Charleston RiverDogs sending someone to Ohio — for good!

The Charleston RiverDogs released their 2008 promotional schedule this week. In addition to some of the things fans have come to expect — Big Splash Day, Hall of Fame Night, the Kindness Beats Blindness auction — there are a few out of the ordinary promotional titles that stick out and beg for further explanation. The following are the top 10:

1. Go Back to Ohio Night (June 25)

The Charleston RiverDogs staff would first like to say they love all those stories from the northern transplants on how well run things are there. They also would like to know if the last person who left Ohio remembered to turn out the lights. Just in case, they're offering to send someone back to check. But they're not offering to bring the "winner" home. Incidentally, general manager Dave Echols and co-assistant GM Jim Pfander are both from Ohio. It's believed this idea was dropped in the company suggestion box and was misinterpreted as part of the promotional brainstorming.

2. Bobblection Night (Aug. 8)

The R'Dogs will produce bobblehead dolls of the presidential election candidates and fans will cast their "votes" by selecting one of the dolls when they enter the park. The first supply of dolls to run out will be declared the winner. This promotion correctly predicted George Bush's victory over John Kerry in 2004.

3. Pope Soap on a Rope (April 12)

In honor of Pope Benedict XVI's planned visit to the United States in April, the RiverDogs will have a soap-on-a-rope giveaway that bears a likeness to the leader of the Roman Catholic faith. It's unclear whether anyone using the soap will have to wash their forehead first, followed in order by the chest and both shoulders.

4. Muscle Shirt Giveaway (July 12)

This is actually billed as Torre Tyson Appreciation Night. The RiverDogs manager, in his fourth year in Charleston, has a penchant for cut-off sleeves. In his honor, fans will receive muscle shirts. Details are still being worked out on the Get Ejected by an Umpire contest.

5. The Writers Strike Back — It's All Unscripted (April 8)

The public address talents of Ken Carrington will be put to the test because the staff will not give him a promotional script or a list of either team's rosters. By the end of the season, Carrington barely needs a script. But this will be the second home game of the year with a roster full of new faces and a list of new promotions.

6. Cheap Skate Night (April 29)

Already on a Two-for-Tuesday Night, the RiverDogs will honor the penny pinchers throughout the game. As an added bonus and an opportunity for a sight gag, there also will be a mini-skating rink set up in the kids' zone for a very low price.

7. What Would Chuck Norris Do? (June 24)

Regardless of the situation, the answer probably has something to do with a quick roundhouse kick to the jaw. A look-alike contest is planned, and other activities are in the works about the martial arts film star.

8. Beards and Mustaches Club (May 14)

The RiverDogs' parent club, the New York Yankees, has a policy against its players having facial hair. There's no rules against the fans though, so the RiverDogs have invited the Holy City Beard and Mustache Society to Riley Park to show off facial hair of varying shapes and styles.

9. Indiana Jones is Old (May 16)

Apparently, the R'Dogs believe the world's most famous fictional archaelogist/adventurer is getting long in the tooth. They plan to have some fun in tribute to Indy's latest movie release.

10. Superhero Cape Giveaway (Aug. 9)

Imagine the sight of half a dozen capes or more flying through the stands attached to the children in pursuit of a foul ball. Now, if only Riley Park could get a breeze blowing in that day.

-- Bill Henley, The Post and Courier