Take the time to make real connections at work

Meetings. Sales updates. Meetings. Budget reviews. Return phone calls. Conference calls. Meetings. Employee coaching session. E-mail. Meetings. More e-mail. Strategy assessment. Meetings. Meetings.

Does this look like your daily work schedule -- bouncing from one thing to another, like those randomly dancing lottery balls just before the winning numbers are posted -- all frenetic, unconnected energy?

In a busy world where real work relationships seem harder to come by given the push and pull of everyday business life, leaders would do well to heed the words of English novelist and essayist E.M. Forster to "only connect." In his most recent book "Everyone Communicates, Few Connect," leadership author and speaker John C. Maxwell says "connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them."

As with many things, understanding what makes you tick is the starting block for building solid connections. Follow that up with reconnecting with your colleagues and even your boss, and you have the perfect "three-legged stool" for building dependable associations for career growth.

Snag a few minutes, even put them on your calendar, to re-engage with what's important to you. Psychologist and author Daniel Goleman's work with emotional intelligence is highly instructive for individuals seeking self-understanding.

As Goleman noted in his book, "Vital Lies, Simple Truths": "The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice there is little we can do to change until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds."

Getting in touch with what we fail to notice -- about ourselves and others -- is a crucial first step to establishing meaningful connections.

--What's my personal and professional north, and am I still on track?

--What worthwhile things have I done today (or will do today) that I should appreciate and make sure to replicate?

--What thing, big or small, will I do today to renew my energy and increase my knowledge and/or skills?

Spend a quality moment or two with a direct report, colleague, client or vendor. Establishing alliances with those around you at work -- at every level within the organization and externally as well -- is a make-or-break element for career success. In his book "Results Through Relationships," Joe Takash says, "Many people assume that only new contacts will help them achieve their goals, but in reality, many breakthroughs happen within existing networks."

--Reach out to a colleague and ask "how are you doing today?" Really listen to the answer and ask follow-up questions.

--Say thank you for a job well-done. Celebrate an accomplishment with them. Offer a warm smile.

--Spend a few minutes over coffee to chat about sports, kids, a TV show, etc. Explore, discover and share interests to build a bond.

Engage your boss in a meaningful exchange. Warren Bennis, organizational consultant and author, reminds effective leaders that "No matter how brilliant you are, you need to remember the people." And that includes your boss!

--Surprise him and ask "How's it going? Anything I can do to help?" -- and mean it!

--Invite her to a 10-minute coffee chat and seek to understand things from her perspective.

--Ask him about his family or favorite book so you can establish some common ground and shared interests.

If connecting authentically is the goal, make it a habit to halt your bouncing leadership lottery balls for a few minutes each day, and create time for the connection.

Jane Perdue, consultant, coach, speaker and author, is the CEO of The Braithewaite Group.The Job Coaches are experienced volunteers from the Center for Women's Job Counseling Program. Ask them a question by calling 763-7333 or e-mailing info@c4women.org. If you would like further assistance, make an appointment; a donation of $10 is requested for appointments.