Surprise weddings gain popularity

Dan and Maggie Miller's guests arrived for an engagement party, but they got the whole wedding.

Believing they'd arrived to celebrate the couple's recent betrothal, guests were instead greeted by a wedding cake in the hallway, Maggie in a long white gown and the news — surprise! — that they were there to witness the marriage.

Surprise weddings turn the traditional surprise party on its head. While still rare, they are growing in popularity among couples looking for a distinctive yet low-key way to tie the knot, industry professionals say.

"My best friend and I had always talked about what our weddings would be like: who would be the maid of honor, the bridesmaids, what kind of dresses we'd have," said Maggie, 25. "By the time I got to the point I was actually going to get married, I didn't want to deal with all that stuff."

She and her fiance, both busy medical students, had considered avoiding the pomp all together and getting married at city hall. The St. Louis natives decided, however, that because most of their friends and family would be in town for the holidays, they could hold a New Year's Eve soiree and include loved ones without getting bogged down in the details of place settings and floral arrangements.

The couple took their vows standing on the living room couch, needing the extra height to be visible above the nearly 100 astonished guests.

"Some people were really floored," Miller said, adding that her parents and a few close friends appreciated being notified beforehand.

Her mother, Mimi Denes, had insisted on the white dress, but said the surprise wedding fit her daughter's personality.

"My son had a huge church wedding," she said, "so I had a huge church wedding in my pocket and didn't need another."

Springing her big day unannounced put Miller in the company of celebrities like Julia Roberts and Britney Spears, who kept their nuptials under wraps until the last minute, in part to dodge the paparazzi.

Surprise weddings have become more prevalent in the past several years, according to Los Angeles County wedding officiate Chris Robinson. He has been marrying couples for about 15 years but said he only encountered couples wanting to make it a surprise within the past five.

Often, he said, people who opt for a surprise are seeking an antidote to the "Bridezilla" syndrome, in which the bride-to-be dedicates many months and a small fortune to creating a perfect, and perfectly extravagant, wedding.

Surprise weddings prevent overbearing family members from imposing their "suggestions," he said, and in at least one case even the bride was kept out of the loop. Robinson once hid while a man proposed by the ocean, only to pop out with their families moments after the flabbergasted woman became a fiancee.

"Ten minutes after getting engaged, they were married on the beach," he said.

Having a surprise wedding appeals to those looking to "make a big splash without a huge budget," according to Marilyn Oliveira, senior editor at the WeddingChannel.com.

Couples taking this route will want a good cover story that ensures guests will attend without tipping them off to the real purpose of the day, she advised.

Couples whose friends might feel hurt that they weren't part of the wedding party could make themselves available for bachelor and bachelorette festivities after the fact, Oliveira suggested. They should already be registered so guests can feel involved by choosing gifts.

Long-established couples who do not want a houseful of unnecessary presents, and those moving on to second or third marriages with the need for lavish ceremonies already out of their systems, also might consider surprise weddings, Oliveiria said.

Such was the case for Marc Andriola, whose second wife, Carla, wanted to invite about 150 people to her baby shower and have that many guests a few months later for the wedding.

The invitation to a baby shower was enough to draw Carla's extended family from Peru to the couple's hometown of Clifton, N.J. After sneaking the priest in through the back of the VFW hall they'd rented, Carla first dropped the bomb in Spanish that their wedding would take place within minutes, then Marc translated for English-speaking guests.