over the course of my life, I've had a few other jobs that I don't list on my official resume.

Let's see, in college, I once worked at a department store during the holidays putting together bicycles.

When that job ran out, I got another one filling orders in an electric blanket factory, but it was seasonal.

I also spent more time than I care to remember loading trucks at night in a wholesale grocery warehouse.

There also were short-lived jobs as an all-night clerk in a motel, a campus mailman, a public relations guy and a bartender.

Then there was a stint as an admitting clerk at a mental hospital, a learning experience you never forget, even in your nightmares.

Oh, and I tried being a salesman one time and found out very quickly that I wasn't.

Patching potholes

Jobs like that make you appreciate the one you finally get when you complete your education and get the opportunity to do what you like to do.

For several decades, I've been fooling people into thinking I could write well enough to get paid for it.

Chances are your work history is also sprinkled with less-than-wonderful jobs.

For the fun of it, I asked some of my colleagues that question and got some interesting answers, including making doughnuts, selling shoes, shoveling horse manure, stocking grocery shelves, detasseling corn, mining coal, working in a textile mill, busing restaurant tables, chopping tobacco, selling newspaper subscriptions over the phone, moving furniture, washing cars, cleaning apartments, patching potholes, roofing, chow line officer on a troop ship, teaching preschool, baby-sitting, construction work, waiting tables and gutting fire-damaged houses.

Read more columns by Ken Burger

It all affects who we are, what we become and, in some cases, what we eat. I, for instance, haven't touched a watermelon since the summer of 1965.

Reach Ken Burger at kburger@postandcourier.com or 937-5598.