Heed the greed experts on crude profit pursuit

Obscenity, like beauty, lies in the eye of the beholder.

Or as U.S. Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart memorably put it in a 1964 case that hinged on what is and isn't "obscene":

"I know it when I see it."

Forty-four years later, plenty of politicians say they see Big Oil reaping "obscene profits."

So before too hastily condemning big shots from other big industries now making frantic pitches for Washington bailouts, including massive lines of credit, give them credit for this much: They haven't made any obscene profits lately.

Despite a big pump-price drop, the big boys running Big Oil haven't gotten in the bailout line. And if being "too big to fail" merits a federal "rescue," Exxon qualifies on sheer size: Last year, it did $404 billion in sales.

But Exxon also made a 10 percent profit. So it needs no bailout —yet.

Still, to many Americans' refined modern sensibilities, the crude (oil and otherwise) pursuit of profit is distasteful, even sordid.

They're squeamish, peevish — and envious — about Big Oil's record billions in profits. They're outraged by the tax breaks it has gotten from the soon-to-expire Bush administration.

Then again, what about the proliferating pleas from those other Bigs — including the finance sector, auto industry and a growing group of states and municipalities — for handouts adding up to taxpayer trillions?

That sorry spectacle exudes a reckless vulgarity all its own.

Maybe those CEO beggars who've hit red-ink gushers should seek profit-making tips from oil tycoons.

Maybe we all should.

Who better to teach such lessons than quintessential oil man J.R. Ewing?

OK, so J.R. isn't real. And in his purely fictional form on the epic, 1978-91 CBS TV series "Dallas," he's a Lone Star State "independent" in the black-gold racket, not a multinational Big Oil mogul. He even suffers some melodramatic financial reverses.

Yet there's real inspiration — and economic enlightenment — to be extracted from the upbeat business sense oozing out of that charmingly devious character, played to the roguish hilt by Larry Hagman. For instance:

--J.R., telling little brother Bobby why he mortgaged Southfork: "It's a risky venture. You know, the oil business is never certain. I take the risk, I take the responsibility."

--J.R., warning an underling of high stakes: "Hank, if you don't strike oil within the next week, Ewing Oil is out of business, and so are you, boy."

--J.R., conning a TV talk-show host on why he slashed pump prices: "I make a profit. I wouldn't be in business if I didn't. But you don't have to gouge the American public to do it. You see, I'm a Texan, and I don't like to be dictated to by a pack of foreign interests."

--J.R., in a stirring soliloquy on the power of creative persistence: "Like my daddy used to say, 'Can't get in the front door, just go around to the back.' "

Which brings us to that daddy, Jock Ewing (played to the rugged-Texan-patriarch hilt by Jim Davis), the original brains behind Ewing Oil:

--Jock, alarming associates with a blunt assessment of blood rival Cliff Barnes' goal: "He wants to see us Ewings down and out, just like that no-good, drunken daddy of his."

--Jock, tutoring his youngest son on the ugly realities of advancing private-enterprise interests in the halls of public power: "You know, Bobby, there are just some things that you flat out refuse to understand. Politics is, well, it's like ranching. You wanna get the job done, you gotta get your hands dirty."

--Jock, giving that same son wise loss-cutting advice that we all should heed during these or any other hard times: "There comes a time, Bobby, when you've gotta face facts: We've drilled a dry hole."

So face these facts:

We've figuratively drilled our way into a recession with self-destructive, far-too-easy-credit schemes from both the private and public sectors.

And the truly "obscene" balance-sheet numbers costing Americans jobs, savings and peace of mind today aren't those big profits by Big Oil.

They're those colossal and painfully consequential losses by Big Finance, Big Auto and Big Government.

Frank Wooten is associate editor of The Post and Courier. His e-mail is wooten@postandcourier.com.