Carmakers mastering ABCs, 123s as name game loses out to alphanumeric soup

A friend asked advice on buying a new luxury car. That is one judgment I refuse to touch. There are too many excellent choices, and I would not want to be accused of discrimination or favoritism.

For fun, I suggested she look into an MKZ, or a ZDX or a CTS or, try a CLS. Naturally, this luxury car prospect had no idea what brands I was suggesting.

Nearly all of the carmakers and their marketing czars have fallen all over themselves grabbing unassociated letters from the alphabet, ignoring recognizable, acclaimed and successful names such as Riviera, Fairlane, Eldorado, Falcon, Dart, Monterey, Bel Air, Bonneville, Zephyr, New Yorker and many others.

It is amazing Toyota’s Camry and Honda’s Accord have done so well — just think how many more vehicles they could have sold with a nameplate such as ZYX987.

Now we learn South Korean automaker Kia is considering a switch to numbers designation. In an interview reported in Automotive News, Vice Chairman Chung Eui-sun said he “understands American buyers may prefer a car with a name … but he also thinks alphanumerics can increase strength of an auto brand.”

Selecting future car names is one of the most contentious issues for car manufacturers. Picking the right name involves the entire management team — sometimes ignoring the voices of car designers or the advertising agency. All of a sudden a purchasing agent or a finance guy believes himself qualified to name a product, with the CEO left to make the final decision, many times an unpopular selection.

None of the so-called naming experts realize car names are not the primary buying motive of customers — It’s the product, Baby!

Paul Ingrassia of the Wall Street Journal believes nomenclature might be termed the “sport of dictators.” When the Volkswagen Beetle was developed in prewar Germany, Adolf Hitler decreed that it be named the “KDF,” for Kraft Durch Freude — the name of the state-sponsored Nazi labor organization. (It means Strength through Joy).

Ingrassia recalls when Ford prepared to launch a new upscale brand in 1956, it hired an esteemed poet to suggest names. Among her ideas: Mongoose Civique, Varsity Stroke and Utopian Turtletop. Little wonder, then, that Chairman Henry Ford II rejected them all and settled on Edsel, to honor his father. Unfortunately, the Edsel flopped. “Mongoose Civique” would not have saved it.

When did this alphanumeric trend start? Some believe it was in 1989 when the Lexus division of Toyota decided to follow the lead of Mercedes-Benz and BMW. The number indicated engine size, therefore the ES250 and LS400, which are now much larger numbers as engines have been enlarged several times.

Some time later, Cadillac and Lincoln followed. What a turnaround in marketing strategy — remember Cadillac’s slogan, “The Standard of the World?” At the time, Cadillac and Lincoln competed for the No. 1 rating in the luxury class sales – and they did it with such well-known names as DeVille and Continental.

Ingrassia rightfully believes as long as alphabet-soup names are here to stay, it might be good for car companies to make initials mean something. “So a car intended to be driven in the far right lane could be called the RUSH. And a car for the left lane could be named MSNBC. Maybe Rush Limbaugh and Keith Olbermann could cruise in these respective cars side by side, screaming at each other and leaving the rest of us alone.”

Finally, writer Ingrassia contends, “if the initials in car names stood for something, some automaker surely would introduce a sporty roadster called the MLC for Mid-Life Crisis. It would have wide doors, big seats and large buttons on the dashboard suitable for bifocals. Sign me up for one now, please.”

This could harken back to the days when the Buick Roadmaster was referred to as “The Doctor’s Car.”

Dr. George G. Spaulding is a retired General Motors executive and distinguished executive-in-residence emeritus at the School of Business at the College of Charleston. He can be reached at 2 Wharfside St. 2A Charleston, S.C., 29401.