An unshakable faith
By Andrew Lyons
Renee Lyons
A pensive Ramey Reeves lies in her hospital bed the night before surgery to remove a tumor from her brain. Throughout her three-month ordeal leading up to the operation, Ramey has held fast to the love of her family and friends and to her belief in Jesus Christ.
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Ramey Reeves
Doctors diagnosed Ramey Reeves three months ago with a brain tumor. She found loyalty in family and friends, yet faced loneliness in her affliction. Her faith would be tested like never before.
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Ramey Reeves
Doctors diagnosed Ramey Reeves three months ago with a brain tumor. She would then experience dizziness and despair. She would find loyalty in family and friends, yet face loneliness in her affliction. She would fear losing her eyesight and the very real possibility of leaving everyone far too early. And the very thing that Ramey holds dearest in life - her faith that Jesus is in control - would be tested like never before.
Three months ago, in the art decor aisle at the Marshalls in Mount Pleasant, the vision in Ramey Reeves' left eye starts flickering like a bad light bulb.
Panicked and alone, Ramey, 33, leaves her shopping cart and the tin artwork she has chosen and lies down on the sidewalk in front of the store. She calls her nutritionist, the first physician in her mind because she'd visited him an hour ago.
"I don't feel right."
He tells her to get to Nason Medical Center so a doctor can examine her. Doctors there scan her head and find something on the rear right part of her brain. It was a small mass. That begins a series of bad news.
"It could be MS," the doctor tells her, "or a brain tumor."
Ramey cries.
Thousands of people each year from all walks of life learn they have a brain tumor. But Ramey is about to be diagnosed with one of the most stubborn and dangerous of all.
In the coming weeks, she will experience dizziness and despair. She will find loyalty in family and friends, yet face loneliness in her affliction. She will fear losing her eyesight and the real possibility of leaving everyone far too early. And the very thing that Ramey holds dearest in life — her faith that Jesus is in control — will be tested like never before.
A rock star is born
I met Ramey in 1995 when I was a reporter with the college newspaper. I was working on a story about a Christian nightclub that opened in Lynchburg, Va., near Liberty University where we both went to school. A band performed that night, and Ramey was the lead singer. Even then, at 21 years old and somewhere around 100 pounds, Ramey took complete control of a room. Dancing and working both ends of the stage, she belted out the words, holding the microphone with one hand and slapping the hands of those in the front row.
A rock star already had been born.
It's been 13 years since we met, and Ramey now serves as the unofficial ambassador of our church, The Crossover on Savannah Highway in West Ashley.
When new people walk through the door, Pastor Sean Nelson offers a quick hello, hands them a bulletin and snags Ramey to meet them.
"She really just kind of glows," Nelson says. "She just makes people feel so welcome and at ease."
Ramey in the room just puts a smile on your face. She spontaneously breaks into song. And she's always befriending strangers. Recently, she met an older woman at a gas station and chose to pay for her fill-up. The two ended up praying, and Ramey gave her a CD of her praise music. Ramey carries a stack of her music with her at all times, just in case she comes across someone who might need it.
Before the tumor, Ramey was around my house quite a bit. She'd drop by unannounced, bursting through the front door like a twister of joy, freely rummaging through the fridge and pantry, all the while rambling to my wife.
Ramey lives in Hanahan with her husband, John; their 7-year-old son, Judah; and their dog, Punky. Ramey met John in college while working in the cafeteria. She was taking students' photos for their cafeteria cards, and one day John took a seat in front of her.
Theirs was a casual acquaintance, saying "hi" in the hallway, until three years after they met, when Ramey made her big move. She ran up to John with a box of hair color and asked him if that shade would work on her. His response is family legend: "Any color would look good on you."
John is a sergeant with the Charleston Police Department and serves on the city's SWAT team. Ramey works as a part-time "patient actress," where she acts out a full script for medical students at MUSC. On some days she's a woman with breast cancer. On others she's a strung-out schizophrenic homeless woman. The students are supposed to ask Ramey questions and come to the right diagnosis.
Fear and faith
When she hears the word "tumor," Ramey feels fear like she's never felt before.
She begins a series of consultations and second opinions. Doctors order her to take aggressive steroids to reduce inflammation in her brain. And Ramey chooses to go entirely organic because she wants to fight the tumor with everything she can. She cuts out anything injected with hormones or grown with fertilizers and considers no longer using her cell phone after hearing that it might be a possible cause of brain tumors.
