Spurrier was much funnier at Florida
When Steve Spurrier took the South Carolina job five years ago, sportswriters across the Palmetto State were gleeful.
After six seasons of Lou Holtz's quips and quotes, we would be blessed with yet another of college football's most sarcastic and insensitive personalities.
Spurrier's reputation for shooting off at the lip started when he was coaching at Duke from 1987-89.
Once, when a North Carolina writer was describing him as an "offensive genius," Spurrier corrected him by saying he was just an "offensive mastermind."
He thought it sounded better.
That's about as humble as Spurrier could get, especially after he got to the University of Florida (1990-2001) and introduced his explosive new offense and his personal sense of humor to the Sunshine State.
He was particularly cruel to the University of Georgia, a team he dominated during his time as the Gators' coach.
"Why is it that during recruiting they get all the great players, but when it's game time we have all the great players? What happens to them?" Spurrier once mused.
Sarcastic wit
And he didn't spare anyone from his barbs in the old days.
Of the University of Tennessee, he once remarked, "You can't spell Citrus (Bowl) without UT."
Then there was the time he called Florida State University "Free Shoes University" when the Seminoles were being investigated by the NCAA for letting players receive free shoes from a local retailer.
After beating Georgia 52-17 in Athens in 1995, Spurrier joked, "We knew coming in that nobody had scored 50 on them here ... we wanted to make it memorable for the Gators."
He also scoffed at Auburn, saying there was a fire in the football dorm at the Alabama school that destroyed 20 books. "But the real tragedy was that 15 of them hadn't been colored in yet."
You get the drift.
When winning conference titles and a national championship, Spurrier appeared unable to contain his sarcastic wit.
Then, he came to USC.
No joke
In his fourth season with the Gamecocks, Spurrier is like an aging comic who forgot the punchlines.
As a perennial fourth-place finisher in the SEC East, the coach has become a mere shadow of the man whose cocky smile could never disguise his disdain for conquered opponents.
With an overall record of 26-19, no titles and a sputtering offense, Spurrier is about as humble and boring as the rest of them.
When asked this week about Phil Fulmer's problems at Tennessee, the man who once wallowed in Volunteer misery took the unhumorous high road.
"Well, I've got my own problems right here, trying to score a touchdown or two," repeating a line he offered up when Tommy Bowden was fired a few weeks ago at Clemson.
Like I said, totally boring. How are we supposed to light fires with that kind of material? Who wants to read it? Who wants to hear it?
Just as the USC job turned the once-funny Holtz into a mumbling moron, it has now reduced Spurrier to a pitiful pile of poo.
And that's no joke.
Reach Ken Burger at kburger@postandcourier.com or (843) 937-5598.
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Comments
This article has 31 comment(s)
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Posted by moonpie on October 30, 2008 at 6:35 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Yep USC has that way about them. He's eating crow or uh chicken now! He's done more with that program than most but it's a pure athelete thing not that he's a bad coach. Recruit in FL and anywhere to come to Florida isn't a hard sell. And then recruit to come to USC in Columbia,SC where they still fly the confederate flag no less! Ha Ha Ha!
Posted by superstar90 on October 30, 2008 at 7:32 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Well you gave yourself up when you mentioned the flag. I now see you know nothing about recruits and recruiting in general. We have the best defense in the SEC. Yeah I guess we don't have any players on the team. It's all because of E. Johnson that we have a great defense. If you paid attention to the games, you would know USC is a good Oline away from having a great team.
As for SOS being different. Just a question here. When you know your team is on par with the other guys and not dominate, you tend to keep your mouth shut. You don't poke a bee hive if don't have a bee suit on!
Posted by saltersf1 on October 30, 2008 at 8:16 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Spurrier and Bowden are both idiots! Spurrier had is time a FL but he has lost the touch. Sweany might be the man for Clemson. Someone needs to find another Mark Richt to coach our South Carolina teams. You know Richt isn't going to leave UGA, so we could only hope for someone similiar.
Posted by ashleyriver on October 30, 2008 at 8:27 a.m. (Suggest removal)
"a pitiful pile of poo......."???
Why, that's almost humorous!
Posted by bigriver1 on October 30, 2008 at 8:31 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Cant be real funny in LOSER VILLE. When you have an alltime record under .500 and an alltime losing record against DUKE being funny is knd of hard. LOL. wonder stevie knows he is at the coaching graveyard!
Posted by uscsax on October 30, 2008 at 8:46 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Hey bigriver, do you just keep that in a copy and paste file for this site? You post this nearly every day on ever SC story. Why don't you post more about ch"oklahoma"? You know guns and car dealerships and such?
