Why men love/hate shaving

I start in the same place, every day. And do it exactly the same way, every time.

I always start the process at my right sideburn, careful not to cut it too short. If one sideburn is shorter than the other it automatically reduces your IQ by 20 points.

From there, I come down my cheek, around my mouth, up the other side of my face and finally down my neck and throat where I'm extra careful.

Through it all, I'm constantly shaving back against the grain of my beard, poking my tongue against my cheek to make sure I get a smooth finish.

That's the short version of shaving. It's tedious and time-consuming. But, as all men know, there's much more to it than that.

It's the one event of the day when we're forced to look ourselves in the eye and actually pay attention to our faces. At least we pretend to pay attention.

Bits of tissue paper

I've been shaving for more than 40 years, which comes to about 15,000 times in front of the mirror, going through the motions.

Most mornings, it's rote. I'm mentally planning my day or thinking about a million other things while dragging a very sharp blade across one of my most important assets, my face.

Such carelessness rarely goes unrewarded.

You'd think with this much practice I could do this job without cutting myself, but you'd be wrong.

Shaving is a lot like driving. You do it by instinct and really don't dwell on something you do every day. It's that routine inattention that gets you in trouble.

Cuts usually occur around the nose, lips or Adam's apple. These are the tight corners of shaving compared with the wide highways along the cheeks where you can daydream and not hit anything important -- or vital.

Tiny bits of tissue stuck to your face still serve as international road signs to our bad shaving habits.

Boston Blackie

The alternative is facial hair.

Nothing against Gabby Hayes, Boston Blackie or Fu Manchu, but beards and mustaches aren't my style. And I know the day-old-beard look is cool these days, but I'm old school.

I think it's because there's nothing quite as refreshing and invigorating as a nice clean shave.

Ever since my father taught me the fundamentals of shaving, the part I always liked the best was at the end.

After wiping away the shaving cream with a hot wash cloth, it just feels good to run your fingertips across a clean-shaven chin.

Dad used to slap on some Mennen Skin Bracer, letting the sting of the aftershave serve as the finishing touch. Personally, I prefer subtle scents, if any. But to each his own.

No matter how much you love it or hate it, shaving is something we're stuck with until we get too old to care.

So come tomorrow morning, I'll start in the same place, and do it exactly the same way, every time.

Reach Ken Burger at kburger@postandcourier.com or 937-5598. To read previous columns, go here.