But new symptoms show up. She loses sense of where her left arm is. And she experiences brief moments of euphoria, so extreme that she weeps. Her equilibrium grows shaky, making her so dizzy that she has to grab her mother's arm to help her walk.
Friends at church cook her meals, pray and fast. Her female friends at church hold a party where they pray over her and shower her with homemade gifts.
But although Ramey is fighting the tumor with everything humanly possible, doctors deliver a crushing blow two weeks after she starts taking steroids. Her second MRI shows the tumor appears to have moved and changed shape. Doctors worry that it will start affecting her motor skills and speech.
Her family, friends, the entire church and Ramey all grieve.
"You just expect good things to happen to her," Nelson says. "But this lets the wind out of your sails."
The situation is so serious that Ramey's friend from Georgia starts searching the Internet for the best brain surgeon. The friend finds Allan Friedman at Duke University Hospital, who has been removing tumors just like Ramey's for 10 years. The hospital in Durham specializes in neurosurgery, and Friedman is considered one of the best.
Ramey sends her medical reports to Friedman, and almost simultaneously, a local doctor also recommends the same neurosurgeon.
The tumor is called an Anaplastic Astrocytoma. It sends cells into the brain that cannot be removed. Whether the tumor is benign or malignant, no one knows.
When they meet, Friedman recommends removal, whether or not it's cancer. He tells Ramey they will give her anesthesia and then cut out a section of the back of her skull. They will then wake her up while they remove the tumor and repeatedly will ask her questions to determine whether she is losing certain functions, mainly her eyesight, which is common during this procedure.
Recovery will be excruciating. At first she'll struggle to see. Her head will throb, and she'll have to stay close to the hospital for more than a week after the operation.
In the days leading up to surgery, Ramey grows less frightened and more eager for her symptoms to go away. She buys bright things for her home and talks of buying a new camera. Ever the artist, she purchases a huge blank canvas and hangs it on a wall. Maybe, she says, she bought this because she was scared of losing her eyesight.
She also keeps her sense of humor. She brags about the 12 pounds she's lost thanks to the "bt" or "brain tumor" diet. And she jokingly tells John what to do should the doctors "leave me on the table."
"Don't leave me a vegetable very long," she tells John, pausing before saying, "but maybe like 60 days."
In the face of it all, Ramey says repeatedly that Jesus has a plan for everything that happens to her. She says only good will come from the tumor, even if the result is not what she hopes for.
Hers is an unshakable faith. And John is just as sturdy.
About a week before the operation, he talks about God's plan. There are no tragedies or accidents for those who believe in Jesus Christ as their savior, he says. The tumor "was authorized by God."
And if the tumor causes death, he says, then he'll accept that. God wouldn't call Ramey home if she hadn't finished her mission on earth.
"She's really at the top of her game," John says of her spiritual life. "If the Lord calls her over, then you have to be envious of that."
Don't misunderstand; John's love for Ramey is obvious. He never takes his eyes off her when she speaks. He waits on her, he cooks for her, he adores her.
Panic in her voice
The morning the nurses take Ramey to surgery, on March 20, John's eyes well with tears.
Before they roll Ramey away, her family prays.
"This is the option God gave us," says her father, Terry Harder, a retired minister. "They're gonna get it all."
Surgery is scheduled for 10 a.m., but they take Ramey at 8:30 a.m. It happens so suddenly.
While they push Ramey down the hallway, her sense of humor vanishes.
"John," she says. "Don't leave me a vegetable."
On the elevator ride down, Ramey confesses.
"John, do you forgive me for spending money all this week?" she says of the random stuff she bought for the house.
"Don't say that," John says.
"No John. Do you forgive me?"
The elevator door slides open, and the nurse spins Ramey's bed around and pushes it toward the double doors leading to the operating room.
Quickly, Ramey goes one by one through her family, telling each person at her bed that she loves them. Right before the double doors swing back, she shouts one last thing. It's to me.
"And I love you too Andy."
The news
During surgery, family and friends sit around a large table in front of empty coffee cups in the hospital cafeteria, remembering good times, laughing and sharing stories about previous vacations and jobs.
John keeps a beeper in front of him that the nurses have given him. It looks just like the kind you get at Outback Steakhouse when the place is packed. At noon, it beeps and everyone hopes that means surgery is over. But when John calls the nurse, he learns surgery has just started.
At 3 p.m. the beeper lights up again, and John calls to learn that Friedman is closing Ramey's skull. The family moves to the third floor to await word.