Posted by suec on October 30, 2008 at 8:51 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Spurrier is still funnier and wittier than Ken Burger who comes across as a bitter old man.
Burger is like an old codger who boosts his own ego by criticizing others.
And I say that as a Clemson fan. Go Tigers!
Posted by mlittle212 on October 30, 2008 at 9:26 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Wow - that's a pretty depressing column. Cheer up, buddy - the Cocks will beat UCheat this weekend and and most likely beat Clemson, too. Spurrier will get his swagger back - it's just taking a little longer than we all expected.
Posted by gp3 on October 30, 2008 at 9:31 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Isn't Burger a Georgia Bullpup alumni? I guess those ass-whippings Spurrier put on them while at Florida really still smart a little!!! HaHaHa
"A pitiful pile of poo"....sounds like Burger leaned alot while at Georgia.Probaly because if you could read and understand Dick, Jane, Sally, Puff and Tim .... you gradiated
Posted by Rebel_Yell on October 30, 2008 at 9:53 a.m.
(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
Posted by Rebel_Yell on October 30, 2008 at 10:01 a.m. (Suggest removal)
And Big Pretender: Oklahoma has a losing record to Boise State! Oh My!!! Even Scar has dominated Boise State in their series record. Oklahoma has single handily opened up the argument that these mid-level conferences are as good as the Big 12. The proof is in the pudding, and the Broncos own the Sooners!! That's pathetic Big Pretender!
Posted by sbs920 on October 30, 2008 at 10:44 a.m. (Suggest removal)
ahhh "the burgermeister"
still the same little kid who always gets picked last in every neighborhood sport and was one of the geeks who got the "scoop" for his high school paper. LOL!
I guess those Chemo meds have made you just a little bitter huh ol kenny boy. . .
how bout another stupid song verse bergermeister,
maybe: "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" U2
Posted by sbs920 on October 30, 2008 at 10:45 a.m. (Suggest removal)
How 'bout: " If I only had a brain "
Scarecrow / Wizard of Oz! Ohh Yeahhh.............
Posted by theronce on October 30, 2008 at 12:12 p.m. (Suggest removal)
He who walks the talk can talk. He who does not minds his own business.
Posted by UrGatorbait on October 30, 2008 at 12:27 p.m. (Suggest removal)
In way it's sad to see the Ol' Ball coach sink to oblivion in the perennial graveyard of the SEC, than again he asked for it.
If SC had an O-line, a QB, a couple of WRs, RB and TB along with an O-line, yeah they might be a good team. When you let the best receiver in SC go to UGAly, something is amiss in Chikin' land and SOS wasn't fond of recruiting anyway. USC's talent is nowhere near UF or UGAlys and without much to hang your hat on other than, "yeah well we have Spurrier", it won't be either.
Posted by Whopper on October 30, 2008 at 12:53 p.m. (Suggest removal)
It's really sad to see someone who wears jean shorts (a/k/a jorts) get on here and talk smack. Spurrier didn't lose to Ole Miss UR Gator Bait, you did. That was a sorry performance for a team with sooooo much talent, apparently not enough though. Maybe he can show Meyer how to beat Ole Miss since he did it with less talent, as you say. When he is 2-2 against the Gators after this year, what will you say? Right now he is only 1-2 versus the mighty gators, hardly a reason to put him down when you say he is working with far less talent.
Posted by Fbarn2001 on October 30, 2008 at 1:35 p.m. (Suggest removal)
C'mon Ken.
I know it was an off-week, and you had to be pulling your hair out, but as good as you are, to come up with this garbage?
Most of the article was okay -- won't win you any awards, but okay for a five minute read -- but to end it with Spurrier is reduced "to a pitiful pile of poo" is just tasteless. I expect much more out of a talented writer, and I think your readers deserve better, too.
If I was Spurrier, I doubt I would ever give you the time of day outside of the group interview times.
Pure garbage, Ken.
And that's no joke.
Posted by eyeinthesky on October 30, 2008 at 1:43 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Whopper, If USelessC beats Florida, I will be the first one to come on here and say they have turned the corner and arrived.
I am actually looking for a more normalesque Carolina ending with lots of losses with a few moral victories thrown in!
Posted by UrGatorbait on October 30, 2008 at 3:27 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Wow whopper try to stay on course. I'm not talking smack just making my observations man. Even without your jorts, you still talk some light hearted smack, so here's to making you an honorary jorts person to keep it even in the jorts dept. I love the Ol' Ball coach but he just isn't in it anymore in my mind.
