Reading ritual at bedtime

When I was pregnant with my first child, I read several parenting books about encouraging kids to love reading. All suggested finding a quiet time and a comfortable place so that children associate the task with all things positive and reassuring.

For the decade since then, that time has been our bedtime.

My first child was a challenge to get to sleep at night, so I'd lie down and read books to her in bed. We learned all about Mr. Putter and Tabby and that really hungry caterpillar.

After she drifted off, I'd lie there for a while soaking in the day and listening to her breathe.

Then she wanted to read books often during the day, mostly because she figured out that a request to read was one that Mommy wouldn't refuse, no matter how high the laundry pile.

As she began to read herself, we carried on the bedtime ritual. My husband or I would read a chapter aloud to her and then she'd read aloud to us.

We read the entire first series of the Warrior books this way, thereby getting us all hooked on them. Whoever read to her that night was required to update the other as to whether Firestar had risen to leadership or Tiger Star's devious plans had succeeded in dividing the forest.

Soon enough, she was reading on her own. These days, as she heads into the fifth grade, we still read together at night. But we open our separate books and head into different written worlds.

I no longer know what perils Firestar is facing.

We've carried on this bedtime reading ritual with my 4-year-old son, and thank God. Because he's my child who would rather battle bad guys with swords or watch TV than read books.

But at bedtime, when he's finally still and attentive, he'll lie down and read anything about pirates or superheroes. If he discovers a love for reading, it surely will come from this ritual.

Reading at bedtime, for both of my busy children, is our time. Time together. No TV, no friends, no games, no toys, no dishes, no laundry.

Truth is, this ritual does me as much good as them.

There's nothing more precious than watching a child doze off beside you, of hearing their breath slow to a restful rhythm, of knowing they are ending their day with one of the people who love them most.

And there's nothing like the quiet that settles over the house once the kids are asleep. I feel a mental buoyancy after they drift off, as if I'm no longer on call for the day except for emergencies.

There is a sacrifice to this, which is time. A chunk of our busy evenings gets consumed by stopping to read with both children. Sometimes the dinner dishes don't get put away until after they're asleep, and by then I barely can keep my own eyes open.

It's worth it. To me, passing along a love of reading is a gift.

Studies consistently affirm the link between reading aloud even to the youngest children and their future success. Reading opens doors to endless imaginary worlds and is a critical tool for learning throughout life.

For one, it builds attention spans. It introduces children to words and concepts they don't encounter in their daily lives. It paves the road to literacy.

We've all been reading recent headlines about the alarming percentage of local high schoolers unable to read above a fourth-grade level and the enormous hurdle that creates for them to do well in school and beyond.

"The single most important activity for building the knowledge required for eventual success in reading is reading aloud to children," declared the U.S. Department of Education's Commission on Reading back in 1995.

Every evening, this motivates me to keep reading with my children, at least until they're too old to want Mom around at bedtime. Hopefully by then, this bedtime habit will be their life's own.

Contact Jennifer Berry Hawes at jhawes@postandcourier.com.