Grieving children find comfort, camaraderie at camp

Back in 1992, Chris Wells volunteered his weekend to counsel a group of kids who had nothing in common save one tragic thing: each of them had recently lost a loved one.

At the time, "Shannon's Hope" was a relatively new program, organized by Hospice of Charleston and founded by the parents of Shannon Heisler, a 16-year-old boy who died in 1988. Run by volunteers and licensed counselors, the idea behind the camp was to help children between the ages of 6 and 15 deal with the loss of a parent, grandparent or sibling.

At the end of that weekend, Wells realized what an important lesson he'd imparted on those children. He felt he had made a difference in their lives.

"I asked if I could do it for the rest of my life," Wells recalled Saturday.

This weekend, Wells participated in his 34th Shannon's Hope camp alongside more than a dozen other volunteers. It is, in some ways, a simple program: Twice a year, 30 children attend an overnight program at Camp St. Christopher on Seabrook Island. In little more than 24 hours, these children take nature walks, make crafts, camp in beach front cabins, and learn to grieve with others their own age.

Some of these children have lost their parents to car accidents, drunken drivers, or serious illness. Children of the firefighters who died in the Sofa Super Store fire have attended the camp. Every activity helps these children deal with their feelings, right down to flying kites on the beach, decorated with images that remind them of their loss.

"It's very therapeutic," said Jillian Hollingsworth of the Hospice of Charleston Foundation. "They play hard, and then have grief workshops."

These children come from various walks of life, different neighborhoods, schools and socio-economic backgrounds in the tri-county area. Many are referred by school guidance counselors. When they show up, most are quiet, shy and, as one counselor said, wanting to be anywhere but at a grief camp.

Within a few hours, they are telling stories about lost parents, revealing how they felt about their deaths, and learning that it's OK to talk about it.

"The main objective is to allow the kids to be in a group with other children who have had a similar experience," Hollingsworth said.

Ellis Simerly, 8, was one of the campers this weekend. He talked about sometimes feeling lonely in the wake of a grandparent's death, but seemed to enjoy the camp.

"I like this place," he said. "So far, so great."

And Audrey Monserrate, 8, was there with her brother and sister dealing with the recent passing of their mother. She said the arts and crafts were fun.

"I like that it's really close to the beach," she said.

That's the whole idea behind the camp. These children feel safe, at peace and free to talk about their feelings. And the chance to help them do that is what keeps Wells and the other volunteers re-arranging their schedules to be here twice a year.

"It's giving them a chance to be happy and still be connected to the person they love," Wells said.

Reach Brian Hicks at 937-5561 or bhicks@postandcourier.com.