We always have trouble with teams from the state of Mississippi, even when Spurrier was coach so your point is what?
His current offense is abysmal after watching him coach teams at Duke and UF. The USCe offense have occasional flashes of brilliance but it soon fizzles for whatever reason. Your D is good but somewhere the offense has to support the effort. The Duke team won a conference title in year 3, he won the SEC title at UF in his second year so what can you deduce from that about current available talent at USCe?
His talent pool is down and he's past his prime IMO. I think the Redskins gig really burned him out of coaching. If that's smack than you need some perspective dude.
Since you want to compare records, use it as measuring stick for both coaches, and fantasize about future records heres some info for ya to gnaw on and review:
Spurrier:
The Ol' ball coach is 3-6 (.500) vs. SEC west teams while at USCe.
His USCe record is what? 26-19 (.730) or something like that?
SEC titles at USCe? Zero comes to mind. (.000)
Bowl game record? 1-1 (.500)
Last time he played or contended for the SEC east at USCe? Chirping sounds....
SECCG at USCe? Zero (.000)
SEC record at USCe 13-16 (.448) I believe
End of season rankings: N/A
2-2 after this year? Sure thing dude, nothing is sure and it's why they play the game. You see me after the game also. If they pull it off, I'll be impressed.
Meyer:
1 MNC in second year 1-0
1 SEC title in second year 1-0
SEC record 21-8 (.724)
UF record 36-9 (.800)
SEC West record 7-6 (.538)
End of season rankings: AP #12 #1, #12
The talent level argument?, otay, some subjectivity is involved here but a little sense is in the mix somewhere when comparing his UF talent to USCe talent by comparing the records.
SOS Record at UF 122-27-1 (.817), 1 MNC, 6 SEC titles, first one in 91, a New Years Bowl every year but 2 out of 12, 6-5 (.545) in bowl games. Coached one Heisman trophy winner and another candidate. His teams were ranked 202 of 203 weeks, 117 weeks in the Top 5, 179 weeks in the Top 10 and ranked 29 times as Number 1. Many of his former Gators are in the NFL doing well. It's not bragging man, if you see it that way, than I'll just agree to disagree.
Whopper do the math, look at it any way you want, spin it, cut it, slice it and dice it, the talent isn't there right now at USCe. I think you need someone younger with more energy to energize and invigorate the USCe program IMO. I don't call that smack at all. I must say statistics can be fun though. ;-P
Posted by uscsax on October 30, 2008 at 4:14 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Ur, you have to realize that the difference #1 in what SOS had to work with at FLA and SC is the amount of talent throughout the roster. At FLA if a RT went down, he had a RT right behind him that was the best in FLA the year before, on offense that's the situation. I'd say WR, TE, and RB oddly enough, he's doing a good job building the depth that is needed to make a move against the top teams, but Oline and QB are the big positions on Offense and tha'ts still a work in progress. I think the biggest surprise so far is that the defense is so much better than the offense at this point, the main reason being that we have been able to amass a lot of talent on that side of the ball, we go two deep on defense with the rest of the country as far as talent. It's the depth that's the key, always has been always will.
Also I wouldn't go comparing SOS and Meyer's entry into the respective programs like they came in on the same footing. Lou had loaded up on JUCOs and left the cubbord(sp?) fairly bare, meanwhile we all know Zook isn't much of a head coach but he's one heck of a recruiter, and Meyer had far more to work with at FLA.
Posted by auntpitty on October 30, 2008 at 4:21 p.m. (Suggest removal)
You guys crack me up. I am a life-long USC fan. I've been a fan since birth. It's so deeply ingrained in me that there's no way around it. And I thought the little article was funny! It's what I've been saying for a while now.
As a life-long fan, I was raised to despise Spurrier. I took it really hard when he came to coach at Carolina. But I said it then, and I'll say it again, we broke Lou and we'll break Spurrier too! I just think it's funny!
Posted by Simpsonvillecock on October 30, 2008 at 4:32 p.m. (Suggest removal)
What a waste of space. Complete joke. What kind of jackass would Spurrier look like if he was making comments like the ones you reference when his team has experienced little success?
Posted by CNSYD on October 30, 2008 at 4:57 p.m. (Suggest removal)
uscsax, I can't believe you said Saint Lou left the cupboard bare. He is a Hall of Fame coach, he won a national championship (just not at USC), he has a statue at ND. Your former AD said USC should erect a statue of Lou because of what he did at USC. So somebody is mistaken. Herman Helms (anyone who really knows SC sports remembers him) always said USC was the graveyard of coaches.
