Eternal Reefs make waves in Charleston

Carla and Thomas Jackson were buried Monday morning with their dog Nietzche. By afternoon they were receiving visitors: black sea bass, flounder, big red drum.

The Jacksons' ashes were mixed into one of five globe-like concrete "eternal reefs" that were gently lowered into the ocean from a pitching shrimp boat as their families clung to the rails and paid their respects from a charter boat nearby. The odd "last goodbye" has been getting sea legs in Charleston over the past few years, as gradually as the fishing reef that it's building grows.

As memorial services go, this one leaves families joyous and teary all at once. It's part burial at sea, part scattering the ashes and partly a way of giving the departed a purpose, as one family member said, a way to be part of creating new life, if marine. The departed usually have strong ties to the ocean or Charleston.

"This is where he'd want to be. This is the time of year he'd be headed down to Mexico to fish. Today, he's fishing," said Norma Crislip of Myrtle Beach as she watched the globe holding the ashes of John Garland Dean, her longtime boss and friend, being lowered into the swells.

"Goodbye, Nana," Kevin Davis cupped his hand to his mouth and yelled across the water as the globe holding the ashes of Wilma Oswill Hoff, his grandmother, was lowered. "This is how we want to go," he and his brother, Scott Davis, agreed. "Not in a suit and tie in a coffin in a somber church. None of that."

Mourners wear fishing T-shirts and ball caps. The "memorial director," Don Brawley, wears shades and a bush hat. The service that his company, Eternal Reefs, created 10 years ago is a first of its kind.

The hollow reef balls are about the size and shape of overturned tree planters, with porthole openings. Each carries a bronze "headstone" plaque, and most carry seashells or other small mementos set in the concrete by family and friends, along with chalk messages they scrawl.

The Atlanta-based company places reefs in seven offshore locations from New Jersey to the Florida Gulf Coast. The cost now ranges from $2,500 to $6,500; it doesn't include cremation.

Mostly, the grieving is done by the time the reefs are placed. Families come "for closure," as Brawley said, to watch the remains settle in shining seas that flutter like wings. They snap photos of each other, murmuring "beautiful" and "gorgeous" as they motor out of Charleston Harbor, watching for dolphins and pelicans.

"Like riding on a cloud of air," said Scott Davis.

Each family is handed a miniature reproduction of a reef ball set with roses and other flowers to drop into the waves in a private memorial. On Monday, one family at a time nudged in with each other on the narrow bowsprit. The moment, the closeness brought the tears. They flung roses and leaned in on each other hugging.

"It's where they wanted to be," said Margaret Gray, as the reef of Robert James Allen joined the reef of his wife, Diane, which was set last year. "A perfect symbolic memorial. It's a lovely way to go."

Reach Bo Petersen at 745-5852 or bpetersen@postandcourier.com.