Two hours later, Friedman tells them how it went.
The doctor removed the entire mass, which was the size of a lemon. He calls it a Grade III tumor, with a Grade IV being the worst. Over the course of the operation, Ramey likely lost some eyesight. But only time will tell how much.
When the doctor observed the mass and touched it, the tumor became angry and turned purple, and he knew what this meant. It was malignant, not benign. Cancer lived inside Ramey's brain.
In cases like this, before the tumor is removed, its cells reach other parts of the brain.
"The problem is they can grow into masses," Friedman says. "They almost always come back."
The doctor wants Ramey to consider chemotherapy, and possibly radiation, to fight the remaining, hidden cells.
Heading through the hospital's underground tunnel to the parking garage, Ramey's parents walk ahead. Her sister, Shayna, walks behind, on her own, crying.
Ramey's closest friends from Lynchburg have already started heading home with Ramey's and John's son. They plan to watch Judah for at least a week.
When friend Sunshine Lewis gets the call and hears the doctor's news, she steers the car off the road, hits the brakes, gets out and dry heaves.
Over the course of the night, the family mulls over the news, discusses it and begins to realize that everything they heard they already had been told to expect.
The next morning, Ramey is moved out of the intensive care unit to a recovery room.
When she wakes at 8 a.m., she tells the nurse to send her family in. But her family is still sleeping at the hotel.
A few minutes later, through her blurry vision, Ramey sees another nurse pass by. Again she asks for her family to be sent in. No one comes.
Once her family arrives at 10 a.m., Ramey chides everyone.
When they ask how she feels, she complains of pain, then retells the sad story of how no one came.
No doubt, Ramey's repetition is intentional. She is trying to be funny, and everyone laughs.
The wound on Ramey's skull is raw, but the color has returned to her face, and the bags have vanished under her eyes. But oh, she hurts.
"This is absolutely horrendous," she whispers.
She huddles under a quilt woven with the words "Jesus be the center, be my source, be my light."
John caresses her arm. Her mom rubs her feet. Then Ramey asks to pray.
Under heavy painkillers, Ramey can't see, her voice is slurred, but despite this she quotes from Ephesians, the part about "putting on the whole armor of God" when you face adversity.
She does not ask for pity. She does not ask to be spared.
She speaks with boldness.
"Jesus, I will continue to praise your name through this, and I love you. From the bottom of my heart, even if I were to go home with you today, then I will always be your child."
Reach Andrew Lyons at 937-4799 or alyons@postandcourier.com.The Post and Courier will follow Ramey in the coming months during her recovery and follow-up treatment.
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lillycollette (anonymous) says...
Mr. and Mrs. Reeves are thanked for their willingness to share this story of courage in faith. Mr. Reeves' words are worth remembering: "There are no tragedies or accidents for those who believe in Jesus Christ as their savior, he says."
March 30, 2008 at 5:53 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
granny2 (anonymous) says...
Ramey, hope every thing goes ok for you. Hang in there and let all of us know how you are from time to time. May God bless, and I will be praying for you.
March 30, 2008 at 7:40 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
SomeTruthPlease (anonymous) says...
I agree with Lilly and Stand...thank you to Mr. and Mrs. Reeves for allowing us to experience, even a little, very personal moments of their lives. I've had some "trials and tribulations" lately, but I've now been grounded...sometimes you have to step back to see what others are experiencing to know that things aren't as bad as they seem. I am in awe of someone faced with such challenges that don't cause someone to waiver in their faith. Mrs. Reeves, please know that there are now many, many people praying for you, and Mr. Reeves, men everywhere should look to you for example...so many people crumble under less...you are the "Man of the Year", in my book!
March 30, 2008 at 7:45 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
bobkitty (anonymous) says...
Ramey used to teach my girls art when they were homeschooled on Wednesdays. How they loved her and looked forward to that time every week! You radiate the love of Jesus, girl. Your story inspires me to draw closer to Him. We will be praying and hoping.
March 30, 2008 at 8:16 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
abitskeptical (anonymous) says...
After having seizures which were not responding to medication, my nephew was diagnosed with an astrocytoma when he was 16 years old. Surgery was performed, but of course all of the tumor could not be gotten.
That was 15 years ago this month. Today he is a successful man. Brain scans reveal that the tumor is now miraculously gone. He does remain on anti-seizure medication due to scar tissue.