Posted by UrGatorbait on October 30, 2008 at 7:48 p.m. (Suggest removal)
uscsax
You are definitely correct that he has 2 deep on the defense. USCe has a good defense but the O needs to stay consistent and keep them off the field. Any good defense will get worn down by games end if not supported by O and ST play. Last year we our O depth was not good as some think. This year is a different story.
Another receiver like McKinnley(sp) would do you guys a world of good on offense.
I agree on the JUCO thing, they can produce some gems but they don't last as long as some recruits will. Spurrier hated the recruiting trail and Zook was dynamo on recruiting. UM is continuing to be a great recruiter to produce the depth required to merely reload year after year. I was thinking SOS would eventually do the same thing up here in SC, even though he didn't care for recruiting. You need some young dynamic coach to kick start and breath life into it.
I enjoy watching him coach though and he always is dangerous.
Posted by Nonsense on October 30, 2008 at 10:44 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Just another reason why I canceled my subscription to this fish wrap; why isn't Burger over writing for the AJC and finding fault with Mark Richt? It's certainly where he belongs. And, Ken, Lewis Grizzard you are not. Spurrier is not there for your entertainment. You can't even hold on to a wife. Probably because the older you get the more you look like Walter Matthau.
Posted by Nonsense on October 30, 2008 at 11:05 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Another point - since I watch the weekly press conferences of Coach Spurrier, it seems to me that Spurrier has changed from taking shots at the other schools and coaches and now takes his shots at the media - which to me are pretty funny. Because to me, all the media is one big pitiful pile of poo.
Posted by MSC on October 30, 2008 at 11:11 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Bitter UGa grad.
Keep on fightin' the cancer, Ken.
Not Spurrier.
Posted by OldSalt on October 30, 2008 at 11:34 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Are there no job openings in Florida for statisticians?
Posted by GLiDE on October 30, 2008 at 11:49 p.m. (Suggest removal)
I'd much rather listen to Steve Spurrier than come here and read Ken "Booger" and Gene "Suck-n-Cough" and their mindless rantings.
It's almost like listening to "Hussein" Nobama, the Communist Socialist Marxist Muslim Messiah from H@ll. Drab, lots of hot air, and full of crap in the middle.
Will "GLiDE" Mims
Posted by jcatone on November 16, 2008 at 7:19 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Mr Berger, its not like me to write writers about their articles but with all due respect, this one just gets under my skin. This is an easy and unintelligent way to pick on a man who IS great at their job. Regardless of his reason, he could have went to many universities that were established in their football programs and hit the ground running. He does this university and state an incredible favor (as far as sports and entertainment goes) and makes it his new goal to build a program here like has never been done before. You refer to this "perennial" fourth place finisher in the east? He is building a program and has to surpass other programs in a division with the richest history in the past twenty-five years who are also recruiting, building on to their stadiums, and hiring great coaches so that they can continue with their winning ways. I guess you were never in marketing, but it should be common sense that quite often perceptions take time to change. Four years is not hardly the time to call this guy a "pitiful pile of poo". This makes you sound like a more "pitiful pile of poo!" It is human nature to get quieter when your not on top- if he turns it around, the old Spurrier WILL come back! I know you are supposed to evoke thought, or stir it up a little in your job... but this article is a soory excuse for what you do. Its easy to kick a man when he's down, but what will you say when it gets turned around? How about at least a little recognition of the breadth and width of what he has taken on... maybe then you won't write embarrasing articles like this one.
Posted by jcatone on November 16, 2008 at 7:27 a.m. (Suggest removal)
(that was supposed to be an e-mail) This is an easy and unintelligent way to pick on a man who IS great at their job. Regardless of his reason, he could have went to many universities that were established in their football programs and hit the ground running. He does this university and state an incredible favor (as far as sports and entertainment goes) and makes it his new goal to build a program here like has never been done before. You refer to this "perennial" fourth place finisher in the east? He is building a program and has to surpass other programs in a division with the richest history in the past twenty-five years who are also recruiting, building on to their stadiums, and hiring great coaches so that they can continue with their winning ways. I guess you were never in marketing, but it should be common sense that quite often perceptions take time to change. Four years is not hardly the time to call this guy a "pitiful pile of poo". This makes you sound like a more "pitiful pile of poo!" It is human nature to get quieter when your not on top- if he turns it around, the old Spurrier WILL come back! I know you are supposed to evoke thought, or stir it up a little in your job... but this article is a soory excuse for what you do. Its easy to kick a man when he's down, but what will you say when it gets turned around? How about at least a little recognition of the breadth and width of what he has taken on... maybe then you won't write embarrasing articles like this one.