'Dear friend' no stranger
Sanford's spiritual adviser known around Columbia
By Bo Petersen
Culbertson
If you do business in Columbia, you might know Warren "Cubby" Cul-bertson, real estate developer, owner of Reporting Services Inc. court reporting business. If you take a seat in upper-echelon, counsel-and-be-counseled Christian fellowship sessions, you do know him.
Culbertson, 51, the "incredibly dear friend" and spiritual adviser who is guiding Gov. Mark Sanford through the moral morass of his affair, is one of those widely regarded, low-profile figures in the capital city.
He's a close friend of Bill Jones, president of Columbia International University, and Pastor Det Bowers of Christ Church of the Carolinas.
Culbertson is a personable man with a self-effacing smile and forgiving eyes. He speaks about Scripture in podcasts on the university and church Web sites in an almost staccato voice, running through a thought and then pausing before going on.
Divorced twice in four years in the 1990s, according to court records, he's no stranger to marital strife.
"He's the guy next door; he's the next-door neighbor," said Columbia Mayor Bob Coble, who has known Culbertson for some 20 years. "I think he takes his religion very seriously. It's something he's very passionate about."
Culbertson could not be reached for comment for this story. But in an interview with The Associated Press last month, he said "everybody is vulnerable, and there's no boundaries on darkness." He doesn't dine alone with women other than his wife and keeps his office door open when he has a female visitor.
He told the AP that he has counseled many men "who have fallen in the position that Mark's in."
"Everybody starts with the same exact story: 'We got to be friends. We started talking. I didn't mean for anything to happen,' " Culbertson told AP. "That's exactly where a sin begins."
Sanford first met Culbertson in 1986, when both worked on a gubernatorial campaign for Phil Lader of Charleston. The governor has attended sessions of the Round Table, a Bible study-counseling group for men that Culbertson founded and holds throughout the Midlands, according to published reports.
Communal get-togethers like that are the bread and butter of evangelical Christian mentoring, a standard at most churches and a refuge for Christian lawmakers.
Session members tend to become a support family for each other that at times develops something akin to the strength and reliance seen at Alcoholics Anonymous mentoring.
As a U.S. Representative, Sanford took part in sessions involving lawmakers and former lawmakers at the C Street Center in Washington.
The center is a discrete Christian facility run by a foundation that holds the annual National Prayer Breakfasts attended by the sitting president, and houses members of Congress from both political parties, including U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint, R-S. C.
Those are the people Sanford turned to as the affair began to unravel his life. Culbertson, who is a friend to Sanford and his wife, Jenny Sanford, was right in the middle and has stayed beside both.
After Jenny Sanford learned of her husband's affair, Cul-bertson in May led Sunday afternoon "boot camp" sessions at the Governor's Mansion for six couples, including the Sanfords, that focused on marital issues and forgiveness.
"It challenges husbands and wives to talk about things eternal that we won't do unless we're in a structured environment," Culbertson told the AP.
Coble said of Culbertson, "He's a very caring person who takes his counseling very seriously."
The Associated Press contributed to this report. Reach Bo Petersen at 937-5744 or bpetersen@postandcourier.com.
E-mail this story
Printer-friendly versionComments
sardis12 (anonymous) says...
"Divorced twice in four years in the 1990s..."
Just the kind of guy I'd want to counsel me about my marriage.
July 5, 2009 at 12:30 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Cid95 (anonymous) says...
Only weak-minded idiots and other fools need religious nutjobs to "counsel" them about sin via a "bible boot camp". WTF?
Sanford's actions with his mistress and the subsequent drama were obviously an embarrassment to SC. But all this Jesus freakery makes me really ashamed for my state.
Sanford needs to resign, then they all need to shut up and get on with their sordid lives. They can have 'advanced bible commando training' for all I care, but please do it as private citizens so it doesn't further stain my state.
July 5, 2009 at 12:43 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
eatmorecollards (anonymous) says...
He doesn't dine alone with women other than his wife and keeps his office door open when he has a female visitor.
_______________________________________________
I don't get what he's saying. Does he think he has no self control? Does he think he's so appealing women can't help themselves. Give me a break.
His effective counseling seems to have really helped the Gov.
July 5, 2009 at 5:47 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
charles (anonymous) says...
This C street center appears to be more about political connections than Christianity.
Two failed marriages??? Don't tell me how to have a successful marriage, show me.
Don't believe anyone who has to tell you they are Christian. Believe only those who show you by their actions.
July 5, 2009 at 8:53 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
CNSYD (anonymous) says...
More new age hokus pokus. What next, Oprah?
July 5, 2009 at 11:29 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
RuleNumberOne (anonymous) says...