Faith,determination, and prayer brought him and his family through what seemed like a very bleak scenario 15 years ago. Prayer and faith have a way of changing the perspective of tragedy, but the subject of this article already knows this.
March 30, 2008 at 8:53 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
SusanKS (anonymous) says...
Andy...
I thought I was tough as nails. Your beautiful and touching story proves that I am just a blubbering mess.
Your story...no RAMEY'S STORY is so touching and inspiring. Right now, words simply escape me to find how to express what I am feeling. How I wish you understood how UNLIKE me this is. This woman...her family...her friends...her child, how truly blessed they are.
So few people in this world REALLY and truly leave a "mark" or a real "message" behind after they are gone. Ramey's everyday life is a testament of what and WHO lives within her heart.
It is people like Ramey that will leave a shining star forever in the hearts of everyone she knows, whether it is a loved family member, her church family, or the "stranger at the gas pumps". Her message of faith, courage and endurance should be and hopfully WILL BE, grasped and held close in the hearts of each and every person that reads this beautiful story.
Ramey and her family and friends will be in my prayers...even though I admit it has been a while since I have prayed for any reason at all. And isn't Ramey's life and her love for her Jesus and the sharing of Him with others, what it's all about? Her life is a beacon to those that doesn't know Jesus as their personal Savior. Today...her beacon is shining OH SO BRIGHTLY!
Thank you,
Susan Shelbrock
Ladson, SC
March 30, 2008 at 10:17 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
tmh32 (anonymous) says...
I just prayed for Ramey, her family, her friends, and the doctors who have helped her. Thanks for giving us all a glimps into this wonderful woman's life through her adversity and show of faith. God bless you all.
Wishing and praying for a speedy and safe recovery
Todd Hughes
Mt. Pleasant
March 30, 2008 at 10:50 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
amylrod (anonymous) says...
A beautiful, inspiring, faith building story! It was fitting to make the front page of the Sunday paper. My prayers are with Ramey and her family. She is truly blest!
March 30, 2008 at 11:15 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
jessoliver (anonymous) says...
Dear Ramey,
I hope that you are doing well and strong. I am not sure if you remember me, but my name is Jess Oliver, RN. I was your nurse at Roper on the Neuroscience unit when you were first diagnosed. I will never forget your strength. I was amazed to walk into your room that day, to hear your story and see your smile despite the news you had just received. I only took care of you for a few hours that day, and when I got back to work the following week I asked what had happened to you? A co-worker let me know that you went home and that the doctors were going to start you on steroids. This was the last thing I had heard, before I saw you online for the Post and Courrier today. I read your story & viewed the photos and video and wept...and they are tears of joy and tears of inspiration. I don't often hear what happens with patients or even get to learn so much about a patient's personal life. I could tell just from my short time taking care of you that you were someone with tremendous resolve, spunky humor and inner light.
May this inner light of God's peace grow within you to heal you and nurish you. Keep smiling until all parts of you are smiling inside. I know in my heart that you will rise above, infact I think that you already have. This courageuos way of sharing your experience is amazing. Kris Carr, creator of "Crazy, Sexy Cancer" has inspired many in this way. (Google it if you have not already) Also, check out " The Yellow Courtyard"...it is a integrative medical facility that marries western & wholistic treatment for cancer patients.
You and your family will be in my prayers!
May God's peace comfort you, fill you and surround you always! Jess Olver, RN
March 30, 2008 at 11:27 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Hutch (anonymous) says...
Dear Ramey I pray that no matter how long your
recovery takes that you won't lose that
Blessed Hope. Keep your eyes on Him.
Joyce
Ladson
March 30, 2008 at 12:07 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
wonderdog (anonymous) says...
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
March 30, 2008 at 1:34 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
preachlove (anonymous) says...
Ramey - Your story has truly given me inspiration today. If ever a person could be considered an Angel on earth, you are as close. Hang in there. No one knows for certain why we go through very difficult and trying situations sometimes in our lives, but sometimes it does test our faith, especially when we feel like we have been a good servant. One thing I do know, and it's not much, :-), I do know that when we have Jesus on the journey with us, those dark days shine just a little brighter. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Wishing you many brighter days! Take care.
March 30, 2008 at 1:50 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Mon_Kie (anonymous) says...
And this belongs in the newspaper because.........?
If I wanted to read about someone with cancer, I could read about that sports guy with prostate cancer,
but I don't.
This ain't news guys!
There is a lot going on to write about, the war the election, the economy.
