LeBron James, Michelle Wie and Al Parish

Sporting notes compiled while making my checklist for the NBA Finals:

--Work on my rap lyrics.

--Ignore all known basketball rules.

--Study up on trash talking.

--Take month of June off.

--Scalp tickets/Fund 401-K

--Order LeBron James T-shirt.

--Find old Tim Duncan T-shirt.

--Wear headband while watching.

--Watch only last quarter of each game.

--Tell boss I'll be late for work.

"Now tell me you were in the joint/ The night MJ scored 63 points/ When the Lakers won titles back-to-back/ Didn't give nobody no kind of slack." "Basketball," Lil' Bow Wow.

Ugly little secret

--Congrats to South Carolina and Clemson for making it to the Sweet Sixteen of college baseball this weekend.

--Clemson players and coaches, however, need to stop whining about not getting a super regional at home. It could impact their performance in Starkville, Miss.

--Really, Starkville is lovely this time of year.

--Pay attention to the lineups of your favorite college baseball teams. New rules restricting transfers will soon change the face of college baseball.

--Unlimited transfer rules have long been the ugly little secret of college baseball. Change was overdue.

--One last word on colleges: A tip of the hat to Jerry Baker who is stepping down after several decades as athletic director at the College of Charleston. Job well done.

--OK, one more: Congrats to Citadel athletic director Les Robinson for being named the AD of the Year for the Southeast Region of the Football Championship Subdivison. That's NCAA-speak for I-AA.

--OK, OK, this is the last one: How did Florida's Billy Donovan not get counseling from his old coach Rick Pitino who left college basketball (Kentucky) for the NBA (Boston) and came back (Louisville) with his tail between his legs?

"I chose you for the one/ Now we're having so much fun/ You treated me so kind/ I'm about to lose my mind." "You Made Me So Very Happy," Blood, Sweat and Tears.

Odds and ends

--Being famous isn't as much fun as it used to be.

--What has baseball come to when a guy like A-Rod can't go to a strip club with a blonde in Toronto without it making the New York papers?

--Babe Ruth would be shocked!

--And another thing — how come the paparazzi don't follow Roger Clemens around? How many 40-somethings can throw a 90 mph fastball?

--And we cast dispersions on Barry Bonds?

--Michelle Wie tried this week to explain away her withdrawal from last week's Ginn Tribute. She put more spin on that effort than any shot she hit at RiverTowne.

--My wife does Pilates at Core Essentials, the same place some of the RiverDogs work out, but she still throws like a girl.

--I Can't Resist: If they made the Al Parish story into a Broadway musical it would be called "One Gnome Over the Line."

"One gnome over the line, sweet Jesus, one gnome over the line/ Sitting back home with an ankle bracelet, one gnome over the line." "One Toke Over The Line," (with apologies to) Brewer and Shipley.