Mr. Culbertson may be very sincere and an effective teacher. But there are times when a religious leader needs professional training in psychopathology and counseling to effectively assist a person who's in spiritual and emotional crisis. I'm not sure group therapy is what a couple whose marriage is in crisis needs. There are many well-trained Christian counselors out there. And many of those will remind the Governor of the story of Samson when they tell him about King David.
July 5, 2009 at 1:05 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
wjhamilton3 (anonymous) says...
The way these guys carry on, you would think staying married to your first spouse was like climbing Everest and being a Christian in South Carolina was like being a Christian in Iran. About half the people in this state get married and stay married to the same person the rest of their lives. South Carolina's culture is dominated by a Christian religious ethos, which permeates its politics and business climate.
These people spend too much time reading the Left Behind books.
July 5, 2009 at 1:39 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
back2u (anonymous) says...
Not dining alone and keeping the office door open are ways show respect for the visitor and not open himself and the visitor up to speculation (aka rumors). That's a gentleman for you. Can you not recognize that?
And as for the 2 divorces...At first glance, one might say "hmmm, who does he think he is giving marital advice and has had 2 failed marriages?" Guess what? He can honestly say he's 'been there, done that back in the day' and it can work out and you can have a loving, respectful, honest relationship. Maybe one would rather have a "counselor" who has absolutely no idea what you're going through much as a male OBGYN would not have personal knowledge of feelings during delivery. (No offense to the male OBGYNs out there.) Seeing many persons go through trauma can give one a pretty good sense of their ordeal. However, going through the trauma yourself opens your eyes even more.
July 5, 2009 at 1:59 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
charles (anonymous) says...
I think it makes more sense for a marriage counselor to have remained married to his first wife. "Been there" means suffered through the same difficulties all married couples experience, and "done that" means successfully overcame the challenges and remained married. A twice divorced person has no credibility telling a couple how to get through difficulties, because he didn't (twice!).
Right on about the "Mount Everest" comment. Many, many, many men stay married to their first wives and avoid the perils of temptation. I see it all the time as I travel extensively to "exotic" places with other men. The vast majority do not "blow off steam" by hanging around "dance clubs."
July 5, 2009 at 2:54 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
walleyedwoman1215 (anonymous) says...
Character will out, every single time. I'd trust my husband to remain true to his values if Carrie Underwood fainted naked in his arms. (And he loves him some Carrie Underwood! :-)
He trusts me no matter where I travel or what circumstances I happen to be in, because he knows my first priority is protecting our marriage. He also knows I don't drink with or dance with other men, even mutual friends of many years.
I do understand Culbertson's stance on not being alone or secluded with a woman. To avoid even a hint of impropriety, Billy Graham has had the same rule for more than 60 years.
July 5, 2009 at 4:45 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
mikeinnc (anonymous) says...
Well this seems like a really good approach, I don't see what can possibly go wrong with this plan....
July 5, 2009 at 5:13 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
eyfigueroa (anonymous) says...
lol mikeinnc!
July 5, 2009 at 6:27 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
crabbypatty (anonymous) says...
did this goofy guy fail at his first and second marriages because he did not leave his office door open? he seems to know what he is talking about in that area.
July 5, 2009 at 8:38 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Cid95 (anonymous) says...
It would be even better if women didn't wear tempting clothes, and in fact covered themselves. To improve on that, we should try to separate non-related men and women to avoid these situations. And alcohol causes so many indiscretions, it should be removed from the equation.
Oh hey look, now we're in KSA! Great. Religious nutjobs are the same, just different colored stripes and degrees of craziness.
July 5, 2009 at 10:27 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Postandcourier.com is pleased to offer readers the enhanced ability to comment on stories. We expect our readers to engage in lively, yet civil discourse. Postandcourier.com does not edit user submitted statements and we cannot promise that readers will not occasionally find offensive or inaccurate comments posted in the comments area. Responsibility for the statements posted lies with the person submitting the comment, not postandcourier.com. If you find a comment that is objectionable, please click "report abuse" and we will review it for possible removal. Please be reminded, however, that in accordance with our Terms of Use and federal law, we are under no obligation to remove any third party comments posted on our website.
Users can now build user-to-user connections, follow friends' recent posts, add an avatar that fits their personality, and more. If you have posted here before you'll need to sign up again, or if you've never posted before, start now by signing up!
Full terms and conditions can be read here.
- Most Commented
- Most Emailed
- S.C. losing port traffic to other states
- Out with old ...
- Cart gives Buddy new lease on life
- Water — 'The smell is gone'
- Schools plan to update visitor-security system
- GenPhar site 'red-tagged'
- Off campus
- Historic manor house used by Girl Scouts is among buildings that might be torn down to make way for future
- Man, 17, killed in motorcycle wreck
- Tough times have taught comedian's sister to love life