No wonder they call this rag the "Newsless Courier".
March 30, 2008 at 8:20 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
eatmobbq (anonymous) says...
This is a wonderful story of a family facing trials together through faith. I wish you all the very best!
March 30, 2008 at 8:32 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
pezlady (anonymous) says...
I read this story earlier this morning and it lifted my day! The power of prayer is very strong and please know that I am praying for the entire Reeves family! This may not be some people's idea of news and that is fine, but at least it's a beautiful story of inner strength and pure faith. Thank you!
March 30, 2008 at 8:32 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
sdjohnson (anonymous) says...
This was an excellent, inspiring story. What a wonderful way to hold this family up as a shining example of how to come through trials. This should be done more often!
March 30, 2008 at 9:37 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
charlene68 (anonymous) says...
Wow.. what a great story this was . i hope with her inspiration and seeing everything she went through it will make alot of people closer to GOD. I know it does me .
March 31, 2008 at 8:40 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
imthemom (anonymous) says...
What a strong family! I hope all goes well. Keep the faith girl.
Mon_Kie:
If you don't want to read the story... don't.
March 31, 2008 at 9:02 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
grace2u (anonymous) says...
This absolutely belongs in the paper! As a nation the news is often so negative. The positive stories, ones filled with hope and love, are often unreported. You go Post and Courier for bringing a story of "unshakable" faith to the front page. This story needed to be told, needed to be heard and needs to be followed. Ramey Reeves is an beautiful example of how to handle adversity in difficult circumstances! Please continue to update your readers on her progress.
March 31, 2008 at 11:05 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
jnblack83 (anonymous) says...
Ramey,
I'm so glad to hear your story and to finally have a face to go with your name! I am a friend of Kristi Jennings and she has kept me updated with emails! Continue to recover and thanks for the eye opening need of such a faith! :D
Jess Black
Lynchburg, VA
March 31, 2008 at 1:20 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
mominthesouth (anonymous) says...
It is nice to read a story that humbles you. We get so caught up in all the horrible things happening everyday that we need to stop and think about what really counts...our life. I wish Rammey many years of good health.
March 31, 2008 at 1:33 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
walleyedwoman1215 (anonymous) says...
I believe with all my heart that this story will change lives. I walked the floor and prayed and cried and laughed for hours... this coming from a third-generation traditional Episcopalian who fears being thought a "Jesus freak." Ramey, you have made me bold. Pray without ceasing and keep your eyes on the prize!!!
March 31, 2008 at 5:11 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Bobbi626 (anonymous) says...
Ramey,
It's Bethany's Mom! What can I say Ramey? You, John & Judah along with your parents, sister and friends are in my thoughts, heart & prayers every day. I was so glad that Bethany & Jake got up to Duke to see you & John on Easter right after your surgery. I want to tell you how admired and respected you are, of course by the people who know you but also by the ones who know of you, thanks to this wonderful article on the front page of the newspaper and your willingness to be so open. I have sent the article to many or shared it with folks here in Florida. Your faith has always been strong and unwavering, now the world can see it too. Luv the Do!! It is so you!! Tom & I will be up to Charleston soon and will see you then. Hang in there, I know you want to get home and start the next phase of your journey. All in good time and in His. It is well with your soul................
Lots of Love,
Bobbi
April 1, 2008 at 12:03 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
DrJimPat (anonymous) says...
Mr Lyons,
Your 3/30/08 piece on Ramey Reeves a dear friend of my best friend, Candice Branche is clearly the most profound example of a faith testimonial that I have ever experienced. I heartfully hope that you will broaden your submission in venues that will allow many many more people to share Ramey's faith, personna and story. Everyone that I have shared your web site posting with has been brought to deep tears. There are so many people that would benefit greatly from this piece.
Sincerely,
J Patrick Ware MD
Atlanta Family Psychiatry, Inc
www.AtlantaFamilyPsychiatry.com
404-313-5519
Email: DrJimPat@aol.com
April 13, 2008 at 1:42 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
happyrain (anonymous) says...
If and when will there be a update on Ramey ? She has been on my mind and in my prayers.
April 15, 2008 at 9:50 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
jessc4343 (anonymous) says...
update on Ramey -
She's now in hospice care. You can read more here: http://prayforramey.wordpress.com/
but please, dont stop praying now - while she hasn't gone Home yet, her family and friends need prayer more than ever.
July 8, 2008 at 10:19 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
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