S.C. politics — That's all folks!

So Nikki's on the cover of Newsweek and Newt's coming to town to stump for Tim Scott.

These days, even the black sheep of the Republican Party -- Lindsey Graham -- rates a profile in The New York Times Magazine.

Meanwhile, the state Democratic nominee for U.S. Senate, Al Greene, is throwing reporters off his property and refusing free publicity -- which makes perfect sense, since he isn't campaigning anyway.

With this kind of winning strategy, is it any wonder Carol Fowler will not seek a third term as chair of the South Carolina Democratic Party? Nobody wants to be the engineer at a train wreck.

Unless the business community really makes good on its endorsement of Democratic gubernatorial candidate Vincent Sheheen, or history repeats itself and Frank S. Holleman III whips Dr. Zais (who, by the way, was great in "Planet of the Apes"), Fowler's party is likely to get blanked in November.

Again.

Who wouldn't want to bail?

Loony tunes

If South Carolina politics were a cartoon -- and you could make a good argument that, in fact, they are -- then the Republicans are Bugs Bunny to the Democrats' Daffy Duck, the Road Runner to their Coyote, the Foghorn Leghorn to their Dog.

Just look at the July Fourth press the parties generated. Newsweek called Nikki Haley, the GOP's gubernatorial nominee, "earthy, attractive and articulate" -- even though her campaign has been a series of vague, one-line platforms (TRANSPARENCY! ACCOUNTABILITY!)

At the same time, The Washington Post is running The Associated Press's profile of Greene, in which he is described as "shy," "withdrawn" and refusing to make eye contact -- except when he musters the energy to speak in tired sound bites.

So, as if the Democrats aren't in the hole deep enough, now the lamestream media -- as Sarah Palin, Haley's political savior, calls them -- is in the tank for the GOP.

So much for that right-wing bias.

Tent sizes

The funniest thing about all this is there's no longer a dime's worth of difference between Democrats and Republicans (especially since the GOP dropped all those pesky "values" issues).

The problem is, for most of the last two decades the meek and lily-livered Dems have allowed their opposition to define them. You know -- the Dems tax and spend -- which is apparently worse than the GOP's cutting taxes and spending, which leads to deficits.

Yet, when was the last time the tea party, which claims to be fed up with both parties and spending, supported anyone other than a Republican?

South Carolina has become the model of the GOP's Big Tent strategy to pull in more diverse fan base, which they accomplish by finding women and minority candidates who won't say a word about women or minority issues.

The Democrats, if they are ever going to dig out of this hole, need to shrink their tent. They need to better vet their candidates and talk for themselves. In that spirit, party officials say this Greene fiasco has taught them a valuable lesson.

But not in time for this election, Daffy.

Read additional columns by Brian Hicks