I, Bryce Donovan, do solemnly swear I'm an idiot

Caught up in inauguration fever on Tuesday, I couldn't help but show my patriotism by dressing up as the Statue of Liberty while standing on the side of Savannah Highway and waving at passing motorists. In doing so, I hope I reminded the citizens of this great country two very important things:

1. It's good to be an American.

2. Trust Liberty Tax Service for all your income tax-preparation needs.

For what seemed like several hours (but was actually more like 25 minutes), I braved high winds and 35-degree temperatures while dressed in a blueish-green robe and a spooky looking Statue of Liberty head/helmet. The purpose: to drum up business for the aforementioned folks at Liberty Tax Service. Even though they explained that having people dressed up as the statue was a good way for them to brand themselves, deep down I wonder if they didn't secretly hope I would instead scare people so badly that they'd swerve and crash into the parking lot where the following exchange would take place:

TRAINED TAX PROFESSIONAL: "Sir, do you know how much money a trained income tax professional such as myself could save you on your tax return?"

DRIVER (Car still smoking): "I think I broke my face."

TRAINED TAX PROFESSIONAL: "Nope. Four hundred dollars."

Unfortunately (or quite possibly, fortunately), for owners John Mitchell and Jeremy Schram, I wasn't able to bring in any business during my mini-shift. But I did get lots of response to my "Honk if you love Liberty" sign. And while I'd like to think my charm and sweet dance moves had a lot to do with all the audible feedback I received, I kind of get the feeling that people might just love honking their horns for any reason whatsoever. In fact, I suspect that if I were holding a sign that said, "Honk if you love Hitler," I would have gotten roughly the same response.

Nonetheless, the short period of time I was dressed as Lady Liberty served as a poignant reminder to me the symbols for which she stands: freedom and democracy. Of course, I'm only kidding. I was way too cold to think about that. Not to mention I was busy avoiding all the things people were throwing at me (including the ole one-fingered wave).

But that's not to say a valuable lesson didn't come out of my shift as the big green chick. No sir, I learned that no matter what color our skin, political affiliation or religious beliefs, there's one thing that we as Americans can all agree on: Next time, I should definitely wear underwear underneath my robe.